21 I Want to Stay

"Here. Take this. Is that all? Make sure we will not forget anything," professor Smith yelled to the receptionist as we approached the exit of the resort.

"That was fun, wasn't it?" Coulyne chuckled while talking to Claire.

Luckily, I still have 4 remaining days to relax by myself. Without them.

"Hey, Raver! Take this!" Claire suddenly approached me while I was leaning on the wall. I looked at it with confused eyes.

"What's this for?" I then asked to her, frowning.

"Just a simple thanks for what you did. It's not that luxurious and glittery but I know, that necklace will suit you," she said while smiling genuinely.

I looked at the necklace for a couple of seconds, still trying to realize what she meant by what she said.

A thanks for what I did? Huh?

"Who's that? Professor Smith? Do you come here to help m-"

"Open up already," I said to Claire, still knocking on the door of their room.

"Wait a minute!" she said so I stopped knocking. I then sighed heavily.

You need to endure this, Raver. Just a little more. You can go back.

Everything will be back to normal.

"What are you here for? Do you need something?" she confusingly said after opening the door for me.

"Professor Smith told me to help you. What kind of help do you need?" I asked in a dull tone. I sat on the couch while she went to probably her room.

"I didn't expect that she will send you here to help me." She then put her laptop above the study table in front of us.

"It's not like I have other choice," I replied exhaustingly. She looked at me with one of her eyebrow rose up.

"That reminds me, Raver. You told me that you don't want to join the club, but you still did. Why?"

I just ignored her and continued typing on the laptop. I think professor Smith told me to help Claire because I know these things.

Well, it doesn't matter as long as I finish all of this.

"Hey, Raver! I'm asking yo-"

"It's none of your business. Shut up," I said to her in a serious tone without looking at her. She became silent after that.

She didn't expect that I was going to say that. Not that I care abut that. I just have to finish all of this and then leave. That's all I have to do.

"Don't hate professor Smith, she's a nice person after all. I'm sure she has her own reason why she's doing this to you," she said while leaning on the study table.

"I don't care about her reason. I'm doing all of this for myself and not for anyone." I said in a cold tone. I could feel the atmosphere around getting awkward.

Yeah. Everything I did before after that day, was always for myself alone. I fell really deep but I rose up without the help of anyone.

I need to endure this, to maintain my scholarship. If I lose that, I will be doomed. For real.

"Say, Raver. Are you in a bad mood?"

"What are you saying? I have always been like this."

"It's nothing. I just feel like you're in a different state right now," she said then shrugged her shoulders.

I just ignored what she said to finish this immediately. After a couple of minutes, I completed everything.

"Thanks for helping me, Raver! By the way, how's your time with president going?"

She said she's got something to say to professor Smith so I have no choice but to come with her back to the restaurant.

"Just ordinary," I then replied.

"Heh?! Ordinary?! That's not an answer to my question! Ugh, you're so hopeless. That's why you're single," she responded, rolling her eyes.

"I'm not a slave of love, and I don't need that."

I can live without it, every single person can. Some are just still entangled with the feeling of being in love.

The only love I have is the love for myself. With that, I'm already satisfied.

"Oh, I remember now."

"Here. Take the necklace!" she said, handing me the necklace.

"Whatever."

I stared on the necklace for a couple of seconds. It seems like I already saw this necklace somewhere. The design was familiar to me.

A silver necklace with a robot head on the middle. There's also a letter B carved on it. I'm pretty sure I had a necklace like this when I was a kid.

"Everyone, get in the car! We're leaving now,' professor Smith shouted to us. We immediately followed her and went inside the van.

*Look After You by The Fray playing*

"If I don't say this now, I will surely break... As I'm leaving the one I want to take... Forgive the urgency, but hurry up and wait... My heart has started to separate..."

I just stared outside the window, watching the speeding cars, the blue bright sky with the flock of birds playing 'follow the leader'.

"Hey, Raver. Is there something wrong? You have been acting different since our first day at the resort. You can tell us if something's bothering your mind," professor Smith suddenly said to me out of nowhere.

I sighed then said,, "It's nothing."

When we got back at the restaurant, professor Smith was talking to professor Jimmy. When they saw us, they told us to have a seat.

"I already finish the work. Is there anything else that you want me to do?" I asked to professor Smith, still standing. She then smiled after hearing that.

"Thank you, Raver. That's all. You can go back to the poo-"

"I'm leaving now," I interrupted her. I left the restaurant without looking back.

My feet led me to a part of the resort with a nice view. A perfect setting to clear everything going on inside your mind.

The trees are swaying along with the sound of roaring waves. The white sand sparkles whenever the light from the sky touches it. There is no one here so it feels really relaxing.

"Am I doing the right thing?" The words from my mind suddenly escaped from my mouth.

This thought have been running through my mind these past few days, and I'm still looking for an answer.

The interaction I had with them was really different. I felt irritation and annoyance. For how many years of not feeling anything, everything was weird and unfamiliar.

"Forget it, Raver. You're just imagining things. You have to focus."

I need to follow professor Smith and stay being a member of the club. If I fail her subject, my scholarship will be taken away from me.

So I must wait until professor Smith makes her decision. This is all my fault so I need to bear everything.

"Ugh. This is such a pain—Someone's calling." I then picked up my phone and answered the call.

"Who is this? How did you know my name?" I asked, raising one of my eyebrows.

