37 Desire

"I think, being able to die for the sake of my love ones is the best death that I could desire for."

~Third Person's Point of View~

Can people be happy and just forget all the pains of miseries? Can he forgive someone for the sake of happiness or... Can she forgive herself for the sake of freedom?

If they can't, darkness will stay and always be there.

Aries got confused as why Zoey was acting strange and got flustered when he told her his sister's name. There's only way to think about it.

"Do you know my sister? Did you meet a girl named Sera?"

Queries by Aries as he got the feeling that she might be have some relations towards Sera, the way Zoey's reaction. He felt strange, it had been a long time since he asked these questions to look for her. It's like he got back from the past. But then, he got stunned when she looked at her and tears just flew down.

'Ah... She's crying again.' he thought.

He let out a sigh as he laid back against the back supporter of a harrogate wooden bench. He took a glance at Zoey before he looked up the red leaves above them, while Zoey was holding back her tears, feeling guilt, and angry at the same time.

"Sera was so excited when she was able to get out of here. She hated this place you know. She felt like she was in prison and being choked from behind, even though she was respected here. It didn't really matter to her coz she just wanted to see the outside and lived a normal life there. She's weird isn't? She was having a peaceful life here yet she chose the outside world when she knew well that it was risky."

He felt like he had to tell something about her. And every time he looked at Zoey, it seemed like she was resisting for something. She was trying not to remember something terrible and trying to be calmed.

"I tried my best to change her mind and even wanted on going with her, but she stopped me. She said that it's her own journey." he continued, then he clenched his fist when he remembered an awful memories.

"But she stopped sending emails for so long which made me worried. It took four months before we escaped here to look for her. We tried everything we could to find her until we got to know about Circus illegal business and she became one of his victims. Even though we're still hoping, but deep inside, I know that we're too late."

He closed his eyes in pressure to prevent the tears from escaping. He didn't want to show weakness in front of a girl. Then, he noticed that she stopped crying.

"So, it's alright to speak up. I had already accepted the fact that she's gone and took revenge for her. For now, I just want to know what happened to her. I want to let go of my sister..." he said.

It was the first time she heard him talking serious, and she felt his sadness. She didn't know what to do at first she got to know that he's her sister. But, as she listened to him, she felt that maybe it's really alright to let it go.

"Sera..."

He had the right to know the truth. No matter what would happen after, she had to face it and there was no turning back.

"She was the one who helped me to escape from here. She saved me."

"You are suck at explaining in details, Zoey." he commented when he felt like there's more in to it.

It actually didn't matter to him because when he heard that Sera saved her, he felt happy and relieved for some reason. He knew well her sister and how helpful she was. Sera was very softhearted person. When there was someone in need, she didn't hesitate to give a help. He looked at her again when he saw that she clenched her fist.

"Is there's something regretful that you did?" he asked that made her trembling. He patted her shoulder, "Hey, relax. It's OK, I'll be happy to listen to it."

But then, she let out a big sigh and he got shocked when she slapped her cheeks left and right. Then, he moved back as reflexes when she suddenly looked at him in the eyes.

"It was my fault, Aries." she said without blinking.

He could clearly tell that she was holding tears. She was in so tense and couldn't loosen her shoulders. Seeing her like that is telling him that she caused something terrible that led to Sera's death.

"It's me who killed Sera."

Since the day that Sera helped Zoey to escape the palace, they had been together. Sera decided to look after her since she was still young and not in normal state.

"I can be your big sister, Zoey."

That time she had been unable to recover from her grief at her grandfather's death. She wasn't able to forget everything, especially that she killed a person. And because of that she begun to lose life. She didn't talk to anyone and only nodded when Sera talked to her, and she didn't go out or come along with Sera when she was going to deli. But despite all these she started living together with Sera and slowly recovering, thanks to Sera that didn't give up on her.

"You know what, Zoey. I also have a younger brother, maybe a little older than you and he's so serious about life at a young age. But when I'm around, he's actually a kind and cheerful... And a very protective brother. So, I think you two will get along."

Day by day with Sera, she started coming back to herself and live a peaceful life together. They spent together for several months and she became cheerful, careless, and naive girl once again. She thought that it was alright to move on because she's free and far away from the palace, and the danger only comes when she's at that place. So, with Sera she did her best to repay for her gratitude with happiness and made sure to always make her smile.

"Sera! Sera! Look, I caught a big fish!"

"Way to go! What do you want for it to be? Grilled fish as usual?"

"Hmmm... I'm thinking of making this as a pet!"

"You sure you're 16? Geez, we're here for food and not to take it as a pet."

"Eh, but he seems to be good and I may also be able to walk him around the street!"

"What do you think of it, a dog?"

"Oh, that'll be awesome. Way to go, Sera!"

"You----!"

"Ahahaha! Sera is getting old, you can't catch me."

Spending together helped each other from being alone and able to free themselves for longing their love ones.

One night, Zoey woke up when she heard a disturbing sound and voices from the lounge. When she was hiding in the stairs she heard Sera and the landlady talking about the payment of the house. Her heart melted on how Sera pleaded desperately for another time to acquire money, but the landlady was just shouting and warning her nonstop. Seeing the situation of Sera, she felt the urge of doing something in order to help her.

