55 No One Was There

I woke up to a scalding heat burning me from within, yet at the same time, I felt a bone-chilling cold swallowing me up from the outside. It was like two opposite forces colliding and my body was the battleground. It was an endless battle that brought down even the field where they fought.

I was wincing in pain in my delirious state and it had already exhausted me by only trying to keep my consciousness intact.

In addition, my head was flooded over and over again by a stream of excruciating pain that I had never felt before. Even opening my eyes right now was a taxing task.

Nevertheless, I fought my way through and opened my eyes to a blurry scene of a bedroom. I blinked a couple of times to bring back my focus. But really, the next thing I saw threw me back a little bit.

A beige wallpaper with white flowery pattern. A 1200 square feet french window covered in long ivory curtains. A vintage queen size bed with Christmas light stripping from the wall down to the headboard. There were several old paintings decorating the walls and some photographs at the bedside tables.

It was a bit too dark to make out what drawings they were and who was in the frame. So, I gathered myself and while leaning on the wall for support, I strode my way towards the bedside lamp.

Just as I arrived before it, I immediately collapsed to the floor. I felt the hair on my body stood up as the chilling ground came into contact with my skin. I gritted my teeth, fighting back the shivering and the throbbing pain that roasted my brain.

Then, with one hand holding my head and the other hand grabbing at the edge of the bedside table, I pulled myself up. Despite, the dizziness and the swirling of my vision, coupled with the nausea that I struggled to hold back, I extended my hand towards the lamp.

I took hold of the swaying string and as the light was switched on, my body slid down to the floor once again. With the bed behind me and my head leaning to the foot of the table, I watched as everything faded away.

A drop of tears escaped from the edge of my eyes, trickling down my warm cheek.

'Mom.'

.....

A..r..i

A..i..r..i

...you...w..ill....oka...y, l..ove

Slowly, my sense of touch returned along with the biting cold that stung the layer of epidermis on my skin. It jolted me awake. I stretched my sore neck as I lifted my head. Once again, my eyes opened up to the dim empty room. I looked around trying to sense a presence.

But, no one...was there.

I bit my lower lip as the tears rolled down my cheek. Once upon a time, I had everything. My parents who loved me, a best friend who supported me, and a love that embraced me.

And now...

Now...

Now...I had nothing.

As I finally found it in me to surrender, my bleeding lips parted and the cry tore the midnight silence. I dropped to the floor, burying my face into my palms as I sob over and over again, sniffling away the deathly sorrow tormenting me like the purgatory of hell.

The tears ran down like raindrops dampening the floor. It was never-ending. Again and again. The sniffling sound haunted the empty room, like a howling cry for help.

I was desperate with no where to turn to. No room to falter. No one to tell me that I would be okay. Everything would be okay. It would all pass and there would be salvation at the end of this journey.

"I want to go back."

To the place where I belonged.

"Please..."

To be who I really was.

"Please...take me back."

To be Airi.

"Please."

A high school girl who lived her days of a plain dull life.

"...."

My voice dissipated like an engine without fuel and I was left with nothing but a weak gibberish. I didn't have it in me anymore. The voice was cut off by the dryness of my throat.

It was then, I came to realize. It was the same. The same setting, the same position, the same crying girl. But, different soul.

She was here too, Li Fei. Here, right on the floor. Where I sat, she sat. Where I cried, she did too. Where I was, it was the room where she had to survive.

Li Fei saw something one day. Something that was better off a secret. Something she shouldn't have stumbled upon. But, she did and her brother knew.

What he did next was landing Li Fei on a mess he created. He pointed his finger to his sister and being the only boy in the family, Huang Lijie trusted him for he was his only successor. But, Li Fei on the other hand had to suffer from her brother's false accusation. Their father couldn't hit her because it would then leave a mark on the young Li Fei's body.

So, what he did was imprisoning her in this very room. She was left starving and the only source of water was from the tap in her bathroom. It went for two whole days before it ended.

This was what he had done to Li Fei. This was the reason for my hatred.

I chuckled. And with the hoarseness of my voice, I painfully muttered, "Why Li Fei, we're two sides of one coin."

I raised my head and looked up at the ceiling. In my currently feverish state, I began to wonder if there was indeed God in this world. Though as silly as it might sound, I really wished there was, because at least there would be someone to hear my cry then.

...and the tears wouldn't be pointless.

And perhaps I could indulge myself by thinking that...

I wasn't truly alone.