"May I know if this is Mr. Raver Sarmiento?" a man suddenly asked. His voice was a bit worried.

"Yeah, I am. What do you need from me?" I replied in a serious tone.

"There is someone who wants to talk you.'

"For what? Who?" I asked curiously.

After I finished what I said, he instantly ended the call. I tried calling him again but he's not responding.

An another call from a different number came. This time, I was really feeling something strange about what's happening.

"Who is this?"

"I got a bad news for you, Mr. Sarmiento," a voice of an old man echoed in my ear.

Bad news? Is this a scammer? And how did he also know my number?

"What bad news?"

My head immediately started aching after hearing the bad news he's saying. A part of me is telling me this is a joke and the other part is breaking into pieces.

What is this feeling... This is unacceptable...

It can't be real...

I ended a call instantly. i didn't let him say another thing. This place where I thought the most relaxing spot turned out to be the most disastrous setting I have ever been.

"I noticed that too because when you left the restaurant, you suddenly disappeared. Then professor Jimmy told us that you locked yourself inside your room," Coulyne added, raising her eyebrow at me..

I sighed heavily. I can;t tell them about it because even me can't process everything, and even if I know, I will never tell them anything.

They are just bunch of strangers for me.

"We're here."

Professor Jimmy stopped the car in front of the gate of our university. Coulyne and Claire went outside the car with smiles on their faces.

"Enjoy the rest of your semestral break. Let's meet again next week. And you Raver, if you need a companion, just tell us," professor Smith said before leaving together with professor Jimmy.

"That was a fun vacation! I wish we could do this again!" Claire joyfully said.

"Hopefully! By the way Claire, have you already planned anything to do for the rest of the semester break?"

"Oh, that reminds me. I have not planned anything yet, president. What about you?" Claire answered.

"Maybe we can go to somewhere. What do you think, Rave-"

I immediately walked quickly away from them. I need some time alone, and they will just ruin it.

I have something on my mind and coming with them will just worsen it.

When I got back at home, I went to my room instantly and didn't do anything. I just lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

What is happening to me? Why is this happening to me?

If that doctor was telling the truth, I need to do something about it. I must find a way no matter what.

No matter what happens...

"Good morning, everyone. Before we start our lesson, Raver Sarmiento, you need to go to the Dean's office right now. Someone wants to talk to you," professor Miranda said after entering our classroom.

That must be him. It's earlier than I thought.

The deadly stares of my classmates had been stuck onto me as I stood up on my chair. I let out a sigh after leaving the classroom.

The first semester had passed but their stares are still the same as before.

I did nothing the rest of the semestral break. Coulyne and Claire tried contacting me but I kept on ignoring their messages and calls.

"Good morning, Dean," I said as soon as I entered the office. He was sitting on his swivel chair.

"Good morning, Mr. Sarmiento. I'm sure you already know why you are here right now, am I right?" he replied, gesturing me to sit.

"Yes, sir."

"Well then, let's start already, Mr. Raver Sarmiento."

I left the Dean's office with an absolute decision. Now, I know what needs to be done. That was pretty shocking, but everything was settled I guess?

However, I'm happy I got to talk about that with him. Everything was on the line.

I don't know if I chose the right choice, but the only thing I know is that it will somehow help me.

"The fate really treats me badly. Last time, I thought everything will come to an end but I was wrong. It was just starting."

I smirked to myself while I was thinking the things that went wrong to my life. I had too much pain it made me completely numb.

"Good afternoon, Raver! How have you been? You're not answering our calls and messages. Did something bad happen?" Coulyne suddenly approached me.

It's lunch time right now so we accidentally met at the cafeteria. I continued walking and she's following me.

"That's not part of the club's activities, why would I come?" I answered her in a cold tone.

"Of course you should have come! We're friends, remember?" Coulyne responded to me with a genuine smile written on her face.

"I don't remember being friends with the two of you."

"Well, can we be friends? Hmm?" she asked then made a pouting face in front of me.

"Never."

"Please? I'm sure you will accept it if I keep on insistin-:

"My life is bad, don't make it worse. A rich-famous-outgoing person like you should never talk to a simple loner guy like me," I said that made her silent.

"O-Okay..."

She then left instantly after saying 'okay' to me. I sighed heavily before taking a bite on my sandwich.

I think that's better. I will make this easier for me. I must do what I need to do with out dealing with them.

I don't care about what they will think of me.

There is only one thing that does matter. Only one thing.

"Sarmiento! Professor Smith is calling you! Go to the Science Department office."

I stood up on my chair to go to the said office. I think I know what she will going to tell me.

I was about to touch the doorknob but I accidentally touched Coulyne's hand. We looked at each other, shocked.

Did she cry? Her eyes are a bit red.

She immediately looked away then twisted the doorknob to open the door. When we got in, Claire was also there with professor Smith.

The other science professors are not here maybe because they already started their classes.

"President, where are you going?" Claire asked Coulyne curiously because she's going to leave again.

"I-I'm just going to buy something," she answered before leaving.

I sighed heavily before taking a seat. Professor Smith stopped doing her paper works to look at me.

"What do you want from me?" I asked in a tired tone.

"I have decided. Your exam is okay now so you don't have to worry about it."

I was right. This is about that. But it's too late already.

"What do you want then?"

"I will give you a chance to choose. You can either stay at the club or quit."

This is it. I will definitely regret this, but this is the only way. This is the only solution to everything.

This is such a drag.

"I want to stay," I replied seriously.