14 Chapter 13: Im sorry (Joseph's POV)

I feared for what it could possibly be, I did not even want to think about it. So much had happened, there wasn't much left to lose... How bad could this possibly be? He was looking at me with tears in his eyes, had something bad happened to Susan? Had Padre gotten out and came after them? He would not have just wanted to tell me alone.

"Can we save this for tomorrow? I have had a really rough day already today." I said to him. He sat down on the little chair right beside my sofa, tears were coming down his face. I could not think of what it could possibly be.

"I don't think you could forgive me if you found out for yourself, plus there is someone that needs you right now." He said to me. I hoped he was not talking about Julia, I knew he had seen her the other day with me. I hated her now, how she had lied to me, I knew she was going to make some excuse.

My mother told me that women were tricky in that sort of way, I had to believe her because she was a women herself, I wish I could take her in like my sister, I know she was still thinking of my father like the man he used to be. He was not that man anymore, and now so much had changed.

I was sickened just thinking about it and I just nodded to pop for him to go ahead and tell me the news. He came up to me and gave me a hug real quick. It was a bit surprising but it was good to feel at least a little bit of real love.

"Something happened today, with your mother and father... They went out on a walk, but I think your father had other intentions..." Pop said to me. I remembered that Mariah had told me that they were going on a walk, what had happened though.

My mind went blank, I could not even think about what had happened to her, I felt sickened, maybe Padre had recognized me, my father was pretty big around the city. Had he gone up to him, beaten my father and then done something to my mother?

I knew that Pop's would not be this upset if something had happened to my father. They had gotten into a lot of disagreements in the past. I shivered thinking about my mother now. What had happened to her?

"Your father was found laying beside your mother crying, your mother is dead Joseph..." He told me. It was the worst fears, all coming to a reality, I wanted to say it was fake, maybe they had mistaked it for someone else. But words could not come out of my mouth.

I sat there staring at the ground for I dont know how long, Pop's I could hear crying. His family was always so close to hers. It could not be real though, had someone come after my mother and killed her? My father was with her, he was big and strong how was he not dead?

"This is impossible... My father is not a good guy, but he would have never killed her..." I said to him. He looked up at me and then shrugged his head as if he was just as confused as I was. It could not be true... This had to be mistaken, maybe it was someone else.

We both sat there for a few moments, no one had anything really to say, I knew he did not believe that my father killed my mother I could see it in his eyes, but if it came down to it in court I knew who's side that he would take.

"I don't know kid, you have told me about those stories about what your father does when he gets angry. He could have accidentally hit her too hard." He said to me. I shook my head not wanting to believe it, I just sat there staring for a few more moments.

Pop was not crying anymore but he walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I wanted to shake it off, I did not want to be with anyone right now, these last few days had been just so awful and it seemed like it was only getting worse.

"How did she die? Where is he right now?" I said to him. He looked up at me for a few moments and then looked down at the ground again. He shook his head as if he did not know and then he shrugged his shoulders.

My father did get angry I agreed, but never in public, unless my mother had gotten him real angry. But he would not hit her hard enough to kill her, only for bruises. It was still not okay, but I knew in my mind there was no way that he could have possibly killed her.

"I don't know Joseph... He should be in local prison, probably with that Padre guy, just in a room by himself until they get all of this settled out. Then there will be a court case..." He said to me. I could not believe it still, it seemed like it was all just a joke.

I looked at him dead in the eyes making sure that he was not messing around with me, if he was is was a really sick joke. But I could tell that he was telling the truth. I still did not want to believe it though. I wanted to cry but no tears could come out of my eyes.

"This has to be a mistake, I'm going to the prison and im going to talk to my dad." I told him. I then got up from the sofa and he held me down, which annoyed me a little bit, but I sat there listening to what he had to say to me.

"You need to go get Mariah first, she has not heard to news, she will be wondering what is going on, there is no way she can be asleep right now." He told me. I had completely forgetten about her if I was going to be completely honest. He was right though, I nodded to him.

He looked at me and smiled at me making sure that I was okay and that I could handle it, if I was completely honest, I was not okay, and my mind was in a different deminsion right now. But I just nodded to him, and then we both left the house and I locked the door on the way out.

He walked down with me, I was thankful for the company, at this moment it time I dont know where I would be at if I had heard the news from someone else. I wanted to cry but no tears would come out.

