1 01

Our breathless moans flooded the room in a complete burst of pleasure. Toneri kept that serene feature on his face, while depositing a seal on my temple, with delicate and icy fingers, removing some strands from my sweaty face.

- You look even more beautiful that way - his voice came in a comforting whisper, bringing me closer to you, enveloping me in your warm embrace. A space of our own.

The sound of the starry night, the popping of people's shoes from side to side, the breeze cutting through our white curtain, entering the large, airy and spacious room were accomplices of our love. As our hearts beat, they became quiet.

"Pure kindness on your part," I said in a short laugh, as he looked at me with his big, captivating blue eyes. I sighed deeply, feeling his caresses the length of my bare back.

Blue. Something in that color brought back nostalgic memories, such as: the sweet smell of Mom's hot chocolate, of playing in the mud with Hanabi and the feeling of butterflies in my stomach when I saw Toneri for the first time.

It was in the fall, the orange leaves fell all over the campus; The moon at that time was lush and yellow. When my eyes met his, while I strolled absentmindedly over the main bridge, I realized that his blue ones were chasing me. He smiled, waved and walked over, as if he knew me from past lives. I remember perfectly how it got to me, the sounds and colors of that day. He said that I had great eyes, and that I had found my t-shirt cute, which at the time was a white blouse with some little flowers with the writing on it:

"Tell a joke and win my smile".

We have never stopped talking since then. It didn't take much to make me smile.

 "Actually, I've been thinking about certain matters," I said seriously. His gaze narrowed on me, seriously. Strumming a path from the back of my neck to my back. I kept looking at that ring with a heart-shaped ruby ​​on my ring finger.

- Subjects like?

His eyes looked at me intently. I sat up, pulling the blanket up to my shoulders. His expression was serene, paying attention to everything I said.

- The wedding. I am not able to organize myself with things, for the third time the ceremonialist was unable to schedule with the registry office, nor measure about invitations and the like. You know how difficult it is for me - I could tell you how stressful this engagement process is, under the pressure of a perfect, unforgettable and memorable wedding. Kaguya on my tail, with that psychological constraint of trying to prove that I would never be good enough to fit your perfect daughter-in-law standards.

But, I didn't want that. If we could have an intimate ceremony, that would be great. However, there were all our friends, family and friends who would like to celebrate this special moment with us, and partly, more than a simple wedding, the union ceremony would be an important step for Toneri as heir to the most respected itadatsutsuki family .

He sighed softly, yawning, numb from sleep. With all those court cases he spent all day reviewing and meetings with shareholders, his apparent tiredness was to be expected. Running her own law firm and the family's legal side was not easy.

- I already said that there is no cause for concern, my angel - and swallowed, the sight probably blurred, by the way he scratched his eyes, caressing my face gently - We can postpone, as you wish. We calmly organized a list and hired another ceremonialist. After all, I know that all the motions in the museum are agitated, and so are things in the office. I see no problem with waiting. Just don't stress about it.

- Put off? - I snorted, every time we got into these matters he never took a position, leaving the decision in my hands, in his passive way. He always had a methodical attitude about things, because I was the most sentimental and intuitive of the two of us - We have been in this engagement for about two years now, you know. Not that I bother, but you know. I'm nervous about having to deal with so much in a very short time.

Toneri nodded in agreement. Honestly, the way we were organizing that wedding - or at least we tried - sounded cynical and cold.

- I completely understand - and yawned again, in a sleepy voice - But you shouldn't be busy with trivial concerns. Most important of all, we are together, no matter the circumstances. We are a team, always.

And he kissed my temple, going down to the tip of my nose and placing a kiss there.

- I love you, Hinata. Only that matters, "he whispered, sealing our lips. He must have mumbled something like good night, however, I had already made my way to the kitchen, watching as Toneri snored quietly, in a sleep that seemed to have looped in mere seconds.

On the counter, the bottle of red wine remained there, along with some canapés, served in the wind.

