Part 1

Am I cursed or something? Why do I always manage to disappoint my parents with no matter what I do? Maybe what I am doing is not what I want to do? But how should I make them understand that? How should I make dad understand that what he wants me to do is not something that I am interested in? I am very unhappy. Why don't they see that? Of course I won't be able to excel in something that is not in my aptitude.

I am not made to be a damn lawyer or IAS for that matter. I mean when I can't say anything in front of my own parents, how the hell they expect me to put up my point of view in front of thousands of strangers.

They can't control my life in every aspect. I am doing what they want me to do, i.e., law. If I can't be a top student in it, can I really be blamed? They don't want me to have friends saying that they distract me. Whereas they are my only solace in life. It's not like I have many of them. They think wherever I go I make friends and talk and hang out with them all the time.

I know that I am lost. I need to find my way in life. I can't let them lead me like this. This is only causing me more and more frustration. I need to learn to stand up for myself.

This is what went on in Mansi Agarwal's mind after every lecture she got from her parents. She would stay silent during the whole lecture but then would go in her room and cry it all out like right now where she is sitting in her room in front of the mirror and crying out her frustration, anger, depression and what not.

She feels is not understood by anyone in her conservative family. This has been her life for the past 19 years.

Mansi lived in Delhi with her parents and elder brother. She felt claustrophobic living like that. She has just completed her second year in law school and she knew her parents would be disappointed with her performance. She wanted to do something for herself, but didn't know what. She needed to find that out.

Now, today as she is sitting and crying her eyes out she has had enough. I am going to get out of this hellhole. Enough is enough. I need to find myself and learn to stand up for myself, she thought.

She made the decision to get out. She knew she would be hurting a lot of people but hoped that they would understand later. She knew she was running away from her problems in a way, but right that is what felt right. She knew it won't be easy for her. She was all the comforts at home, but didn't have any control over her life. She was ready to leave the comforts for control. Just thinking about this made her feel liberated.

The decision was made to get out within the week and go far away from here.