117 Chapter-116 "Crystal Eyes" and "My demons" pt-3 (Side-Chapter-4)
What is darkness?
The 'total absence' of light.
Keyword, 'total absence'...what does that tell us?
It tells us that Mikihiko found himself inside the same, unending darkness that he was so familiar with.
A place where he would go every day; unwillingly, of course!
Mikihiko is an earnest person, sometimes prone to anxiety, much of it stemming from his belief that he should have been able to, but could not, wield magic in the same way as in his past.
By his own admission, despite making him bitter and lack confidence in himself, the 'accident' that happened to him and subsequent struggles have made him more humble and open-minded.
To the point that he studies modern magic as much as possible to try to make up for his deficit.
At times, he pushes himself too much and is very hard on himself, having unrealistic expectations because of his pride.
All of this, just to be free from the huge mountain pressing against his body.
The young man is cursed... literally!
When Mikihiko was only 7, he conducted an unsupervised magic ritual in order to summon one of the great beasts.
The Spirit of Dragon!
For those who don't understand the gravity of this situation; just keep in mind that within the humongous myriad of spirits.
The great spirits like 'Kirin', 'Pheonix', and 'Dragon' are considered to be most supreme!
These three spirits are a literal representation of divine, pride, and arrogance.
The Spirit of Dragon, of course, didn't like the fact that a 7-year old toddler was trying to form a pact with his great esteemed self.
He decided to humor himself and chose the 7-year old as his host but of course, things weren't so simple.
After taking root inside his body, the Spirit of Dragon effectively limited the full output of magic that Mikihiko could produce.
As such, he basically half-crippled the boy and presented him with a challenge.
ᒥ O' mere human, I, the Great Spirit of Dragon has chosen your insignificant self as my host ᒧ
ᒥ But in order to harness my vast powers, you must pass my test! ᒧ
ᒥ You must defeat a portion of myself within your mindscape and free yourself from the limiter I have placed on your magic ᒧ
ᒥ Only and only then, can you harness my vast power; you will stay weakened until you succeed! ᒧ
These were the exact words that resounded throughout the mind of the ignorant 7-year old who clutched his head in pain.
From then on, Mikihiko would be dragged into his mindscape to fight against the massive dragon that has been dominating his magic.
And this was exactly one of those nights when the darkness would take control and he would be lost within his mindscape.
---
ᒥ Tell me Mikihiko... are you scared of me? Because it is embarrassing! ᒧ
That gritty voice!
The Great Spirit of Dragon loomed over the tiny figure of Mikihiko, like the lofty clouds floating through the air.
He looked at the massive size of the arrogant lizard and clenched his fists in anger!
"Let me go! I don't want your power!"
"Just leave me alone!"
Gogh!
The humongous dragon to look towards his pitiful host; a challenging smirk on his face.
ᒥ You are telling me that you don't want me in your life...That's pretty hard to digest! ᒧ
ᒥ I told you I'd leave when we die, and we haven't died yet! ᒧ
Hearing his words, more anger swelled inside the Yoshida family young master as he tried to move forward.
Cling!
"What!?"
"No! Free me of these restraints!"
Yes, chains resembling a barbed wire coiled against Mikihiko's body and dug into his skin; drawing blood and screams from the boy.
ᒥ Haha! You don't like the prison I built you? You wanna know what the funny thing is? ᒧ
ᒥ You keep on talking to me like a stranger...But we've been together since you were a kid! ᒧ
"No! You took control! You have been using me as your vessel ever since that accident!"
Mikihiko continued to struggle against the chains as they slowly tore his flesh.
His face twisted in pain as he wondered the reason behind all of his agony!
ᒥ You must have no brain if you are trying to get rid of me! ᒧ
ᒥ Tell me, boy...What's the point of having guns if you can't aim? ᒧ
ᒥ What's the point of having blood with no veins? ᒧ
ᒥ What's the point of having love with no pain? ᒧ
"What do you mean!?"
ᒥ What I'm saying is me without you doesn't make any sense! ᒧ
ᒥ I know I'm intense in controlling...but you need to learn how to cope with it! ᒧ
ᒥ That's just the way that it is! ᒧ
"I do not accept this! Never!"
ᒥ Hmm...If you didn't want me to live in your 'house', you shouldn't have let me move in! ᒧ
ᒥ It's comfortable here and I like it, I got my own room and everything... It doesn't get better than this! ᒧ
"Get out! I want to live my own life!"