I sipped from a glass, even though I knew the drink wouldn't do me any good, and I walked over to the balcony, watching the starry night, taking a sip of the drink that slid down my throat like water, causing a slight numbness to my cheeks.

With my thoughts, entangling myself like a school of fish.

It was strange that all this sensation burned my heart, as if something was not quite right. After these five years of relationship, I thought everything was more than clear.

Toneri's words echoed in my mind in a transitive way, as if there was no problem, while my heart seemed to be inflated with that poignant anxiety, bathed by the desire to have concrete answers about things that I certainly wouldn't have - not in the way that I imagined.

Maybe it was that silly, unconscious fear. A bad omen that would soon pass. I took a final sip of the wine, allowing my aphorisms to be absorbed by the alcohol.

[...]

The smell of coffee was the best thing to start the day. I took advantage of having woken up earlier - due to insomnia and my head was too full - to prepare it, check my e-mails and send the pictures of the pictures to Sai, before I got to work.

It was a morning obsession to open all the windows in the morning. As an unconscious message that the air was coming in and so, I was breathing. And so, things would flow, without me worrying.

I took a sip of coffee, suddenly feeling a wet kiss on my lips.

"Good morning, Hina," smiled Toneri in a good mood. Fixing the round glasses on his face. It was frustrating, how he managed to get completely straight out of the house: his gray-blond hair perfectly arranged with gel, the classic dress shirt with the top three buttons ajar and the perfectly polished dress shoe. I was lousy and keeping myself aligned and elegant that way in the morning. My rule was: comfort and practicality above all.

- Sleep well?

I nodded, watching his face run across the table, and stop over my eyes, in quick analysis.

- I blacked out yesterday, I was too tired. In fact, you have finished tiring me out completely.

I rolled my eyes, watching him laugh maliciously.

- Do you have an extreme need to sleep under any circumstances and blame me? - I laughed, watching Shino's caps lock messages flood my mailbox, finishing typing an important email.

- Certainly, someone woke up in a good mood ... - he joked, putting some coffee in the cup, leaning on the counter, with his arms on it.

- I woke up earlier, and decided to be dedicated to the most impressive level you have ever seen! Isn't it a miracle of the day? - I smiled, putting my hand on my cheeks watching the email box grow monstrously with several emails popping up one after the other.

- This is my girl - he joked, taking a sip of coffee - Speaking of which, what time did you wake up?

- About five in the morning, why?

- Did you have insomnia?

I nodded, and he sighed deeply.

"You know you could have called me." He looked concerned and aware of my body language.

- No, obviously not - I replied, tying my long hair in a sloppy bun - Just lack of sleep, normal. Including - disable all cell phone notifications, if you want to have inner peace - Don't forget to pick up our mail when you arrive in the afternoon, please!

- Yes ma'am! - he replied, taking the cell phone in his hands and typing some things, with a focused face - It seems that they have a lot. E-mails will swallow you up like that, love. "He pointed at my computer screen, taking the last sip of coffee. Leaving a tiny kiss on my head - Take care of your health, please. When you feel like you need to stop, just say it. We go anywhere, just to calm you down, hm.

His voice was tender and understanding, and I was relieved to hear it. However, on the other hand, that guilt of the insufficiency of dealing with my own things, consumed me. I sighed, stuffing the laptop into my blue bag on the counter, looking at the watch on my wrist.

- Knowingly, I would say Mr. Ōtsutsuki, that you are late - the clock indicated eight o'clock in the morning punctually, and I saw how his sphere of calm, had reduced to the panic of the delay. There would be a meeting with the Uchihas and they hated delays - Don't forget the writings on Civil Procedure that you left lying on the couch yesterday afternoon.I kept them in your little drawer, on top of the pink folder with some loose papers.

- Oh shit! - Toneri murmured, walking hurriedly through the kitchen - I watched Netflix late and forgot to keep it in the folder - going up the stairs, probably looking for the agenda I left in various parts of our loft - Hinata, did you happen to see ...

