1 Chapter One Part A

It's cold... why is it so cold?

...What time is it? Do I not have my alarm set... it feels so long since this dream started... Can't I wake up?

...Now it's hot. It probably isn't that warm but when (something?) adjusts to a 'norm' any deviation is felt in an exaggerated way till adjustment.

...How do I know this? I feel like I am reading those words of a dry and dusty (pane?) within surroundings of oppressive silence.

Wait, what's that? That pressure... it was there just an instant but I've never felt that before... I think.

There! There it is again! Its, its... movement? It is pressure but it is moving from a point (to the side) to somewhere beyond me? ...Am I in its way?

...Wah, it changed directions! Again! It moved! ...Oh, it's not hot anymore, I adjusted safely! Humph! Hehe, I don't think anyone's listening. ...Or are they?! Hah, not likely.

Bored... I am definitely awake now or lucid dreaming. but when I dream I usually can see? All I've seen since I started monologuing has been darkness and slight flashes of red when it got hot... maybe I am looking at the inside of my eyelids?

Hrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

Hah, hah, hah... something's not right. Why can't I move my eyelids?! Am I having a stroke?! ...No, maybe? I shouldn't be able to think if I was experiencing a stroke... I think?

When you have no reference point time can really drag, huh? Or is it fly? How can time fly? Does time have wings? Hmmm... and yet another pointless diversion to help me cope with crippling anxiety and enroaching madness! Stay tuned for after this quick break!

...Why did I feel this sudden desire to giggle?

Ah! Yikes! Brrrr...

That was surprising. First, pressure! More than the the almost constant movement from before to now and somehow after that big (splash?) the (whoosh?) movement started making that spot real cold! Stop it!

I said stop it! Hrrrmmmm!!! Woah! I think I moved! Did I?

Hrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmm!!!! I, I, I... think I moved? I still can't see and there is still that constant moving pressure... at least the cold spot went away!

But why am I not tired? I tried really hard to lift my eyebrows! And then I moved... twice! ...I think... But if I moved I couldn't be having a stroke... maybe I am having a seizure? ...But I moved voluntarily?

So, maybe this is a lucid dream? ...But what a long one!

Gah! More of those splat thingies!!

Hrrrrmmmmmm!!! Gotta move away!

Hah, hah, hah. Made it! ...umu but now I'm hungry? I gotta get something to eat! Hm? Why am I thinking of white lines in some red sauce with brown lumps and green sprinkles? Ugh, now I'm even more hungry! For something I don't even know what it is?!

I want to cry.

I'm hungry, tired (am I tired? Yes, I'm tired), cold and I can't see anything but black and flickers of red and when will this dream end! Boohoo...

Alright, now I'm angry!! Grrr, why can't I wake the fork up?!

Hrrrmmm!! Hrrrrrmmmmm!!! Hrrrrrrmmmmmmm!!!!

Hah, hah, hah. I give up. It's useless! I'll never wake up! I'm a vegtable and I be totured by weird pressure and cold unto madness before someone finally pulls my plug and I die! ...boohoo. I don't want go die! I haven't given mom her new Winnebago RV or told dad that being an Elder does NOT give him carte blanche to dictate others lives or condemn them for not living life per his prejudices! I haven't mended my differences with my sister or even seen my brothers in, in! ...How long has it been since I saw anything?

Sigh. I hate saying that word but now I am starving and all I can remember is regrets and people who I'll probably never see again...

...so tired... I guess this will be my final resting place, huh? Good-bye cruel world! I had hoped to see my family again but I guess it's not meant to be! At least there is the hope that my brothers and sister (and hopefully, nieces and nephews) will live a long a happy life! I'm off to meet dad and mom! Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye! Tear.

*CRACK*

Wah? Is that, is that, is that light?! It's yellow with a white center and it seems to have a long vertical shape? Doesn't matter! Get it!

Hrrmmm! Hrrrrmmmm!! Hrrrrrmmmmm!!!

I am moving! Kinda... The light from that crack sound hasn't gotten bigger but it hasn't gotten smaller either! What has happened is moving smears of color, such as, green and brown and blue and more white and yellow and pink! There is life in the void!

Yay!! I would be jumping for joy but I haven't quite figured out how yet...

Rolling, rolling, rolling! And rolling, rolling, rolling! Rolling, rolling, rolling! Yay!!

Huh, not as much green now... more grey? And, hrrmmm, ugh. Once I started slowing down the momentum of my roll it got a lot harder to start again, it feels like I want to go backwards?

But! It's boring if I stay still! ...and if I'm bored I'll start thinking and then I'll cry again...sniff. Gotta roll!!

Hrrmm! Hrrrmmm!! Hrrrrmmmm!!! Rolling, rolling, rolling! Rolling, rolling, rolling! Rolling, rolling, rolling!

And I think - KYAAAA!!!!

*bloop*

Wha- what!! Oh no! Blue stuff is gushing through that light! Yikes! No! It's so cold! I'll drown!

Hrrrrmmmm!!! Hrrrmmmmmm!!!! Noo!! Nothing is happening! I'll really die this time! No! Not fair!! Hrrrmmmm!!!! Hrrrrrmmmmm!!! Hhrrrrrmmmmm!!!! Ah! The gushing stopped! ...Sigh. So cold. And whats this stuff around me, it's wet! And cold! And gross! Ick! Slimy!! Double ick!

Hah, at least I lived... but now I'm feeling motion sickness and for some reason I feel stuff passing me really fast? Ohhh... I don't feel so good... gag.

Ugh, can someone stop this? I'm gonna hurl... ugh.

*Choke* Ugh! Spit-tuie! Spit-tuie! Spit, spit... eww... more slime and it smells really bad! Ugh...