Joecurie
The story has potential, but there are a few things that should be noted by the author. Firstly, punctuation. You barely use any punctuation in dialogues! It makes the story less attractive and interesting though it can be fixed. Secondly, the synopsis. Don't you think it's too short? Just maybe add a few more things to make it a bit clearer. Feel free to disagree!
Hey! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email mollyringdom@gmail.com We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). A brief introduction along with a few samples or links will be appreciated when reaching out. You might be our next top writer!