- It's on the desk in the office! - I shouted in response and I could hear his "thank you" humming.

My cell phone vibrated on the table.

Eight text messages and three voice messages from Kaguya Ōtsutsuki. Panic.

Seeing her name appear in the notification bar on my cell phone made me tense, even more, earlier in the day. How wonderful! That cold spine seemed to have taken over me, and for seconds, I went out of orbit.

- Hinata? We can discuss this at lunch, huh? - Toneri hugged me around the waist, with that loving and sly touch, taking me out of those daydreams - Did something happen?

- No - I smiled quickly, and I saw his features soften - Just distracted, sleep.

- We need to see the broker, about that duplex that we had enjoyed a few blocks from here.

- Ah, perfect! - I replied, with animation, passing a hand on his shoulders - And we can enjoy, and to probe that house in Kagurazaka, really, it is a lovely enterprise, dear.

- Great - he moistened his lips, looking at the golden Rolex on his wrist - We used lunch to eat that pasta you love and we can ride a bike in Yoyogi Park. What do you think? Then, we resolve these pending issues.

I smirked, resting my arms on his neck.

- Okay, Mr. Ōtsutsuki - I nodded calmly, with a soft kiss on my lips.

- See you later - he smiled brightly, with the bag over his shoulders, waving - Have a great day! I love you!

[...]

Religiously, every day I went by bicycle. It was therapy: watching the landscapes, the trees and feeling a breeze on your face. But, for some unconscious instinct, I decided to get my Mini Cooper and go to work. That car was my baby. My eighteen-year-old gift I received from my father, who had gotten it from my grandfather. A family heirloom.

The sphere of that car was very special, I spent so many memories inside it, and every little bit of it reminded me fondly of many people and situations.

All my canvases and paints were there, too, waiting for our next adventure. I liked to go out and paint.

I felt alive coloring white screens with what my heart was feeling.

If there was a place, that I would like to stay for the rest of my life, it would be close to museums and parks. Something in these spaces brought me a distinct peace and warmth in my chest. In fact, art and nature helped me a lot to develop, more than anything.

I entered the museum, with a smile on my face. The colors, layers, lighting. People going, in their curious whispers. The attentive looks of the younger ones, and the complacency of the older ones. The sweet smell of cappuccino with the cool breeze entering that great space. This was sublime.

The Tokyo Museum's Renaissance exhibition had been running for a few weeks now, and with all the success it was having, the proposals to extend it for a few more weeks looked pleasant. We received proposals to take the exhibition to other places and all this required teamwork, dedication and focus.

- And before they cowardly defame me, I'll tell you - Sai appeared beside me, agitated as usual and visibly irritated. His short, flowing black hair, adding new piercings to his left ear and his pale skin, made his sudden nervousness, mixed with a targeted tantrum explicit - It was Shion's infamous idea to remove that Banksy canvas from the main hall of entrance, as I said. She literally ignored my guidelines and her organizational strategy. I hate her. There, I let it out.

- Take a deep breath, Sai - I touched his shoulder, understanding - Every day, a different battle. We need calm, hm. Who knows, she may not be charmed elsewhere and leaves us slightly at peace? - I joked ironically and Sai looked at me discredited, giving a full laugh, filling all that place with that cheeky energy.

- You are cute, but, you know how to be mocked too - he said, and smiled roguishly - In fact, you owe me, for holding up drunk Sakura last night.

We both entered the elevator, trying our best to keep from laughing, pretending to be serious about the elevator, entering the administration floor.

- Good morning Hinata Hyūga - Shion appeared in front of me, giving me a fright with his voice filled with boredom, however, colored with some kind of forced education. Sai rolled his eyes, and the two stared at each other as if they were having some kind of mental fight.

