Chapter 2- Ineffable.
Early morning rays walked in as I walked towards the breakfast table knowing that there would be a new face joining us today. To my surprise he was already thier, he seemed like he just had a shower as his hair was still wet making him look like some legendary demi god. Skin pale as the early snow, he sat thier smiling while having what seemed like a random conversation with Sophie who served some juice and fresh hot tea to all of us as usual. Seems like I was the last one to join which isn't my fault either, it was the assignment that I was yet again burdened with and had to work over to not get my grades down.
Walking in I felt all the eyes on me making me feel a bit nauseous since I don't enjoy having the attention unless it's the weekly debate competition that would possibly give me some extra credit scores and the trophy comes along as a bonus to the family pride. "My bee bee" Dad smiled softly as I pecked his cheeks lovingly before moving on to do the same with Mom, Sophie, Jin and Namjoon. Unfortunately the only seat available for me was the one between Jungkook and Jin who would soon leave for work so I knew I'd be left with only Jungkook by my side but regardless I take my seat not wanting to over react over something but on the inside I was definitely screaming my heart out.
He passed me a small smile as my eyes diverted to look at his legs for just half of a second itself while I was adjusting the chair for myself. Somehow even his legs seemed amusing which would have been beyond disgusting to me if I confessed this to the yesterday me or at least the me before I met him.
"Eat the entire omelette and the bread little goose! You aren't eating well these days. Look at her Jin, she's getting so thin" Sophie started gasping with a tone filled with pure concern while filling my plate in like ever day with the embarrassing little nick name not caring about the guest around as usual while everyone chuckled. In her eyes I'll always remain as thin as a stick no matter what so I simply give in knowing that she's just worried about me like usual.
"Papa I need to leave now, the meeting starts for me in a hour and if I don't leave now then I'll be late" Jin spoke before wiping his mouth clean and looking at me so I could make sure his mouth was clean which it wasn't since thier were still crumbles of bread around his lip corner which I wiped out clean with my thumb knowing how much his appearance is important to him.
"Oh okay, good luck son and make sure you are back before dinner" dad replied while sipping his tea as Jin leaned in to peck my forehead before doing the same to Mom and waving us goodbye. "Come back before dinner or I'll take the pan out!" Mom playfully threatened him to which he responded with a thumbs up as he had walked away quite some distance from now and yelling just after a warm breakfast wasn't the best way to start the morning productivity.
"Jungkook did you like the place so far?" Namjoon questioned with his dimples on display as I munched on the bread, not really interested to participate in the conversation again as usual. "Oh I loved it, the garden is just unbelievable. The ambience this place has is really something I just read about in fantasy novels" Jungkook replies while sipping his juice as he seemed to enjoy the breakfast setup more than grabbing a random sandwich by the subway and munching it on the dirty benches of one of those artificial parks while the noise of cars and people would just rape your ears out. "That's nice to know, you can take rest for today and then tomorrow come with me to the university. Professor is at home today so clear up all your doubts" Namjoon spoke his mind out which seemed enough flexible for everyone as I continued to stare down at the fountain while enjoying my food.
"Hm I actually got some new books and papers related to the topic you might be highly interested in so I'd suggest you take a look whenever you can" Dad looked at Jungkook with the gentle look as ever, he was always the most favoured professor as well since he wasn't angry over the simplest bullshit. Instead of teaching materialistic bullshit, dad focused more on the simplicity and beauty of the subject a student is focused upon because if the base isn't build strong then how come could it support the strong structure of a building over it and later on put that building to use in the real rough world filled with dirty competition and a money rat race.
"Definitely professor, thank you so much" Jungkook had a shy look which made him look much adorable rather than the thoughts I had about him a couple of minutes ago. "Berry Y/nie! your books are here, I placed it in your room and the cello is all cleaned up" Alejandro interrupted the little conversation as I looked up to him before remembering the books I forgot about but ordered couple of weeks ago from the town library which is sort of like my second home at this point.
"Thank you so much Alejandro, can you please thank Esme for checking up the cello as well. I heard she'll be leaving the city for awhile and I can't go by that area today" I requested knowing that he would go by the route to get the supplies for the new shelf he was about to make. "Definitely miss" he smiled before walking away to continue drinking his coffee, even though he's in his 40s now but still he's active as ever. Sometimes he really makes me question myself regarding whether I'll be even half as active as him at his age.
Smiling at him once again as a sign of gratitude I turn back to continue drinking my juice and finishing the last piece of bread. "You play cello?" Jungkook questioned as I cursed myself mentally for forgetting about him. I hesitantly nodded since I wasn't the most comfortable talking about things I was actually good at. "That piano inside is hers too, she also plays flute and guitar. I heard you play piano too tho, you two should definitely try to play together sometimes" Namjoon suggested as I choked on my juice but fortunately no one noticed.