"Susan wants to talk to you for a few minutes, then you can go and get your sister." Pop said to me. I nodded, I did not want to talk, but these were people that cared for me and I had already lost so much, and I had gained very little.

We began walking over to their building, I looked at the sky, the stars were high up in the sky, and I just wanted to look at them and ask them why they had done this too me. So much, so soon, it hurt, I was tired, I wanted to sleep, for a long time.

I shook my head, I knew that I could not, my sister needed me and I would try my best, she was even closer to our mother than I was, I did not even want to tell her the news.

She couldn't stay there alone, if I did not go and get her right now then by tomorrow she would be put into an adoption center. I doubt if anyone would want her, usually when kids were adopted they were adopted really young.

I stared at the sky while we were walking once again, if there was a god out there, I knew that he hated me. I did not know why, I had done nothing wrong.

For a second it seemed as if something dark flashed by but I shook my head, I was tired I was probably having hallucinations because of all that had happened to me. I didn't want even want to think of what my eyes would imagine on my way to pick up Mariah.

I shivered, it was not cold, but I could not even think about what might have possibly killed my mother, there was no possible way that it could be my father, no matter how much I did not like him, if it came to it then I would try to stand by his side.

I was surprised to see Pop and Susan up this late, normally they went into their house right behind the place that they owned but right now they were up about 4 hours later than they normally left they place.

Susan looked at me, I could tell that she had cried even more than Pop, her eyes were red and there spots all over her dress. She looked as if, as soon as she saw me she was about to cry once again. She ran up to me and gave me a hug as well.

It all seemed fake, but I knew it was real... I just wanted it not to be. I sat down at their little table, she looked at me but I was too busy staring at the ground, so many thoughts in my mind that no one would want to imagine.

I was already bad at Julia for lying to me, but now I was hurt even more with the news of my mothers death. Susan said something to me but I could not hear and I just stared at the ground still not even wanting to hear the words from anyone besides my own mother.

Someone grabbed my shoulder, I wanted to pull them off but I realized what was going on, it was Pop's and my mind went back to the presence. Susan was looking at me, I could now really see the tears coming out of her eyes as she was saying stuff to me.

"Joseph, I'm so sorry, I loved your mother, me and her were close friends growing up... I want you to know that she will be in our thoughts and prayers forever." She said to me. I nodded, thanking her, I knew she meant it and I knew that they had always been so close to each other.

"Thank you... I will find whoever did this to her... They will die..." I said to the both of them. They both looked at each other a little bit surprised, they were not used to those types of words coming from me. But it was the only thing that I could think about right now.

I had already beaten one guy in a fight today, I was ready to beat the hell out of whoever had killed my mother. They began talking to each other behind my back, I could not quite catch the words but at the same time I was not trying to.

"Joseph it might be true... Everyone is saying it was your father, you don't know what he is capable of when he gets really angry, I've seen it before. All it takes is one hit to the head..." She said to me. I looked at her and shook my head, it was true but at the same time I knew that it could not be.

"No... He would not, just because he is different now does not mean that he would kill her." I said to them. They both looked at each other and then they looked back at me, but I was staring at the floor again. It could be true but I really did not want it to be.

I was still thinking about my father from the past, you never knew what he could be capable of now. I looked at the ground, I wanted to cry and just think about only the good things but all I could feel right now was absolute rage, I wanted to break something, or someone...

I knew where Julia lived, I could go and finish what we had started earlier with her boyfriend. I shook my head though, I knew that the guy was just as mad as I was about it. I would have probably done the same thing and not thought about what could actually be the truth.

But it wasn't his fault it was hers... I shook my head, there were more concerning thoughts on my mind.

"Well the court will investigate it, but for now... Your sister needs you, go and get her..." Susan said to me. I looked up, my mind went back to the presence once again. This is what all of this was about, my sister needed me right now, I could not just let her get set up for adoption. I would never forgive myself for that.

"Thank you Susan... Pop will you come with me? I don't want to be alone." I said to the both of them. Susan nodded her appreciation to my thanks and then looked up to Pop's, Pop nodded to her making sure that she was okay with it, and she nodded right back to him.

"No problem, now go you two, I hope to see you back a little bit later. I want to make sure that both of you are okay..." She said to us. We both nodded to her and then I got up from off of the comfortable chair that I had been sitting on. I loved that chair, it got my mind off so many things, but right now it wasn't strong enough for that.

Me and Pops closed the door, and I heard Susan lock it right behind us and Pop sat me back before we walked up to the road.

