4 The aftermath

The next morning I woke up to the sun rudely assaulting my eyes. *sigh* I'm not in the mood to be awake right now, but I can't go back to sleep now. Now that I think of it, last night took a lot of weight off my shoulders. I didn't have that nightmare about my mom last night, for the first time in years. I shudder at the thought of my nightmare.

"Hey, so you aren't dead. Nice to see we can still have some fun." I quickly sit up and shift my attention in the direction in which the voice came from. I gasp in fear as my eyes lock with his. "Jayden!? H-how did you get in here?" I reached for my emergency button as fast as I could, but I wasn't fast enough. He grabbed my arm and squeezed tightly. I tried to pull away, but that only made him squeeze tighter.

"You should have known your place, bitch. You think you're all that, don't you?" he forcefully grabbed my jaw and pulled me close. "Hiding behind that little girl? You're a coward and i'm going to show you where you stand. Doesn't matter how many hospital trips you have to make, you'll learn one of these days. Do you understand!?" I quickly nodded my head in agreement. Once he was satisfied I was released from his grasp. He took a step back, giving me the most sadistic smile i've ever seen and then he walked away. Once he was out of the room, I let myself quietly break down. What did I do so wrong that I needed to be beaten for it? I curled up into a ball and cried until my head hurt, then I cried some more. What was I going to do?

Later that day Alice came to visit me. As soon as she walked through the door, setting her sight on me, her smile faded. She rushed over to me and started to analyze my face. She stood up straight and made an angry yet worried expression.

"This bruise wasn't here yesterday. Did someone come in here and do this to you, while I was gone!? Who did this to you!?" she was clutching her purse tightly. What was I supposed to tell her? That my bully from school tracked me down and did this!? She'll go mad with fear.

"It's not what you think. This happened before. The bruise just took a bit longer to develop than the others. You don't have to worry. No one came in here after you left, I promise." I used the calmest voice I could. She could never find out what happened. What would he do to me if he found out that I told someone? I'm not ready to die.

"Do you expect me to believe that? I stayed quiet yesterday when you said you couldn't remember who did that to you, but I can't sit here and keep pretending that I don't know you're lying through your teeth! This person whoever they are... came here after everyone left and hurt you again! Just tell me who did this so I can help you. For god's sake, i'm your mother!" tears were streaming down her face. She was red with anger, yet all she could do is cry. She'd known from the start. I could have just told her and maybe this wouldn't have happened.

"Mom, i'm sorry. I was scared that he would do worse if I said something. He came in here this morning...told me that I had to learn a lesson and did this. I-i'm fine though, so there's no need to overreact about this." she narrows her eyes at me before taking a seat on the bed. She reached out and pat my head gently.

Her hand slowly grazed over my strawberry blonde hair. She was being gentle, even though her facial expression was everything but happy. Suddenly she grabbed a fist full of my hair and started to yank my head back and forth.

"You are not 'fine'! How can you just continue to lie to my face!? You always keep all of your feelings locked away. Why can't you just tell me how you feel!? Am I that untrustworthy?" she pulled my head down so I couldn't see that she started crying again, but I still could tell. I could hear her sniffle and sigh.

"Mom, I love you and I trust you with my life, but there are a lot of things that you just wouldn't understand. I don't need to be coddled or taken care of. I know it seems like I need help, but honestly, i'm doing fine. I'm not going to die if I don't confide in you. I've already talked Chloe's ear off about all of this." once Chloe's name left my mouth she let go of my hair. As soon as I looked up I noticed the expression on her face. She looked beyond angry. What was I to do now? I told her the utmost truth, yet she's angry? And she wonders why I lie. Either or she'd be angry, so what was the point?

"You went to Chloe before coming to me!? How is that supposed to show me that you trust me!? You let this...boy beat you and threaten you, then you run to your friend instead of me!? Your mother!?" she stood abruptly and angrily walked to the door.

"You're not my mother!" she stopped in her tracks and turned slightly to look at me. I didn't mean to say that out loud. I couldn't understand what I was going through. I mean how could she? How could she get angry at me for having someone to vent to, that isn't her? I couldn't just sit there and let her take out her frustration on me.

"I'm not your mother you say!? Who raised you!? Fed you, cared for you, and loved you when no one else would. I may not have given birth to you, but I am more of a mother than you have ever had. I gave you everything you have and you dare to be so ungrateful!?" she slowly walked towards me. With each sentence, she crept closer with an expression of pure rage.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be ungrateful to you. You're right, I was being inconsiderate. I'll correct my behavior." she shook her head and came closer.

"No. You need to understand what that feels like." she then proceeded to slap me across the face. It stung. The pain of the slap intensified the pain of the bruises that were already there. Tears stung my eye, but I held them back. She sighed and then walked back to the door. Before leaving she turned to face me once more and said, "I hope you understand that you were wrong for your actions. Next time come talk to me. I'm your mother."