152 Live

"What are you going to do when you're healed up?" Jin Longwen had once asked me.

I wondered what my answer was that day. Did I stutter? Did I pause in hesitation or did I answer him directly?

Thinking about it now, you weren't really asking about my future plan, were you Jin? What you had really wanted to know was if you were a part of it. If you would be in the picture soon.

What did I answer you? Did my reply disappoint you? Even though perhaps at that time, I had already begun to fall, gradually, closer and closer into your arms.

I didn't know. I couldn't seem to remember it well now. Everything seemed to blur, every memory drawing a blank. I couldn't even hear myself thinking. My heart was beating but I couldn't feel a thing. Not a pulse, not a breath, the biting cold, the heater warming the corridor, or the frozen icicles forming at the tip of my fingers.