1 Chapter 1

It started the way all rebellions do. With a dream.

Now I knew I wasn’t supposed to have dreams. We took a pill to prevent them—it was the blue one, as I found out the evening I accidentally dropped it. Every night after I brushed my teeth, I would find the same little paper cup waiting for me on my bedside table. There were four pills inside. One red, one green, one blue, one white. My mother put them there, in the same spot where she always put them.

I had been taking the pills for as long as I could remember. Every night, I swallowed them down with a swig of water. I could take them all at once—they’re small. Sometimes, just to be a little different, I would take them singly. Some nights it was red first, some nights white. Blue and green were my favorite colors, so when I took them separately, I always made sure I took one of those last. They all tasted the same, but still.

That night I wanted to get them over with, so I picked up the cup and meant to tip it back, swallowing all the pills at once. But at the last minute, I gave the cup a sort of jerk, just hard enough to fling the pills at my open mouth. Tossing them down. I’d try the same thing with the water but I knew I’d only end up splashing myself instead.

Three of the pills made it in. Red, white, green. They hit my tongue and started to dissolve. Reflexively I gulped them down, reaching for the cup of water. They didall taste the same, and it wasn’t a pleasant taste, either. As I washed them away, I heard a tiny ping!as the blue pill hit the ground somewhere behind me.

Great.

I turned, pivoting on bare feet so I wouldn’t step on it by mistake. The floor in my room was short white carpet, the same as it was everywhere inside—not just our house, but all the houses in the Colony, and the classrooms and office buildings, too. It matched the walls, the screens, the consoles, our clothes. Blending everything together seamlessly. Making us one.

The blue pill should’ve stood out like a bug amidst all that white, but I didn’t see it. I couldn’t see it. Where…?

I took a step and felt it crunch beneath my heel. There

Fear clawed at the back of my throat. I’d never missed a pill before. We couldn’tmiss them. Each month, a new supply was delivered to our home, a separate box for each member of the family. My pills were mine, and I had just enough to get me through to the next delivery. I couldn’t take one of my mother’s, or one of my father’s, and definitely not one of my little sister’s. These were for me and me alone. They were manufactured to myexact specifications.

I couldn’t miss one. What would happen if I did?

Cautiously, I raised my foot just enough to see the crushed blue powder. For a moment it rested above the carpet, but when I moved my foot, the pill rubbed in and disappeared.

I glanced up at the screen above my door. It was a blank, black face staring back.

Did anyone see? Did anyone know?

Without trying to make any sudden movements, I rubbed my foot into the carpet, grinding the powder in. Okay, so no blue pill tonight. What did that mean, exactly?

I didn’t know. We were told the pills helped us. They gave us quiet, peaceful lives, far from the horrors of the past, disease and depravity and desire, things we read about on the console or learned in class. The pills kept us healthy, and safe.

And I didn’t take my blue pill tonight.

Would I wake up dead in the morning?

I didn’t know.

We were told the pills help, but we weren’t told how. My heart hammered in my chest, so loud and fast I was sure the screen would pick up my distress and send a signal to the Health Center requesting assistance. It was the thought of seeing that blank screen come to life that forced me to calm myself down.

One pill. I could make it without one. I’ve taken them for sixteen years, I reasoned. Surely there was some sort of build-up in my system. Surely someonemissed a pill here or there, and didn’t die from it. I’d be fine.

I’d be fine.

Taking deep breaths to steady myself, I finished the rest of my water and placed it on the bedside table beside the little paper pill cup. I rubbed my foot over the spot where the blue pill disappeared, to make sure it was good and gone, then pulled back the covers on my bed. The fresh, tight sheets felt cool against my fevered face. I lay down, stretching out so each foot reached into a pocket corner at the end of the bed, where the sheets met the mattress.