Shion smiled a little yellow and Sai left on a tangent heading for the meeting room. I, with my extremely keen ears, heard him utter a profound curse. I held back laughter, biting my lip - Did you see my emails?

"Sadly yes."

- Good morning, Shion - I smiled and she pulled her body back with a little smile - I think we should keep things as they really are - she stopped, clearing her throat in disagreement - Or do you want us to have another meeting to decide, which already has it been decided and is it being put into practice? That doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?

I raised my eyebrow, watching it swallow dry, with a cheeky smile welling up in the corner of her red lips.

- My problem is not with what was pre-established - she said contemptuously, tossing her blond hair back - But, as it is being organized, and by who is. You know that I like to be very professional in the actions I take. And I believe, that the proposals are not properly aligned with my department.

I took a deep breath, trying to draw as much air into my lungs.

- Shion, can we discuss this later? - I asked, walking hurriedly, seeing her stuck to my heels, huffing - I have to make some calls and resolve issues.

- Can we solve this for lunch? It is urgent, Hinata.

- Hm - I stopped, analyzing my calendar mentally - I'm going to have lunch with Toneri today. Can we discuss this after I arrive?

- Sure - he said calmly, and for a moment I thought I was seeing someone else - In fact, send a kiss to Kaguya, I know how she adores me. The feeling between us is reciprocal - He shrugged, and I stood there for a few seconds, trying to really assimilate what she had said to me. Walking away from me with his red heel and a winning smile on his face.

I swallowed and went into my office. It gave me a sense of genuine peace by perfectly matching my personality. The pastel pink palette and the sublime scent of lavender, made me return to my axis. The view I had of the garden was as privileged as the beautiful lilies that were born there.

- Tsc - I threw myself in the chair, allowing myself a few seconds of peace. Putting the radio at random to play, very softly, while I organized the documents and outlined some curatorial projects. In the next exhibition, we would work with botany and natural life, and I suggested this idea to the committee due to a botanist I found in the middle of our library, amidst the Toneri findings and messes.

With lines of thought as interesting as his own person that was a mystery. With just a neat N, signed at the end of all your theses, dissertations and articles. At that time of research, I found myself passionate about its precision for ecosystems, in a poetic way, its determination to value the expression of nature as an axis of human life.

I tried to make the most of it on the internet, creating a concept map. Cutting out newspaper inserts, drawing flows and diagramming what needed to be highlighted. But the results were almost null, the man seemed to have disappeared from the map, not even his pictures could be found. Such a prodigious man in the field of botany, with advances that are certainly extremely important and that disappeared suddenly.

I found myself reading so many chapters of his scientific essay, that I woke up from daydreams to the sound of knocking on the door. I huddled in the chair, arranging reading glasses on my face.

- You may come in.

Ino opened the door gently, smiling gently.

- Good morning, Hina - she stopped for a second, looking like she had no good news - Kaguya wants to talk to you, can I let you in?

 "No, don't let that witch in."

 I simply smiled, admittedly nervous, sketching a squeaky:

- Yes of course.

Ino nodded briefly, and I asked the divine forces to guide me at that moment.

In seconds, I saw that platinum and gray hair enter my room, with that smile that left me on the verge of panic, closing the door behind him with grandiosity. Kaguya always treated me with that veiled hostility. Not even if I tried, did she just find any way to make me even more overwhelmed.

- Hinata, dear! - he said with that exaggerated sweetness of his, pulling me into an unfriendly and strict embrace. With that nauseating floral fragrance of yours - Ah, I sent you several messages in the morning and you didn't answer me. Avoiding me, huh?

I smiled sheepishly, indicating for her to sit.

"You look so radiant," he said, and a chill went up my spine. Your compliments shouldn't be seen as compliments, but as a severe warning sign - You even got fat, how great!

- Oh thanks?