ᒥ You say you want to own your life Then wake up and take your own advice! ᒧ
ᒥ You just mad because you know I'm right! ᒧ
"Argh! Count your days' lizard, soon I will be free of yourself!"
Mikihiko in a very long time, let out a sharky comment to counter the words coming out of the Dragon's mouth.
ᒥ This much confidence in that, Saltzman boy? Impressive! ᒧ
ᒥ But tell me that this is what you want? Both of us out in the open? Venerable in front of others? ᒧ
ᒥ Let's do it then! ᒧ
ᒥ I know that you're mad, but I'm not in the mood for this...So why are you acting like I'm not a part of you? ᒧ
ᒥ You will never be able to get rid of all of me! ᒧ
ᒥ Hahahaha! ᒧ
The thunderous roar of the Dragon shook the entire mindscape as he closed the distance between himself and Mikihiko who had a slight smile on his face; rather than his normal timid expression.
The young man looked at the giant lizard and spoke with conviction!
"We will see...You'll spend the rest of your life in my 'backyard' or back of my mind, depends on how you see it!"
"Mark my words! You'll be out in a week."
"Telling me you want your room back, that's funny; What, you don't have nowhere to sleep?"
"I will just look out the window and laugh at you because this is crazy to me!"
"I always thought that you had me in prison this whole time!"
"But I'm the one holding the keys!"
With a prideful smile on his face, Mikihiko talked back to the Great Spirit who simply snorted after hearing the boy's words.
ᒥ Where do you even get this confidence from!? ᒧ
Even the Great Spirit was intrigued by the sudden change in his host's behavior.
Crackle!
The chains cracked as the young Yoshida broke through his restraints; even his injuries had disappeared like it was never there, to begin with!
"Huh! I always talked to you with my hands tied."
"Walked towards you on a fine line."
"Everybody has a dark side and I felt embarrassed when people saw mine! Your courtesy, of course!"
"I used to wonder while looking at the rain falling from my dark skies; when the clouds would part?"
"Only to reveal more lies!"
"I used to question myself; Shouldn't I see the sunshine now?"
"I wondered how I looked in God's eyes?"
"Am I a good person or a lost one?"
"Will this feel worth it when I'm all free?"
"Will I feel ashamed of who I was? Before you took over!"
"With the pain vanish or will more come?"
"Will I stay numb or regain my magic?"
"Maybe someday I will have a taste of freedom?"
"Will, I ever take the 'poison' out of my blood?"
"Or would I just leave 'it' there inside of my lungs?"
"I know that I must let you go!"
"My hands felt cold while thinking about the possibilities without you in my life!"
"So please, just leave me alone!"
ᒥ No! ᒧ
"I just want control!"
ᒥ No! ᒧ
"I feel so exposed...liars in my mind!"
ᒥ No! ᒧ
"These voices!...you don't want me happy!"
"You don't want me fixed!"
"You don't want me better, you just want me broke!"
"You always talk but never listen, at least I am willing to admit it!"
"Tell me something different, I don't see the difference!"
"Whenever I look at you, I just feel offended, I just feel defensive!"
"Why don't you accept me? I just need acceptance!"
"You just want perfection, I need you to let me go!"
ᒥ Why did you say that I don't belong here? Huh? ᒧ
ᒥ Oh please! Cry me a river! ᒧ
ᒥ I watched you grow and here you are, saying that I don't care!? ᒧ
ᒥ If I let you go...Open all the doors and let the peace enter; where would be the fun in that!? ᒧ
ᒥ Little Mikihiko, you are so pitiful at times, so miserable inside! ᒧ
"It is all because of you!"
"If you were never in my life then nothing would have happened but you decided that it was fun to see others suffer their whole life! For your amusement!"
"You want me to hide! How can I survive, huh?"
"You want me to beg; want me to plead; want me to die!"
"You just want me dead; you just want me hurt for your amusement!"
"You don't want me to live; you don't want me alive!"
"So stop with the pretending! I don't feel respected...I just feel rejected, and I don't like rejection!"
"You also promised protection but I don't feel protected at all!"
"I just feel neglected, how can I respect it?"
"So I have decided! I will learn from, Erik-san and I will gain the strength required to defeat you once and for all!"
The strange dedication could be observed deep within Mikihiko's eyes as he vowed in front of the Great Spirit.
ᒥ Humph! We will get to see very soon; who will come out victorious at the end! ᒧ
And just like that, the darkness suddenly broke and Mikihiko woke up in his bed; he was having trouble breathing!
He turned to look towards the clock and found out that it was only 2:00 in the morning.
"I should get some sleep!" Said the young man with a tired expression.
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