1 What it means to see a butterfly

Often far from reality, people around me often think of me as an idiot. A slow, good-looking idiot who happens to be a professional hustler. By means of hustler, I do jobs that pay the bills that also pay the price of lack of peace of mind.

Are you familiar with that job?

A joyless, tiring job that will worn out all of your fast neurons leaving you slow, sad and stupid afterwards. But being a hustler also leaves you with kindness. You will always be kind no matter what.

I am kind that day.

I never said a word to a colleague that humiliates me at work. I didn't even fought of my rights usually. Is it kindness? Or stupidity. I often confused of the two. Because to me, anger is toxic to our system and environment.

I tend to make this world a better place even I should have put those dominating person in their place. Loser. Loser.

This is when I cannot take it anymore because my self is fighting with me. It knows my worth and is pissed when I am meek and helpless. I will realize it, too. How long will theses tears last anyway.

I know it is weird to see a butterfly fluttering around the bus' aisle. The tired adult didn't care, some tried to follow its course, children tried to catch it with their tiny hands. All of that just to land on my cold hands. A little powder blue butterfly to make me feel better.