Chapter 1: Car Trip

It was like any ordinary day going to aunt Paulette's house.

"KAREN, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Jerry screamed.

"No you, you alcoholic piece of shit." Karen replies

"Can both of you please PIPE THE FUCK DOWN!" David intervened,

"It's aunt Paulette's birthday today, so can we not be at each other's throats?"

"Yeah, but we're lost in the middle of the fucking woods!" Karen whined.

"We're not lost, we're just trying to avoid any dumbasses within a 100km radius." Jerry responded

"HEY YOU, PLEASE HELP ME!", a dirty man shouted at them while waving his arms.

"Oh god, speaking of dumbasses," Jerry pulled up at the man and said to him,

"Listen fuck face, we don't donate to the poor or help anyone in need, so I suggest you run back into that shithole you call a forrest".

The man pleaded, "Please I need to go home to my family."

"That's none of my business fuck face, now skidaddle." Jerry replied.

"I'll make it worth your time!" the man desparately pleaded.

This caught the attention of Jerry who backed the car into a deer,

"How much are you offering", Jerry curiously asked.

"$1000" the man offered.

"$2000" Jerry responded.

"$1000 and my kid's kiddie pool"

"Deal"

"Sucker" Jerry whispered to himself.

The man boarded the car and asked, "Hey, where are we going?"

Jerry started the car and responded,

"Florida jackass now put on your seatbelt, I'm not paying for your funeral".

"We drive for 4 hours and what do you do? Pick up a fucking junkie?" aunt Karen responded.

"Well I'm sorry that we can't bring your Heroin addicted friend Cheryl but I'm sure she's having lots of fun at prison."

"You fucking bitch!" aunt Karen screamed before strangling Jerry.

"Gjlah, gha fujgeh kant" Jerry inaudibly tried to say

"Hey!" David shouted,

"Can we have one decent car trip to aunt Paulette without one incident of attempted murder"

Aunt Karen let go of her grip on Jerry's neck and whispered,

"fucking bitch"

Jerry then said, "For that you deserve this", he opened Karen's door.

Jerry stopped the car and kicked Karen the fuck out.

"You assholes!" Karen screamed.

"Goodbye asswipe!" Jerry said while waving his middle finger out of the car to Karen.

As the car drives away Karen chases it and screams to them,

"Queso de lo shit te fick le punyeta de la boses mama cabron" Karen threatens them in Spanish

The man horrified of what happed over the last minute said, "Please tell me that's the worst of it."

Jerry laughed and said, "Oh, it gets much worse."