- I've been trying to get in touch, but you look busy, don't you? - and passed that look across my table, cynically - I talked shortly with Shion. Always so beautiful, elegant and polite, isn't it? I told you to come and visit me, since you don't. Miroku and I have always been very good friends at the boarding school - she gave an adamant smile and I swallowed. His eyes scanned my desk quickly to find something, or any quick information so I could investigate later. She always did that. Always attentive to the smallest details.

- Ah, I was so busy with countless things - I justified, in an emotionless smile - Forgive me, but, what do I owe the reason for the illustrious visit?

And I sat back in my chair, feeling the breeze blow on the back of my neck. Kaguya took off his sunglasses and cream gloves and placed them on his lap.

Kaguya was a noblewoman, coming from a traditional and named family. The utstsutsuki came from an imperial lineage and were very influential in Japanese society for decades.

The problem was really that inelegant and scathing way she had. Kaguya did not respect any human being because he thought he was good enough.

- Ah, honey - and threw back her hair, eyes flashing in contact with mine - I feel I owe you an apology.

- Apologies? - my cheeks burned, it was common for me to be uncomfortable in his presence - for what?

- For being indiscreet with you, at that lunch - he said, without any remorse - I'm sorry for your father.

"Mrs. Kaguya, don't bother," I said wryly, and she noticed the acidity in my words.

He said horrible things to me and blamed alcohol right away. What an elegance of hers.

- How nice! - and his features changed - If I say things to you, it's for your good, you know?

I nodded, and saw her take some papers out of her bag, placing them on the table. It was a list of the best fertilization clinics in the country.

- I'm really worried, Hinata. You know how Toneri has always been charitable, energetic and with an exceptional heart. Now I feel sad because he doesn't want to talk to me. However, I don't care, I know that he will realize that he cannot be angry with his own mother. It's just a passing tantrum. He will always love me. A love between mother and child is impossible to measure in just words. Who knows, one day you may feel that, if you become a mother, of course.

He verified, giving a victorious smile, and continued his selfless speech:

- I know you've been hiding it, but ... Hinata doesn't need to be shy anymore - she said, touching my hands. I swallowed hard, trying to understand the direction of his speech - I know you have trouble getting pregnant - and forced a sad face, while, I was amazed at the amount of information it contained about me - I know how much it it's really frustrating. Toneri never hides the desire for fatherhood, does he? Of course, for an important family like ours, heirs are the effect of a successful union, the perfect perpetuation of the lineage. And besides, he is in serious trouble with the wedding ceremony. I imagine ... With your sick father, the arrival of your cousin and the threat of losing Hyūga assets, the responsibility fell on you, right? - Whispered, as if we had shared a secret - I'm sorry, really. It must be a burden to carry it alone, for fear of causing even more apprehensions to him. It is not?

- As...

- I know several things, Hinata - and gave a calm smile, leaning back in the chair, relaxed. I was in shock, without any reaction. As if only my body was there, and my soul was moving away from my body - Just like you, I have been through this type of situation. My mission is to help you, so that there is no more suffering for your poor and inexperienced heart.

- Like you...

- Sorry, you know I have a habit of investigating, or rather, the gift of weaving truths - it was incredible how she remained cynical, with that unflappable face of serenity - I was distressed. The family had expected a ceremony and an heir in the past year, but it didn't. Anyway, Hinata. I needed to say this, you need to focus your efforts on these issues and not conducting this museum. Getting lost in artistic trivia. Your duty is to watch over your home and support Toneri in your decisions.

- Kaguya - I steadied my voice, feeling my heart flutter and my eyes water. She looked at me, surprised - Please. If you have nothing constructive to say to me, please leave.

She stood up, as if I had offended her, shrugging her shoulders.

"Okay, I'll go," he said, clearing his throat. And he leaned over, taking my hand, giving a lascivious laugh - You are weak, Hinata. And I cannot allow weak people in my family.

I said, walking out the door like a hurricane, leaving a trail of disorder inside my chest.

