Abandonment

My breath stalls in my chest, sputtering in and out of my lungs like a dying engine, and suddenly a huge chasm opens up beneath my feet stretching far into the distance.

Me on one side.

You on the other… out of sight.

Suddenly I am bound, as if heavy chains dangle from my wrists, my ankles, my ear lobes, like jewellery adorning flesh. I am.

"Don't go…" I try to speak, but sound has abandoned me.

Sweet suffocation engulfs me as my lips part and close and my tongue moves within my mouth to form words, like a fish out of water pleading for the safety of the ocean.

Darkness embraces me like the loving arms of a hunter. I drift aimlessly.

When I wake, I am greeted by a field of white. The air stings my lungs as I finally, finally, take in greedy gulping breaths. It is then that I notice the numbness invading my limbs and realise that I am surrounded by snow.

I jerk into an erect position, wrestling with my limbs to get my legs to obey my command as I stumble forward like a hapless fawn taking its first steps.

I walk. My lips burn blue and tears freeze as they fall, burning into my skin. But still, I walk. Until vision dulls and my feet drift away in the cold.

I lay there. Half dead. Half alive. As if the earth and heavens are tugging me in opposing directions in a struggle for control.

And as I lay there half delirious, I feel the frigid shadow of death creeping over my body. Crawling ever so slowly toward my heart. It is only then, laying on the doorstep of the abyss, vulnerable as babe, starring at your towering form, that I finally grasp my heart between my own hands, draw it to my lips, and whisper the first words of warmth.

Light rains down, showering the earth in sun-kissed fire. And I rise.

Alone.