Cindy's journal DONT TOUCH: A black silk tutu

Max and I had always been close. A love so high it could reach the heaven...but it only brought us to hell.

Since our birth, we've been together. We couldn't be separated without both of us crying hysterically. It was funny...we would cause a riot at school because of it. Ever since our 1st-grade dilemma, we've been in the same class. Nurses' office, playground, clubs...we were always together.

We never knew what it was, why we were connected, it just kinda was that way. You know what? I wouldn't change that. I kept him sane, he kept me safe. We're still trying to go back to what it was before...I want it to be as loving as it used to...I can see the pain in his face, I can feel it and he can feel mine. I didn't mean to cause so much hurt and im happy I get a second chance...I know im not supposed to...no one is..this is my last chance to make it up to him...

Max was a wild one, which made us an odd duo considering I've been called the calm one out of the two of us. He always ran off without me, like chasing bugs or finding something he liked. But whenever he ran off to far he would always stop dead in his tracks and wait for me. We didn't know our limit and he was always unknowing finding it out. We were able to go farther the more we got older but still couldn't be separated without vocal retaliation from both of us. Just because we could move farther didn't mean we did though. Max was very keen to crawl into my bed no matter what it was. If we could snuggle Max would not hesitate to do so.

There had been many times we've found each other just off that connection alone. (We could never play hide and seek by ourselves-) I remember a time in a supermarket and we got split up by the rushing crowd of a busy day. He started crying after he drifted too far away so I cut through the crowd, our parents close behind. I don't know how I found him, I just went whatever my heart told me to go. I could hear and see him without using my ears or eyes. I'm personally surprised he didn't try to find us but it was loud and claustrophobic so I kinda understand-

I remember a time in our lives when we wanted to go to two different clubs, ballet, and martial arts. I remember Dad questioning us about our decision but Max didn't care, which I like about my little goofball. (He talked back to dad a lot- more than I realized actually-)

Fun story- I got my black belt by kicking the instructor in the...lower area. I feel bad that sorta for the instructor but mostly because Max tried so hard and he only got orange. I mean he really shouldn't have underestimated me just because I had asthma. Yeah, I don't run but I can very well kick- anyways we quit because the instructor didn't want to die again. I still practice, to truly get a black belt! (Max joins in usually as a sparring partner)

Now the ballet classes, Max, unfortunately, was the only boy there but he didn't care again. (I wish I was confident like him-) The girls there pushed him to wear the tutu since they thought it would be soo funny...but he did it. And he danced his heart out, it was wonderful watching him dance. Who knew a big kid like him could be so graceful? We sadly had to quit because I worked myself a bit too hard and our parents are a bit too worried about my health. (He still dances in our free time with me which is super cute!)

It's nice to reminisce on things like this, it gives me hope. With Max back, it's just about all I can think about. I hope we still have our stuff up at home though Max said it might have thrown out... We're not sure but we still have hope and that's all we need!