30 Give Me a Reason

A suffocating silence has set over the room as every single syllable leaves my lips. My mom's once bright, happy face has just turned to a whiter shade of pale. By her hesitation and stuttering words, I just know it is a question she was hoping I would not ask in the first place. After several moments and a couple of poor attempts, she finally finds the courage to speak.

"I am afraid he is not coming, Clay."

"What do you mean he is not coming, mom?"

"You know how your father is; if he does not approve of something, he makes it known."

"He does not approve of something like my wedding?"

"He still thinks you are making a mistake."

And just as soon as my mom says that Isabella bursts into tears and runs off the room. First, he does not approve of me getting married, and now he forces her to cry. If anyone should be pissed off around here, then it should be me. I cannot believe how selfish he can be. I know he has not approved of me becoming a Marine since that one late Monday afternoon seven years ago. But now this, this I am afraid I will not forgive him for.

As I make my own way to the room, all I can hear is the bedroom door being slammed shut. Even when we have had our own fights, she has never once done this. I have no idea how I am going to make this any better. I know that she was hoping that my father would be walking her down the aisle, but as it stands now like it is, that will not happen.

With just enough courage, I crack the door slightly open. I can see she is lying crumpled up in a little ball. The agonizing sobs that escape from her body are breaking my heart into pieces. I immediately walk up to her; I gently nudge her chin and let her face me. Her big brown eyes are drowning in a pool of tears; it causes my very own to come streaming down my face.

"Boo, I am so sorry. I did not think my father would ever do something like this."

"Soldier, it is not your fault. I was just hoping that..."

A new set of emotions come rolling over her face. Apart from Katarina, she does not have anyone so close as a family to her. The loss of her parents still hangs heavy over her; she was so hoping that my family would open up to her. But yet my father goes and does this.

"Boo, I know, I am just as disappointed, or in fact, I am actually furious that he could even do something like this."

"But soldier, who is going to walk me down the aisle now?"

"It will just have to be Matty then."

But as I even dare to give the suggestion, she once more starts to sobs. I lift her up from where she is lying on the bed and pull her closer into the warmth of my embrace. I can feel how her body trembles as she cries uncontrollably. Her tears start to drench my shirt, where she is resting her head against my chest.

"Boo, do you want to postpone the wedding until my father has calmed down?"

"Soldier, we both know that might take forever. I am getting married on Saturday; I do not care who comes or who stays away."

"Now that is my girl, I am fully there with you. If my dad does not want to come, then it is his decision. But come Saturday, nobody is stopping me from marrying you."

As I lift her face to seek the comfort of her eyes, I know that I am lying to myself. I desperately wanted my father to be here. I guess it is just another thing I did that he disapproves of. I just needed this one thing, amongst all the other failures, only this one. I just wish we did not have to say goodbye like this.

But I soon hide my true feelings away from her, for if not both, at least one of us needs to see the silver lining here.

"Are you ready to go, do this?"

"Please give me a few more moments."

"Sure boo anything for you, I will be in the lounge."

"Please, can you ask Katarina to come here?"

…Isabella POV…

I don't know what I was expecting. Of course, his father will disapprove of it. I have never in my life come across an even more hard-headed person like his father. I do understand there is a standard he has set for his sons, but this is just plain ridiculous. I do not even want to start and imagine what this is doing to Clayton.

I know that this wedding is being rushed, but if that is the piece of mind Clayton needs, then I shall give him every bit of it. If it was not going to happen now, I know that it would have definitely happened in the near future. Clayton will never understand how much I truly love him. He will never get that I cannot spend a minute too long without him. I have followed him here, and I will follow him to where ever we are going.

But there is something off with him; there is something he is hiding. I do not want to push him for answers, for I do not want us to be mad at each other, especially not now. And now I have a wedding to plan, so I better get my head into the game. But first, I need to speak to Katarina.

"Hey, you crazy person."

Katarina comes and sits by my side on the bed. "You are the crazy person that is going getting married and all of that."

"Well, what can I say, I got a thing for men in uniform."

"Talking about men in uniform, your man is looking hotter than ever."

"And acting weirder than ever too."

"But is that not what men are...weird."

But this is not just weird. He is making it as if everything we are doing now will be the last time we are ever going to do it. It is like he wants to build the memory now, for there won't be a time when we can do it

"This one is being a bit more weirder than normal."

"What do you mean?"

"I am getting the idea that he is saying goodbye."

"I am sure he is just nervous about the wedding and getting ready to deploy."

…Clayton POV…

So it begins, the count down to my big day. I never thought I would get married, let alone so soon, but I do know for certain that it is exactly what I want to do. Now, if my dad is not going to be here, I will still be going ahead with it. The minute I set foot on hostile ground, I want to be able to look at Isabella and know that she is mine. I am officially going to stop caring about what anybody says.

With this still fully aware of in my head, I am met with yet another concerned person as I sneak my head around the corner.

"Please tell me she is okay?" my mom asks.

"She is heartbroken, but she will be fine."

"I really tried everything, but he did not want to come."

"I know, mom; in fact, I would have been more shocked if he did come."

"Your dad does not always understand; in fact, he never understands."

"It's fine mom, don't make excuses for him. Let's just focus on the wedding."

But I can see her having the same burning question that made my dad not come here today. I know that she is excited, but she too wants to know why we are rushing things like this. I do not doubt that I have her support, but I think I have not convinced her yet.

"Mom, I am getting married to Isabella whether anyone likes it or not."

"I know, Clay; I just don't want you kids to do anything you might regret."

"How can marrying the woman I love be a regret?"

"That is not what I mean, Clay."

When my mom says something like this, I know that there is a high possibility that she almost exactly means what she says by it. Why can nobody just be happy about this? Around every corner there is someone that disapproves, and they will find any excuse wrong with it. I am really starting to lose my patience, and even though I hate raising my voice to my mom, out of frustration, I do.

"Oh, I forget we are too young. Or maybe you don't trust Isabelle not to hurt me. Even that she is not good enough for me?"

"Come on, Clay, I never said that."

"Yes, because it is what none of you are saying. A plain damn congratulations would have just been nice, but all I get is buts."

With that, I grab my coat and head for the door. A blind rage has taken over my body; if I do not leave now, I might just say something that I will regret. That is if I have not already done. This was to be a special day, but right now, there is nothing special about it. I have Isabella crying her heart out and a whole bunch of people doubting us. The first day of planning my wedding is off to a great start.

As I swing the front door wide open, I see him standing there with his finger ready to press the buzzer.

"What are you doing here?"