3 Little Red Phone Wire

'Nononononono' Alfred thought. He could feel tears pricking at his eyes as he listened to it. All the countries harassing him, over, and over, and over. What hurt the most though, was when Russia started taunting him, stepping closer with each word until he grabbed him by the neck. All he could do was scream before--

Something was shaking him.

Cold sweat dripped from his forehead. He was panting, and his legs hurt. It was a dream.

He looked to his side to find Rulyn, looking at him with an unreadable expression. She checked his temperature before digging through her back for the stethoscope, checking his heartbeat quickly to make sure he didn't faint or something.

"Was I screaming again?" Alfred asked as she threw it back to his bag.

"Yes, and running," she replied, before going back into her bag and grabbing another chocolate bar, handing it to him. He took it without complaint and started eating it. "We still have four hours until we need to wake up, go back to sleep."

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He woke up first. Looking around, he started packing their stuff back up before stealing the bathroom shampoo and throwing that into Ru's suitcase. By now it's been four days since he's been home, and he honestly missed his little monsters.

After about half an hour Rulyn woke up, brushed her hair out with her fingers, changed, and they got ready to leave.

"They said we have to be out by seven," Rulyn said, "what time is it now?"

"Six fifty," Alfred replied, swerving his suitcase as he left the room, key cards in his hand to return them. She followed behind him, footsteps muffled by the carpet that covered the entire hotel. The two dropped their key cards off by the tired looking brunette at the counter and left, packing their stuff up in the car and leaving.

"I might have to get gas a few times, fourteen hour drive is getting turned into seven," Rulyn sighed, gripping the wheel, "we get food at eleven."

"Okay," Alfred answered, an unwilling edge to his voice, "what are we eating?"

"Whatever we can find that's fast and not fast food," Ru confirmed, "I can't physically eat another burger or chicken nuggets."

"Agreed," the blond replied, looking to his companion out of the corner of his eye, "Are any of our accounts depleting?"

"All of them are getting taxed, and all of them are depleting," Rulyn grunted, grumbling out something obscene in Russian before continuing, "why can't we just get left alone? Jesus, it's like that time York got arrested. No, it wasn't drugs, it was actual sugar!"

"I mean, it was all in baggies," Alfred chuckled, "I can see where they got it."

"That's how you store sugar if you don't want ants!" Rulyn exclaimed, banging her head on the steering wheel before paying attention to the road again.

They drove out of town before Rulyn swerved off the road, taking a direct route and going almost 300 miles per hour. The two made casual discussion until it was time to pick up lunch, in which they drove into the nearest town and found a Japanese place, getting teriyaki before driving off once again, Rulyn still casually going straight instead of bothering with roads. The Jaguar had wheels that could withstand a volcano anyways, so it was fine.

By one thirty, they were in Ohio, heading to the southwest portion were the family house was.

At two, they were driving into the valley that he owned, the mountains that protected them from prying eyes and kept them safe surrounding him like they had for over two hundred years. The two drove through the trees before they cleared into fields. Grazing sheep stood out far over, multiple dogs running around, defending them and keeping them together.

As they got closer, one of the wolf packs and one of the cheetahs ran along the car, curious as to who was inside it, both eventually giving up and falling back.

It only took so long before the houses were in view. Two large mansions built tall and connected by a large garden in the center. The mansion on the right was the largest though, seven stories. It dwarfed the other, which was only four. They sat pressed as close to the mountains as one would wish, and both were both painted a light white with a grey base, black accents along the windows, and the main door of the larger.

The family garage was built into the mountain on the right, only the disguised door in the open. The cars held most of their cash, especially their racing cars, and needed to be safe.

As the garage was clicked open, there was the signature sound of happy children. As they pulled in, passing the rows of trucks, tractors, and normal, cheaper cars that got kept in the front, they saw two territories, Palmyra and Nevassa, following the car to greet Al when he came out. As Rulyn pulled the car into its parking space Alfred basically jumped out of the car, his daughters embracing him in a hug.

The seven and six-year-old were happy to tell him all the hijinks they got on with, including almost getting bitten by one of the anacondas (he seemed livid about that), before they went off about something else. Rulyn grabbed the trash from the front seat and kicked it into their sewer before talking the suitcases from the trunk, locking the car before hanging the keys on the hook in front of the parking space. By the time she turned back around, Alfred was waiting for her with Palmyra sitting on his shoulders, laughing at Nevassa, who was circling around him on the ground.