She decided to sell everything that she had. That was her first time doing something that she hadn't done before, selling goods on a crowded place. She felt how hard it was, but she didn't mind coz after that she got what she wanted. That also the first she achieved something on her own. And when she came back home after she gave the payment at the landlady, Sera was nowhere to be found. She was feeling excited to tell everything what she did, but when she came back. Sera was looking angry at that time and didn't talk to her so, Zoey insisted of talking her and ignored the fact that she's angry because she thought that Sera's mood would lighten up if she told her that she paid the rent. But the result is the opposite to what she expected.

Sera slapped her for what she did. She was not at home because she got a new job at the candy shop few days ago. It was an opportunity for her because she was in need of money and the salary was high. Her manager told her that she could get her advance salary if she's in needed, which she asked for. Then, she went to the landlady before going home to pay first and that's when she got to know what Zoey did. She already knew even before Zoey told her, that's why she slapped Zoey as soon as she came back.

She never thought that Zoey would do something like that, because to her no matter how hard the situation was she would not ever ask for someone's help coz she wanted to work hard for it. She didn't leave the palace just to make a younger one solved her problems. She despised herself for that and didn't realize that she slapped Zoey. But when she realized that, she hugged her tightly.

"Listen, don't ever do that again. Think only for yourself and not for anyone else, to survive in this world you have to think wisely for every single thing before you act. If it someone else, they'll take advantage of you."

Since then, they hardly spent together because of the new job of Sera. They didn't get to think about the expenses because of her hardworks, but in exchange Sera became busier and Zoey was always alone at home.

One day, she went to Sera's workplace and checked on her, but unexpectedly she saw suspicious people. The moment she saw them her heart was beating so fast and couldn't breathe well. She got reminded about the past. But even so, she didn't want to ignore it again. She didn't want to let the same tragic happen again so, she secretly followed them while looking for Sera. And when they got inside a storeroom, she saw Sera and other employees being captured. The three men wore all black attire and completely sealed their face so, she couldn't see their faces even though she was just behind them and hiding in the pile of boxes. She remembered what Sera said to her about thinking wisely before doing something so then, she calmed herself in order to save her. She looked around and found couple of matches and papers on the ground. She grabbed all those and sneakily put the papers around the back of their shoes. Since the place was dimmed they didn't notice her, but Sera saw her which made her nervous.

Zoey put fire the papers using the matches, the fire got bigger and it reached the men's clothes. On that point, Zoey immediately ran towards Sera. There was quite a gap between them and one man cursed after seeing her so, he pulled out his gun despite of being burned in fire. Sera noticed that and also ran towards Zoey, and before the man pulled the trigger she hugged Zoey and immediately turned around to show her back, to protect Zoey from the bullets.

They all got stunned when they heard gunshots.

"S-Sera...?"

"Run..."

"H-Huh? No! I did that to save you, there's no way I leave you here.!"

"W-Way to go...."

"Y-Yeah, right... Now, let's go. We'll leave here together. I'm not gonna let the same thing happen again."

"I can't go with you, Zoey... I got shot many times... I couldn't make it."

"Stop it... It's not the time to be lazy.! Let's go..."

"Hahaha... I guess I've gained weight..."

"Stop talking... W-We will leave here together.!"

"You're wasting time.. Let go of me, Zoey. Being with you for the past months was great and enjoyable, I've felt like I live a normal and happy life... I'm satisfied... Now, you go... Let go and run..."

"No... I said----"

"Go.! Runaway from here! Run before you all get killed----RUN!"

Because of her scream the other employees got shook up and started running. One of them pulled Zoey away from Sera, which she's glad. But Zoey kept insisting until she got tired and gave up lifeless as she watched the store standing in fire.

"You can do whatever you want. I won't mind. It's all my fault." she said.

Aries averted his sight at the sky. All this time they thought that Sera had an injustice and cruel death in the hands of human dealers. They never heard about that fire incident or about a woman roasted in there, maybe because it got fixed immediately and hid in the public to avoid issues. After hearing Zoey's story, he felt lighter than ever.

"What are you talking about? I should be glad to what you did." he said when he saw that she was still in regrets. He could see well in her face how she regretted that day.

"All the people that lost their lives to save you will never be in peace because they can see that you're still suffering by blaming yourself because of what they did. If you continue that, they'll think that you're not grateful."

"Just how can that be? I'm the cause of their deaths, if I wasn't in their lives they'd be still breathing... You still might be able to see Sera... It's all my fault." she said as tears started flowing down again.

"Are you saying that being born is a fault? Many people strive for everything in order to live a life they desire, same thing on how they want to meet their deaths. And as for my sister, she accepted her death in order to save you and was satisfied to her life. She lived with all her best till the end, and that's what she desired. Just like your grandfather and that guy----I mean, not Caleb but that leader guy. They love you aren't they?"

Listening to him made her heart wanted to shout out loud and let go all the heavy objects and thick needles that were stuck in her heart. She never cried this hard before.

"And I think, being able to die for the sake of my love ones is the best death that I could desire for."

He said as he reached her and let her cry in his shoulder.

To be continued...