I had completely lost everything that day. I just wanted to cry, but, I should force myself to continue that day. I wiped away the remnants of tears in the corner of my eyes, I didn't want to be shaken by it, this situation was recurrent, and I always took it away. But this time, it was like she added salt to my wound that just opened.

I sat at the corner of the table, staring at the window, trying to compose myself. Praying that melancholy feeling would pass.

[...]

- I say and repeat: how sweet to have you taking care of everything with such refinement - Mr. Sarutobi, general director of the Museum said with that satisfied smile. His white goatee and elegant demeanor gave him a warm air, although he was much more humble than he was. We walked down corridor eight, and I felt like the re-reading of Michelangelo's The Creation of Eva was watching me profusely, causing me a supernatural commotion.

"I'm really flattered," I smiled. I would never get used to compliments. Although, I strongly recognized my talents and abilities. He saw that not as a work, but as a mantra of life - Artistic language, unlike everyday language, is rich in interpretations. Painting the works according to a context, leads the viewer to vividly identify with that proposed. It is a timeless challenge to work with time and the ephemeral.

- Miss Hyūga, your artistic look is so detailed, minimalist and even thought-provoking. I loved the prepositions for expanding to a room perpendicular to the neoclassical paintings and sculptures - and turned to the side to see if anyone was listening - I don't know why Shion was upsetting me about changes in the organization of the pieces. Everything is so great!

I just smiled, feeling that modesty inside out.

- That was an idea I discussed with Sai, while we were rambling about simplicity and art, and it instantly blossomed to make that association.

Mr. Sarutobi laughed delightfully, turning a wary look on me.

- Sai has a fervent potential - affirmed sagaciously - I knew that putting you as your intern would help you grow in your analysis and make you overcome this shyness in exposing your ideas. I think he's ready, we really needed a creative mind to make up the committee.

- I am speechless, he is a great addition to the Museum - he smiles, his cheeks flushed - He can only bring us a lot of knowledge. He's too talented.

I couldn't wait to tell Sai that he was going to be part of the creative committee, while anxiety gradually consumed me.

- I'm happy Hinata, really. You are very special, girl. He always has good ideas and is constructive with everyone here at the Museum. Don't let anyone put you down, huh?

I quickly embraced him. He felt that fatherly and gentle feeling that came from him. It was too common. Shaking yourself with a simple sentence. But, I was beginning to feel the reflection of that suppressed pain echoing in my head.

When all the chaos started, I shut up these questions from my mind, as if they were everyday problems. I forced myself to be resilient, because they were a relativity of life. The doctor's words saying that my immune system was fragile and weak - started to prevail with irony in my thoughts.

Toneri and I never talked about it, not directly. Maybe he never noticed. And thank you for never having. Deep down, I didn't know anything it was just ...

What if?

The idea of ​​having children excited him. And maybe, I just wanted to please him by giving him children. Knowing that I had a hard time getting pregnant, made me feel incapable as a woman. Like your wife.

When I found out the first time, I got scared and didn't know how to deal, because I didn't know if I wanted it so much. And it all happened. Sakura gave me all the emotional support I needed and encouraged me to be true to the issues that were going on.

The second time, I didn't want to create expectations. I was excited, I wanted everything to go well. However, things did not go as planned. Finally, I stopped trying.

- Are you okay, Hinata? He asked carefully, seeing how my eyes sparkled. And I didn't understand why I got so emotional and shaken. I just knew that I felt something sting so deep in my heart, in a way I had never felt before.

"I need to go, um, take a look at the painting of Durer's Gloves Self-Portrait, in the Conservation and Restoration department," I replied robotically, with the beats beating furiously against my chest. He nodded, slightly confused and I just walked away in quick steps. Everything seemed confused and muddy. I heard Sakura's voice in the background, but I couldn't make out the words, I just wanted to run away. I think she ran after me, because I heard that shrill:

- Hinata! Where do you think you're going?

I went down the stairs to that place, bumping into people, apologizing, while I just wanted to run.