"I don't think we should take a carriage, I want to talk to you a little bit more and give you some advice on the way there." He said to me. I nodded, I really did not want to talk but Pop usually did give me fairly good advice, same with Jim...

I could not even think about how Jim would react when he found out the news himself. I sat there, I did not want to take a carriage in the first place, it wasn't that long of a walk anyways... Most days I went to the bar for work I figured I would just walk there.

We began walking and I was silent for the first few minutes of walking, a carriage stepped by every now and then but otherwise the streets were completely empty and silent right now, which I was completely fine with.

"You need to make sure that your sister Mariah knows she is loved... What you are going through right now is going to be a lot worse for her." He said to me. I nodded to him, making sure to keep a mental note of what he was saying inside of my head.

We continued walking for a few moments before he continued talking to me. I was just thankful having him with me, I don't know if I could truely get there on my own, and I didn't know the full story about what had happened yet and what I would tell my sister.

"You can weep for yourself right now, but make sure that things dont get too far on the deep end for her." He told me. I nodded once again, I dont know if I could really do that though. I wanted to say I could but I was not all too sure about it.

"What if... I can't..." I said to him. He nodded telling me he had heard what I had said, but he stayed silent for a few. He was thinking through his next words carefully which I could not blame him for. We kept on walking, by now, through all the lamp post on the streets I could see her place.

I did not want to think about it being my fathers, I knew when stuff like this happened he did not own it anymore, and I did not want to own it myself, I was pretty sure that the goverment would take over the place and sell it to someone else. That was the last thing on my mind anyways.

"You can Joseph, you will be strong, I believe it you, and I know your uncle does too." He said to me, he pointed to the sky, I could see him right now, with my mother looking down at me, sad too see the condition that I was in right now.

We kept on walking I did not want to say anything else and he did not say anything else to me. I looked at Jim's bar, I could see Jim at the front he was closing it. He turned towards us and noticed us he looked a little bit confused.

I could not blame him for it, he probably thought that I was just going to pick up my sister, but he was probably also surprised to see Pop with me. He was tired though, I could tell as he nodded to us and then closed the door.

Pop held me to a stop, he looked at me and then nodded to me, making sure that I was listening to whatever he had to say to me. I nodded back to him making sure that he knew that I was paying full attention to him.

"I am going to go tell Jim about it, I will make sure you get off work tomorrow, Julia or Roger will have to be taking your shift. You need it." He said to me. My eyes winced as he said the name Julia but he did not seem to notice. I sat there and then nodded to him.

"You won't be coming in here with Mariah?" I said to him. He looked at me in the eyes and then shook his head to me which I was a bit confused for. He knew more about the story than I did, apparently someone had come over to my place to tell me and he got the news from that guy.

"No... You need to tell her it yourself... I will finish the news, I will be waiting for you once I get out of Jim's bar... Take as much time as you need." He said to me. I nodded to him, I wanted to cry again but I still could not.

He made sure that I was okay and once I nodded to him he began walking over to Jims place. I watched him the whole way there, I took as much time as possible, I wondered what I was going to tell Mariah. I wanted to make sure that she was okay.

Pop was right, I needed to make sure my sister was okay, I could not show any weakness, I had to get it all out before I knocked on the door to her place. Once Pop was in Jim's bar, Jim looked over to me and then let Pop in.

That is when the tears began to flow down my face. I tried my best to look strong to them, but I knew that I was not strong enough for this, I had to pretend I was for Mariah though. She was all that I had left. Once I made sure I was ready I walked over to the door.

The lights were still on in the room and I could see her, staring at the ground looking so tired, but I knew that she could not sleep thinking about what could possibly be going on right now.

She did not know about it yet, I had to remember that, I wanted to cry again, but my sister was there and I knew I had to be strong for her.

She all of the sudden opened her eyes and looked through the window noticing me, sometimes I wondered if she could read my thoughts and know when I was nearby me. She saw me and then looked a bit confused but then she ran over to the door.

Once it was opened she gave me a big hug and then looked up at me noticing that I had cried, it was if she already knew what the news was that I was about to tell her. She let me in to the place, she looked at me and then nodded for me to sit with her at the table.

"You shouldn't be here... If father finds out he will be very angry." She said to me. I looked at the ground for a few seconds. I knew that she was smart, I knew that she was just trying to test me and find out what the news was before I actually told her.

"Father wont... Im sorry..."