6 The end of the ball

Lucian gestured to me.

"This is my beautiful companion for the night, the Duchess of Longton" Lucian introduced me.

A silence fell between us.I felt awkward standing there in front of them like a prized animal. Their eyes looked appraisingly.

"It is an honour, your Majesties",I gave a low curtsy.

"Oh my", gasped Catherine," What a charming thing you are!" she jumped to her feet and took my hand.

"You're too kind, your Majesty", I said with a smile.

" You're just like.." The princesses eyes darted to her brother. He gave her a reproachful look and she smiled sweetly, "You're just like your father"

"Arabella is the Duke's adopted daughter", Lucian interjected.

"Ah yes, how silly of me! It's your dark hair", She said, laughing cordially.

"Would you care to dance, Arabella?" The prince asked.

"I would be honoured. I only hope I won't embarrass you with my dancing", I returned.

"Nonsense!" He said escorting me to the dance floor.

The prince was a deft dancer. He was graceful yet firm. His shoulders were broad and muscular. His emerald eyes glinted under his dark brows. He was handsome and seemed like a reliable sort. As we danced, he made polite conversation.

"So what do you think of the capital?"

"It's so different than where I grew up. It's so colourful and warm"

"Where did you grow up?"

"Towards the Northern border"

"I heard you only started your education not long ago and yet you seem like a natural dancer"

"You flatter me, there is much to be desired in my dancing"

"No, I mean it! I'm not in the habit of giving empty compliments"

"Then I thank you, your Majesty"

The energy of the Prince seemed so honest and warm. It was the first time I had felt at ease the whole night.

"I take it from the conversation earlier, you do not attend many social events?" I asked.

"I believe the time would be better spent in study, but even I can not neglect my duties for too long"

"Have you read 'the voice of temperance'? Johannes makes great strides in his argument against the frivolity of the ball. I would think a number of ladies would disagree with most ardently with his sentiment"

"You've read Johannes? His work has not had a good reception in the capital as you can imagine" He laughed heartily, "And as a lady, do you agree or disagree? Do you find balls to be as frivolous as he does?"

"I can hardly say, since this is my first one"

The song came to an end, the Prince and I decided to take air from the canopy.

"I mightn't have been so reluctant to attend today if I knew I would get the chance to talk on Johannes", The Prince smiled.

"'Temperance is an act embodied in the dark, in the light and is born again through resolution'"

"One of his best quotes", He looked at me with a peculiar shine in his eye," It's so strange.." He began. The high voice of Catherine came from the hall.

"Oh Richard, you must hear this", she cried.

"Excuse me", He said with a smile.

I remained on the canopy looking out to the courtyard. I was lost in thought when I heard the clack of heels on the marble flour. In front of me stood the Duchess Patricia. The daughter of the Duke of Weltons. Her father was a financial minister and they were rumoured to be the richest dynasty after the imperial family. Beside her was a countess from the west and a lady I didn't recognise.

"Such a warm night", She draped her great, red silk shawl over her shoulder, " We haven't been introduced", she turned to me and smiled.

"I am the Duchess of Weltons, this is the Countess of Yor and the Marquess of Burell", She gestured to her companions.

"It's a pleasure, Duchess, ladies. I am.."

"Yes, we've all heard. The new Duchess of Longton", She smiled with pursed lips.

I smiled sensing this was not to be a simple introduction.

"This is my second season. I guess you could say I am a bit of a guide to some of the younger girls"

The two ladies smiled in the same restrained manner.

"And so I offer my advice where I can", Patricia continued, " in matters of etiquette and conduct"

"Well I will look forward to your wisdom", I said, taking a step towards the door.

"Then You won't mind if I impart some advice to you now", She said, advancing in step toward me.

Before I could answer she started again.

"I was most shocked. Wasn't I ladies?"

"Most shocked", The marquess chimed in.

"To see you dance with his highness without any thought to the other ladies", She said with a haughty, feigned outrage.

"I was invited, surely it would be more impolite to refuse"

"That matter is not in question, but it is the custom that the ladies and gentlemen highest in station dance first, is it not?" She asked demandingly.

"I don't follow, Madam. I was within the custom to..."

She let out derisive snort.

"Oh my! I don't mean to criticise you. I'm only offering you advice. But you must see how scandalous it is for a village girl to be seen dancing with a Prince!"

The other ladies erupted into laughter. I felt my face grow hot with anger and embarrassment. I was about to walk away when a spark of rage seemed to ignite. Before I could stop myself I took a step towards the Duchess.

"Perhaps he thought it better to dance with a village girl than a harlot"

"I BEG YOUR PARDON?" The Duchess of Welton gasped.

I descended the canopy down to the open air gardens. What had I done? All these years pushing it down, only for it to bubble forth right that worst possible moment. I paced the grounds chastising myself. I was more angry at myself than the Duchess of Welton. That is what they expect. You gave them what they wanted: An uneducated village girl. I decided I must make amends as soon as possible. After composing myself I ascended the staircase back to the canopy. As I turned onto the top step I was caught off guard by the scene in front of me.

Lucian stood in the embrace of a lady whose face I could hardly see. They kissed passionately in the shadows. My eyes met with his and he pulled his head back from the lady. I didn't know what to say or what I felt. The cold sound of his laughter in the dry air made me snap to my senses. He was mocking me. I took a breath and walked swiftly back into the ballroom.

I spotted the long, platinum hair of Patricia from across the room. I approached and began to make my apologies.

"Duchess, I want to apologize about what I said before. It wasn't..."

Her eyes grew sharp and her wrist jolted out. The bitter taste of wine splashed across my face. The happy chatter of the crowd grew quiet and the music stopped. All eyes fell on me.

A familiar feeling came over me. A quiet and dull pain. A numbness spread over my entire body. I set my eyes upon Patricia and a dark desire fell across me. I wiped my face with my hand and calmly left the ballroom.

As I stepped out and the cool air hit me, I descended into the shadowy night. I looked up to the starless sky and the deep, black abyss. I couldn't quite name the feeling that came over me. I wanted to do something that both scared and enticed me.

Lucian followed shortly behind me. He pulled a handkerchief out and offered me. I took it silently and dabbed my face. I couldn't read the expression on his face. It was neither contempt nor empathy. I wouldn't have wanted either.

"I prefer the sky like this", I said thoughtlessly. He looked up at the sky tentatively.

"What do you see?" He asked.

"Nothing. An absolute nothingness"

He inhaled and took a cigarette case from his pocket. He lit one and gestured to me. I shook my head. He took a deep inhale. The dark glow cast his eyes in the darkest shade of red.

"I wonder", he said half to himself and to me.

"What?" I asked.

"I've watched you now for a while. You seem to live your life so carefully. You completely conceal everything about yourself"

"You said my face was easy to read"

" I lied", he laughed, "Well it was half a lie. Your face says nothing. You speak but you don't say what you mean "

"And?"

" So I listen for what you don't say. I don't think you're not happy. You want more from others, more from yourself. But you can't find it. So you push it all down and down. Everything that disappoints you. Everything that makes you angry, that hurts you just goes down and down. I wonder...what would happen if you just let it all out? All that darkness pent up inside", His grin was almost inhuman, I was struck by the idea of a beast with the face of an angel. I said nothing for I had no answer.

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