37 Diary 37: Toxic Lust
A few years ago…
Min Soo found himself laying on top of the naked model, Tae Min the handsome fashion model. The two have known each other ever since their eyes met during a fashion convention; the two immediately recognize each other due to the passing advertisements and billboards on the screen.
After talking about various things, they become closer than friends.
"Kim Min Soo?" Tae Min asks the puzzled idol.
"You're Tae Min, right? Fancy meeting you here" Min Soo grins.
Strangely enough, the two share the same taste in both fashion and music. They connect deeper than they thought, it's like a dream come true.
The two share intimate moment for a while, occasionally met each other by coincidence. Their coincidental meeting leads to their forbidden acts. Since their body is compatible, they're using each other for sexual pleasure. The two of them are stressed for so many reasons; considering that they are public figures.
Their dates often end up in a classic motel, dancing on the surface of the bed and made a mess of the silky sheet. Scrubbing each other bodies in warm pleasure, moans escapes from their exasperated breath. Min Soo who is stressed due to his family issues and Tae Min who loses his true self; the two collides on the soft silky bed of an unknown motel.
Freeing their worries through liquids exchanges, fighting for dominance on the cheap mattress. The creaking sound of the bed resonates in the hollow room, the smell of sweat engulfs the room with a sweet body odor. One was never enough for both of them, they always want more and more.
It soon becomes an addiction, to satisfy each other needs through sexual pleasure. They became slaves to each other, the cutesy image of a K-pop Idol Min Soo is nothing but an image that he sets for his fans. The chains starting to come off, with Tae Min he can feel free from his chain. Even if it's only temporary, it heals him bits by bits.
However, it gets worse when Tae Min starts to develop feelings for Min Soo who only use him for pleasure. The Idol is aware of the consequences, the man knows what Tae Min wants is his reply.
But he never replies because commitment scares him more than anything. He remembered the time when he was committed to his family, it hurts his heart.
When his talent goes unnoticed in front of his strict parents, his dilemma went stronger and the man depends on Tae Min to please himself. Even though, Tae Min wants to be more than just friends with benefits.
"We're just sex friends" Min Soo always whispers that to Tae Min.
He knows that his action hurts Tae Min, but he keeps on going without a care.
Once or three times a week, the two would meet in an unknown motel to exchange body fluids. Exchanging words of love and affection, only act as lies to cover their wounds. The world, 'I love you' never escapes from Min Soo's mouth. On a side note, Tae Min always asks for Min Soo's confirmation, the Idol never replies though.
It slowly becomes a toxic relationship where none of them can escape from each other grasp.
* * *
After a year of doing the toxic relationship, the two were close as ever. However, the wound remains fresh on Tae Min. Min Soo, on the other hand, scared of Tae Min leaving him. He is aware of the toxicity of their relationship but afraid to let go of the only person that made him comfortable.
After dance practice, Min Soo would usually check his cellphone for any sign of Tae Min messages. It was nihil, Tae Min loved him but he slowly tried to free himself from Min Soo. The Idol pulls his hair out of frustration, smelling his hair as if it's a normal thing to do. His hand would get slapped by other members whenever he did that bad habit.
After he got out of the dance studio, he received a ping from his partner. It was none other than Tae Min. Hungry for each other touches, they would go straight to the unknown motel. Using a disguise, the two would love each other for hours; not letting go of each other's grasp.
"Min Soo, please tell me that you love me" Tae Min begs for his attention and love.
Min Soo keeps his mouth shut, it was his decision not to love anyone due to the fear of being betrayed. Tae Min is also aware of Min Soo's depression and his trichotillomania, as a big brother in his house the man has a big heart for Min Soo's disease. Min Soo only uses him as a shield to cover his pain.
* * *
"Min Soo" someone nudges him.
Min Soo wakes up from his sleep, after almost doing it with David he pretends that he's fine. Sleep is the best cure for forgetting the shameful acts they almost did while on a quest. Since he's exhausted, David implores him to take a rest in the merchant cart while David and Crow on the lookout.
However, Min Soo couldn't help but feel the merchant's gleeful eyes are onto him. David's eyes are eyeing the merchant as well; he's completely aware that the merchant is fixated on Min Soo's figure. On the other hand, Crow is oblivious to the merchant's intention nor to Min Soo's and David's development.
"Young man, you seem to be tired" the old fat merchant looks at the Idol behind him.
"Yes, but it's nothing urgent" Min Soo smiles slightly.
The Idol can't help but aware, the merchant's eyes on him is an empty husk. It only shows the desire and lust for the Idol, and Min Soo knows this since he's an Idol. The merchant smiles strangely as he returns to his seat and focuses on keeping his horses straight.
There are no concrete changes in Min Soo and David's relationship, but surely after a certain event unveil their relationship would change forever.