The group walked to the hallway that connected the garage to the main house, the adults making idle chatter as they did. At the hallways frame stood a teen, the oldest.

"Mom!" Delaware exclaimed running up to him, and hugging him, "I missed you."

"I know Del," Alfred replied, ruffling his sons hair, "but I've been gone for longer."

"I still missed you," the teen pouted, before letting him go, "I'm going to go tell the others your back!"

Alfred chuckled as the boy ran off. As they got into the house Rulyn was instantly glomped by her dog, Odele, and Arizona set off a firework, almost setting Hawaii's dress on fire -which Alaska got revenge for- and all-in-all, a normal fuckin day.

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A week later~

It had started out to be a calm day. The Russian Blue, Anya, had had her kittens early this morning, her second litter. The meat cows were getting butchered tomorrow, and the pigs after, and the chickens and turkeys after, so really everyone was resting today while they still could.

At least, until a private call for Washington DC was intercepted. Sami was the one who ended up picking up the old retro phone, before coughing to switch her voice.

"Hello?" the unmistakable voice of Russia's boss came through, "I would like to speak to your Director of Nation, concerning a missing person."

It was code for personification, and the supposed 'Director of Nation' that didn't actually exist was just someone the other country leaders thought that America had so that they didn't call the President or White House in general. They never did private calls for missing people anyway. Samuel grunted for a quick second, internally switching his voice into his Director voice, before Sami handed the phone to him.

"Yes?" he said, his voice sounding more snobby and ill-intended than it actually ever did, "What do you need?"

"I request a peace," he said, "we do something to allow our personifications to get along better. I suppose a house- it can be in America, that we use to force them to get along. It will be a good experience anyhow, and promote less hostility in the future, hmm?"

"Why would they need to get along better?" Samuel tested, trying to get him out of this situation like a parent would their introverted child, "They get along fine."

"Sir, I insist, before I contact your President and ask him," the Russian countered, unpleased, "of course, you could just tell me up front, make things take less time."

With nothing else to do, he looked between the three voters, who were all still with anticipation. Before Rulyn started nodding yes, Sami following her example, and Alfred rapidly shaking his head no- then yes- before just curling up on his spot on the couch and giving up.

"How long?" Samuel asked as the two girls went to go comfort Alfred.

"Three weeks should suffice, no?"

Gazing at his voters, both of the girls shrugged, while Alfred sunk deeper into the couch cushions.

"Alright, and in America?"

"Yes," Russia's boss replied, a more pleased tone getting drawn from him, "how about your personification picks mine up from your nearest airport, then takes him to his house, yes?"

"The nearest airport to my own is the Greater Portsmouth Regional, Ohio," Samuel acknowledged, "the home he is currently at is there. I guess we got a deal?"

"Deal." the Russian confirmed, the line going quiet.

To tell the truth, everyone was lost. Especially Alfred, who was so lost he had a panic attack. Their eyes darted around trying to make sense of the call. Sure, America was drawing out of its pacts to become isolationist again, and sure it was scary for other countries, but shacking up the two most powerful nations didn't seem like such a bright idea, especially when one was prone to mood swings and spent most of his time trying to stay away from other nations. Cough, the one sitting in front of them, who had gone from yelling at the creeps Mr. Atheist was reacting to, to crying like a newborn.

"Take Hero," Rulyn told him, patting his back, "see if Russia has any pets that he'll bring. I'll go looking for a house in the woods to rent for three weeks."

"He has a cat, that's all," Alfred muttered, "he'll bring Lampushka with him. He knows I like animals."

"Good, at least you know each other," Rulyn gave one of her rare smiles, "it'll be okay. You'll get a friend."

Friend. That word hadn't been used to describe Russia since- since the cowboy days… when he could hang out with Russia in his south and have a break from the kids for a day. They would see the sunflowers, rope bulls, and smoke (well, he smoked, Russia wasn't the type) and they could just… chill, with the hardcore lesbians, girls, and the gays. At least until permanent settlements took over, and in turn, Christianity… homophobia…