I ran to the parking lot, in a strange rush, got in my car and accelerated. I dodged cars, passed red lights, with the feeling that I was going to suffocate. I started to drive aimlessly, anywhere, to breathe, to have peace.

He must have been going crazy, or something. My body looked too tired, and went into a complete breakdown. I didn't think of anyone, I just wanted to disappear. That robotic and childlike little song played in my mind over and over. Like a broken and repetitive speaker. I felt lost, afraid, in pain, anxious and confused.

"I need to breathe, that's all, that's all," I repeated to myself, as I gazed at myself with a bored look in the rearview of my charming old blue Mini, breathing in and breathing like a mantra.

I drove, drove and started not knowing where that road would go, but my feet didn't get off the accelerator, it was as if unconsciously, I wanted to go far.

My cell phone kept vibrating. My anxiety was at such a high peak that I could not tell if that tingling sensation was due to stress or was the effect of the glass of green tea that I had taken hours ago, in a rustic cafeteria, in a small town I didn't even know. on the side of the road.

My hands were shaking so badly, it was possible that the table I was sitting on had sipped more tea than my own mouth.

Dawn colored the vast sky, which looked like brush strokes in a purplish blue gradient. I shivered, even more with the fear that was pumping through my veins, with the thought flying to Sai, Ino and Sakura, probably having to come up with an excuse for every museum committee about my disappearance.

Sai must have passed out from nervous by this time too. Or even for Toneri, collapsing when he discovered that I was gone, without even answering his calls and messages. Was I being selfish? Perhaps, I was really weak, as Kaguya said.

I drummed my restless fingers on the steering wheel, murmuring some music that seemed fixed in my brain, wondering if I was doing it right, in fact, the certainty seemed quite uncertain for that moment. In super repetitive movements that were already terrifying me. I was certainly miles away from home. The feeling of just going on, pushing me to accelerate as if there was no tomorrow.

I accelerated along that road, lined by large trees that blew a quiet breeze, allowing for a second to breathe in all that pure, refreshing all my interior, the sun setting slightly, without any type of urban noise.

I drove considerably enough, until I didn't know where I was anymore. Turning to the left, I entered a narrow lane with mud and boulders.

- No, not now! - I shouted in exasperation, and in a sudden act, I accelerated with fear that the car would get stuck due to the difficulty in driving, there were many puddles full of mud.

- There!

A crash, a groan of pain and my exasperated cry when I see that a big man with two bags of tomatoes sliding down the back of my car. Panic.

- Damn it!

I screamed through the shock as I opened the car door with my whole body shaking: a frowning man with disheveled golden hair, kneeling, murmuring disconnected things while supporting an arm in the car, slightly staggering. A trickle of blood ran down his temple, and I didn't know whether I was trying to help him or breathing deeply, in the midst of shock.

- Forgive me! - I could not formulate words and my disconnected gestures were mixed between trying to touch him, hesitating and putting my hands on my face, anxious as tears came down my face - I do not believe it? I ran over someone! Sir, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left, I shouldn't have! - The man closed his eyes before getting up, staggering. I was desperate and astonished at my confused thoughts. I tried to touch the man's shoulder, even though the gesture was the least I could do and I quickly felt him retreat by millimeters.

"I'm fine," he said finally, in an admonished tone, looking slightly annoyed. The blue eyes contrasted with the harsh appearance - Don't worry.

- I'm so ... I can't believe it! You're bleeding! - I tried to suppress a cry, seeing that I couldn't seem more pathetic than I already did.

He touched the area, seeing his fingertips colored a bright red, not looking the least concerned about it.

- It's no big deal ...

And he held me before I could fall to the floor.

- Ms? - his eyes widened, that was at least what I was able to see as my eyesight gradually blurred and his voice grew more distant - Fuck! - He looked desperate and furious, the way he bit his lip, and that's how I blacked out, embracing the tender and comfortable darkness.