I could barely sit next to him on the bench or the breakfast table even though we had a little separating distance between us but how come I would manage focusing on piano with him by my side and I'm quite positive the distance wouldn't be the same as this, instead it'll be much closer. "Namjoon plays piano too and he enjoys duo a lot, how about you and Mr Jeon play together?" I modified the suggestion with a glare as now surprisingly Jungkook was the one choked on his juice, the pleasant expression that he once had before was now turned into a petrified look.
"Oh for sure, Jungkook I can even tell you more about my new plant Julian" Namjoon smiled wide while the other male stood froze not knowing what to say and what not.
...
Finally getting done with all the work I stood up to stretch myself, it's now couple of hours after the little brunch we just had. I push aside all the papers I just worked on before stoping by in front of the wide mirror, I wasn't admiring the reflection instead I choose to judge myself. As expected there were more things to complain about rather than the things to adore, I wasn't beautiful in my opinion. I've seen stunning beauties all through my life even though I never counted myself as one, how could I after all? There was nothing special about me at all but then there's him. He's the definition of perfection, he can even make scar look like a piece of art so how can one just not feel insecure about themselves especially after being surrounded by such perfect human beings.
I released my hairs from the bun as they bounced down, sighing and running my fingers straight through them I brush the comb through multiple times until I'm done undoing all the little knots in between. Parting my hairs I grab little strands on either side before slowly making up tiny braiding with just five or six thin strands before securing both of the ends tight and finally letting it go as it now looked like a little crown embedded around my hair, beautiful.
I felt a bit better about myself just by the little action, moving on I changed myself into a little vintage puffed sleeve white dress that hugged my waist just fine since I had it altered around the area for being too loose on my frame. Holding onto some spare sheets and a spare pencil I walk out side to my spot knowing that that's the only place I'll be able to feel the words, poetry can speak only when you feel the emotions after all.
Not paying attention to anywhere around the surroundings I take my seat on the wooden benches by the river that flowed across just by our house and five minutes from thier would lead to our garden which was scattered all around. Spreading my pages all around I start working as the not so little overlapped waves, birds disturbing the equilibrium of atmosphere by once touching the surface of water and flying away or some building little nest around, the leaves moving a little from the minor wind in the surrounding. "Mhm" I hum the tune that formed in my mind as I continued to modify what was written in front of me, something magical about each and every character as if all of them are just begging you to be pulled out side the sheet in the real world to show the people how spell bounding they can be to one's mind.
After a couple of minutes pass by I stood up from my place skipping towards the garden with one of the pages within my grasps to review while feeling my urge to have a couple of berries. "Oh wow Y/n" a voice calls out as I turn to see Jungkook sitting thier on the same bench with his book looking like he's just seen a ghost. "Were you sitting here too?" he questioned as I shook my head in response as a no even though the minute difference between the two spots shouldn't be concerned at all but then my possessiveness towards that place seemed to have taken a toll on.
"Please continue reading, sorry for disturbing" I apologize genuinely not wanting to interrupt his reading just because of me. I carefully pluck out couple of berries that catch my sight before walking away from him even though somewhere I didn't want to so I just avoid looking at him again or might as well stop by to admire his stunning features especially underneath the golden light showering upon us just like it did yesterday.
"Don't go" he calls out as he stood up immediately to run a little so that he could walk beside me but soon taking a seat the same place as mine as his eyes wander around feeling satisfied with the location. "This is even better even though it's just a bit away and isolated from the whole location" he spoke while eyeing the river while I nodded in response before throwing in a little berry inside my mouth for me to only feel the delightful taste once again. "What were you reading?" I questioned curious about the novel within his hold more than participating in any conversation with him.
He shrugged his shoulders before giving me a peak at the title before I rolled my eyes in disappointment, "That's pure bullshit. Love can't be a part or science, soul can't be a part of science either. Neither can love just happen in one day out of nowhere because if that's the case then the love would be just based off of how the person looks or how much of an ability they have to compete in the rat race of money and position. That's just attraction, not love" I ranted out while correcting couple of sentences around my worksheets before looking up to only his thoughtful eyes on mine as he seemed to be lost within his deep thoughts caused by my words.
"I guess but sometimes when it's just the right place and the right person for you is just before your eyes. You just know it, maybe you admire thier beauty at first and feel attracted because of it but then thier are little traits about a person that you can discover without having any proper conversation you know" he replied with hopeful eyes, wishing that now maybe I would return a positive response.
