18 Chapter 18: Granny Prim

"Rhys? It's just me." I look at the side and see granny. I sigh again.

"Sorry, gran. I thought you were…" I suddenly pause and wait. I wondered if she knows about the situation.

Gran looks at me endearingly, "Rhys, I want to talk you about what happened yesterday."

There we go then. I purse my lips and nod. I go sit at the sofa, the one beside her rocking chair.

She asks, "First of all, how are you doing?"

"I don't want to be rude, gran, but it's obvious how much Rose and I disagree about... seeing him again. I don't know what Aunt Maine is even… Wait, is she here?" I look in all directions, still paranoid.

"Don't worry, she's not." Gran smiles, "What Maine said yesterday, she kept it a secret for a while because she doesn't want to overwhelm you both too fast."

"We were about to move out a short while. I'm sure we would've been more shocked if we realized it late." I defend myself.

Gran relaxes in here seat, "I know how you feel about this. He left me too, your father, you know. He has always talked about wanting to leave and pursue greater things, but he just left us all without a word."

I nod my head down. This is the first time Gran and I talked eye-to-eye about this and I never heard anything about how she's feeling inside.

"I understand what he went through. My husband, Jermaine was always doing different sorts of mishaps and was always stuck in jail. I know my son also wanted to leave because of the rumors spreading around about his father. And now, you're also going through it. I'm sorry, Rhys."

Gran's word after another sink deep in my chest and it made my heartbeat fast. I can't believe I'm now just experiencing all of these.

"But I know my own son. He grew up to be loving and kind. This town changed him. For his behalf, I'm sorry for what he's done to this family, and that he couldn't say that himself. Though, I do think he wants to. It may be hard for him is all. That is why he wants for you to move to the city and be closer to him. So that you can start over."

I suddenly burst, "Why couldn't he tell us that himself? Why couldn't he come here and apologize and explain it himself? Why did he do this in the first place? None of use would be in this situation at all!" I look at gran then quickly say, "I'm sorry for yelling." I look down again.

"Fathers can be really confusing, can they? There can be so much hidden emotions inside them. But there are also hidden struggles. Rhys, if he truly does not care anymore, he wouldn't have suggested for you and Rose to live with him again."

When gran said that, I eye her. "There is no reason for him to do that after all these years that would benefit him in his work. I'm pretty sure he's handling his business alright on his own. So, why else would he do this?

"I understand if you still don't change your mind. But maybe you can give one last piece of your heart to your father and talk it out. I don't intend to be unfair and I love every one of my family equally. All I hope is for everything to be better."

It stays quiet for a minute. And it was full of tension. I feel my entire body boiling, but I feel my mind in the middle of emptiness and chaos. It was like, I want to throw my entire bed and at the same time, go to my bed and lay there silently. I was trying to process everything that gran just told me. I didn't know what to think or believe anymore, but I do trust gran when she said that she hopes for everything to be better. I do, too.

This is also the first time we've talked seriously about… well, anything. And I could clearly see that she's passionate about everything she's telling me. My body calms down when I process that.

Considering her suggestion, I look at her sincerely and say, "Okay. I'm glad that we've finally talked about this. And sorry it took this long."

She smiles at me again and holds my cheek, "I'm sorry everything has been too bad for you to avoid talking about it."

For the first time in my life, I hug my grandmother.

-

The conversation from earlier was stuck in my head and I was overthinking about everything. I think about my family line and how messy it all is. I figured out so many things from Jacob, because of the cave, and now talking about somethings with Gran for the first time. I wanted to talk to her about the whole Jacob and Cave and Malinda thing, but I didn't want to make her worry about me. There are other things that she, and I, worry about anyway. All these ruined my motivation to start my research about the cave and my body won't even move an inch from my position on this bed.

Or maybe I'm just tired as always.

I don't know how long I've been lying like this, awake, but apparently, it's been long enough that Aunt Maine has already returned from work and has been banging my door for quite some time now. My head has been too occupied for me to care and I already locked my door, so I didn't pay it much attention. I've always been one that can tolerate any type of noise. Just depends on my mood.

Everything was getting a little annoying, though. I thought some things were starting to clear up for me, but I feel more confused than ever and I'm so frustrated by it all. It's like I'm stuck between the choice of my family and myself. Trying to fix and figure out the entire family situation would make me burnt out and put a lot of pressure into myself. If I do focus on myself though, could burden myself with all these unfinished business and just abandoning all my responsibilities. And that also possibly means abandoning Rose which is the only person we've all been protecting. I've always sworn I'd never leave her behind.

Either way, I'm screwed.

So, here I am with my stupid little head once again.

The sun is probably already setting which is why my room is becoming darker and darker. Because of it, I can feel my eyes growing tired and my body giving up alongside the scenery.