11 Always, My Little Airi

"Airi."

It was difficult not to notice the seriousness in his voice and the distress in his darkened eyes. It set a turmoil within me as my heart began to tremble.

My name had never escaped his lips with such emotion before. But today, I realized how different it could sound with only a slightly lower voice at the end of the word.

And in that moment, I had also come to realize that there was a different kind of gentleness in love.

It was a lie if I said I was anticipating his next words. Call it instinct, I knew whatever it was, I didn't wanna hear the end of it.

But I couldn't help it when I saw the expression on his face and the way he looked at me. He was pleading but resisting at the same time.

"Airi," he called once again.

I was still looking at him. I couldn't bring myself to respond but I was telling him with all of me, that I was waiting for whatever it was he wanted to tell me.

He closed his eyes and a smile blossomed on his face. When he looked at me again, I couldn't bring myself to look away. I sat frozen on my seat.

"..."

I watched him raised his hand and brought it to my cheek. He started caressing my skin tenderly.

"Do you remember?"

"..."

"Today," he said as his smile wavered, "Do you remember today?"

"..."

He closed his eyes again as if he was recalling something. He then opened his eyes to look at the sky afar. The evening breeze blew his jet-black hair and the collar of his shirt swayed a little.

"I remember this day like any other day we've spent together."

"But," he turned to me. "I remember today specifically. Do you know why, Airi?"

I shook my head. He smiled gently at me as he drew me into his embrace. Almost instantly, I could feel his warm breath on my hair.

"Because today is the day I have felt the most regret in my life."

"..."

"I always wonder if today have gone differently, how would it go?"

"What parts of it would I change? And if...

...if it would have been better."

He chuckled as he moved to rest his jaw on my head. He began to run his fingers on my hair.

"But it was stupid of me to have hoped that high, right, Airi?"

"..."

"Because no matter how, it would never be perfect."

There was no such thing as perfection. There was always a flaw and regrets that human would like to fix.

"But Airi, if today have gone just like the present, it would have been perfect. Don't you agree?"

Thud, went my heart as it fell like a broken glass. A drop of tears trickled down my cheek. Then, another and another until it fell uncontrollably.

He let go of his embrace and cupped my face within his palms. I saw the smile that had yet to disappear from his face.

"Airi."

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry."

I looked up at his eyes. "For what?"

"For making you cry."

I chuckled between my tears. "That's it? I'm not that petty, Lian-ge."

"And," he stopped. I noticed the struggle in his voice and the coldness of his skin as his fingers began to tremble.

"And for leaving you."

My world stopped. Everything came to a halt. Everything... except time.

Perhaps deep down in my heart, it had been clear from the start. But why did I refuse to see?

Perhaps I was the same. We both had hoped too high and now we were falling to pieces. We were foolish, weren't we, Lian-ge?

He pulled me into his arms again as he buried his face into my shoulder.

There was no way I didn't notice the tight grip he had on me and there was no way I didn't notice how he had held his breath, avoiding the obvious.

I felt my shoulder soaking up. Then I heard my name, "Airi."

"Don't," I said.

"My Airi."

I broke down. My hands tightly gripping on his shirt.

"It's time for you to wake up."

I shook my head relentlessly. I looked up only to meet his tears. I was stunned.

His fingers went to my cheek as he wiped my tears.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry, Airi."

"I can't. You know I can't-"

He cut me short. As he held my hand, he said, "You can and you will."

"I will always, always watch over you, my little Airi."

"Please...please don't leave me." I painstakingly choked out the words as I sobbed.

Then, before I could react, he had already leaned in and our lips sealed each other. It was a deep heartfelt kiss.

It was the longing that was left unspoken, the words "I love you" that was left hanging, the inevitable farewell that couldn't be expressed.

It was everything that took away my breath, my heart, and every words I had left on my lips.

When his lips finally left mine, all I could hear was the whisper that he had left me and then everything went dark.

'Goodbye, my little Airi.'