"Everyone can have thier own definition for what love can be, thier isn't a boundary to it so I respect what you are saying right even though that doesn't mean I agree with you" I chuckled while explaining myself since he seemed too dedicated into changing my mind to something he believes which wouldn't be necessarily possible since my views wouldn't change for as of now or until I experience something like that myself. It might in future if I met someone who could change my mind but that would surely require a lot of hard work over it. "Are you sure you're just 19?" he questioned while placing the thick novel aside as his eyes kept travelling back towards the river and me like a planned time managed routine.
"Are you sure you're just 29 Mr Jeon?" I questioned back with a sigh. "Pretty damn sure miss and now I'm kind of regretting coming to the earth so soon, my parents should have waited a bit like at least six years more" he replied with a little laugh towards the end which didn't seem genuine enough in my eyes. "What do you mean by that?" I questioned once again not believing the fact that we were actually having another baseless conversations which is close to impossible for someone like me who values time over people, not the right choice but the best one for me.
"There's no specific meaning to it, don't you feel bored talking about all these heavy feelings that you are yet to experience instead of something more young and fresh?" he questioned staring at my hands while I wondered the reason behind that question, did he perhaps felt insecure to even have a so calls deep conversations just because of our age difference? who did all of this to his poor heart and mind.
"No I appreciate having these kind of conversations more and for me these topics are definitely young and fresh but seems like you've experienced love before haven't you?" I stressed over the word young and fresh so that he knows that there is no specified category filled with young and fresh topics instead it's just always the heart to heart conversations that matters and how the person feels during the conversations is what becomes the deciding factor during everything that occurs.
"I wouldn't say love, love is pretty hard to find Y/n. Now it seems like I have to just settle with marrying someone I don't love because all these years went by and not a single girl that could steal my breath away. Not a single being that made me want to spend all of my seven lives together with them" he sighed with a smile as I envied him at that point, envied him for at least trying to find love but then thier was me- escaping from something I've never even experienced once and only read about in novels.
"Tragic" I mumbled as we both stared at each other before bursting out into a round of contagious laughter's and smiles. "It's still unbelievable tho, that you haven't even had a single relationship because that just proves that all the males in this town are blind" he sighed while catching up some air as his eyes travelled back at me. Was that his way of complementing me? If yes then it did work a bit because for the first time in my lie I found myself flustered from a compliment.
"It's not that they haven't asked me out, I just haven't liked any of them in a romantic way. They were much better as friends" I mumbled while collecting the strands of my hair that were free and dancing with the wind slowly. Holding onto it, I simply twisted couples of knot to secure them tight in a messy bun for my personal ease. "Hard to impress" he commented in between with a tiny smirk that made him look like an absolute clown.
"I like the way you take life serious even at this age, when I was 19 it was totally different. I used to sneak out late at night, have sex once in awhile with random girls that asked me out, smoke even though I was this close to doing drug once but fortunately my english professor found me out just before I could put the needle in and gave me a valuable lesson.
My father and me were always arguing about this and that, now that I think of it...If I was even half of as serious or even organized with life like you are then maybe things would have been actually different" He spoke his heart out while pulling out a pair of black shades and putting them on to protect his sensitive photoreceptors against the bright light which made him look much more masculine surprisingly. He doesn't look like a guy who would have been a bad boy during his teens, the way he acts like a gentleman makes him look more of an obedient child but that being mentioned over ten years has now passed since all of that happened in his life so he must have regretted a lot to have this much of a change.
"Don't dwell in the past, it's not worth it. Just because I have an organized life doesn't mean I don't face troubles because trust me thier are a lot of issues so don't judge someone's exterior for the way thier life might work. You'll never know what goes on the inside" I replied. All he did was smile towards me feeling comforted by my twisted words which confused me. Maybe he was trying to find the best in everything or maybe he was just being nice regardless it felt nice, watching his ever so sweet smile that showed the minute trace of dimples around his prominent manly cheekbones.
"Your hairs are beautiful when they are free, moving with the wind. Don't tie them up" his voice snaps me back as I stared at him wide eyed not knowing what to reply, how come he even have noticed that? was he actually paying attention to my details or was it just one of his mere sugar coated talks to impress females? "Are you going to keep staring at me that way?" he questioned.
"I like your scar, I don't know why but there's something about it that pulls my attention to it in a good way" I said not drifting my eyes away from the barely noticeable scar especially when his silky strands were brushing against his milky forehead at the moment due to the wind. "Just when I think it's just me but then here you are proving me wrong without even trying and realising, you are different Y/n" he said while taking off his sunglasses and tossing it aside to only look into my eyes just like he was doing all the time we talked but behind the shades so that I wouldn't notice.