Organisation of Peace

Ah, I always have been the one to love the rough play, but even for me, this is too much...

Psych!

"Obito... ah. The missing Uchiha. The delusional Uchiha. The naive Uchiha."

Well, that is a strange reaction for praises. I guess, Zetsu has not been taking care of Obito very well. My eyes trail across the dual-faced body. Well, I admit, it is a single face, but half of it is covered in thin black membrane.

"He doesn't know how to appreciate your praises."

I nod as the dark goo's chuckles chortled from the unmoving lips of the Missing Uchiha. But... this place is too depressing. Not suitable for such a ray of bright sunshine like me.

Softly touching my neck, a grin echoed from the depths of my heart.

"Well? Now what?"

My words caused the room to grow silent, aside from the pattering sound of the continuous downpour, of course.

"Now?"

Well, the way Zetsu tilted his head is adorable, sadly, I just happened to be a ladies' man.

"Like, when can I start burning?"

I am eager. My voice pointed that out. I felt exhilarating. I want to adventure the world before plunging it into chaos. I have plans... despicable plans that have a need to be fulfilled.

"Burn?"

I nod at Zetsu's confusion and point out.

"The world."

"I don't understand..."

Of course, you don't. Aside from licking the boots of your mother, you have no other existence, no desire and no persona, you incestuous, gooey, pitch-black freak.

A sigh leaks through my lips. I am aware now. Zetsu needs to be enlightened. It will take time, of course. But now, I have all the time in the world. Well... maybe not all the time.

I mean, I still have to adventure and well... bring girls into my dungeon... hehe...

Don't judge me, guys. I would have gone for the guys, too. I don't like discriminating, after all. But men have a dick... and they are a serious pain. Like the late pig who would kiss my cheeks with his backhanded slaps.

Of course, my tiny father is considered a pain, too.

Don't ask me how I got to know of his size... I just do.

Speaking of incestuous, I just can't help but feel excited about how much Naruko would grow. She has a freaking Kyuubi in her. She must grow well. Heh!

"... You are smiling weirdly, Naruto."

No, I am not! It's not weird. Maybe? I have to practice my smiles in front of a mirror.

Alllright, just wrote that down in my mental to-do list. Yay!

"Don't mind me. Now that I am out of Konohagakure... I should be able to move about freely, right?"

I ask the question while knowing the depressing answer beforehand. But hey! This what hope is all about, right?

"Not if you wish for the entire Konohagakure Special Ops up your... excuse my rudeness... up your ass."

Ah, Zetsu! You little uncouth black goo... well whatever. You are still adorable, so no offence taken.

"Yea, Yea. Konoha loves sniffing my butt whenever I fart."

It was the truth... probably. Who knows what their screwed mentality could possibly come up with? They might just actually inspect my stool and try to connect it with the possibility that Kaguya might return.

Not that they know who she is. To their deluded, self-righteous mind, it is the soul of my mother sealed within me that matters the most.

Yeah, tough luck. I am not giving mom to you bitches... maybe Naruko can share her with me. Despite the glaring discontent in my siblings, Naruko and I do have some tender moments.

Not that I would divulge them, Gah!

"I'll train, I guess..."

Well, what else could I do? Zetsu had been kind enough to take control of Obito and slowly corrupt his consciousness while briefing me with the inner structure of the Akatsuki and all the mind games Obito and Madara have already pulled on the leaders of the organisation.

Well, despite Konan's obvious beauty... she did use chakra more efficiently than others.

Then again, all the members of the organisation are a freak.

I mean... the hell is wrong with Orochimaru?

Is he the best guy or what?!

Ah, shit, I am getting off the track.

"Zetsu... will you be a lamb and prepare a proper lodging for me... I would love a hot shower. Maybe some actual food and also television.

I have never used one."

I grow eager once again. Television. Ah!

Watching with both of my legs resting on the table, my hands sprawled back and my eyes getting strained due to the dim light of the room and the glaring screen of the television.

'That sounds like a blast. Maybe I should host night television parties?

Inviting Konan for the time being sounds engaging enough?'

My ideas spiralled within my screwed head. Yeah, of course, I know that I am a screw-up. What did you expect me to be? A mental freak that calls himself a saviour of the world?

Not me.

If given a chance, I am such a lowly organism, that wishes to break the virginity of oneself prior than anything.

After all, virgins are not cool...

I am a shinobi, not a mage.

Despite my glaring transformation of expression, Zetsu remained a kind soul stood with a calm expression until sanity finally kissed my forehead softly.

"Alright, let's take a bath!"

Ah, how I miss a hot bath with warm water rolling down my skin. Now that I think of bath... whenever I get naked... does it mean I am flashing my mom and Kaguya, too? After all, they are also me, at least, technically.