Docile times

" Come on, " I yelled out as I grabbed his hands and we ran through the halls. Alice's screams of frustration trailed behind us. His grip on my hand tightened as I guided us through the crowds of students shuffling to class. " Hey, slow down," a teacher yells out. I hesitate but Jackson ushers me on " Keep going don't stop " He chuckled. I turned back to see a big smile on his face. I smile back as I turn back around and dip off into the library, his hands still in mine. I slowed down our pace as we dipped behind a shelf. I scan the area looking for our hideout, noticing someone not too far from it. We couldn't go in without risking it being seen and if people knew about it then it wouldn't be ours anymore. Lost in thought I didn't feel him let go of my hand. I let out a yelp as he pulled me back against his chest. What I attempt to get out before his hand goes over my mouth. " "Shhs "he cooed, pointing through the books. I scanned the area catching Alice roaming around the library with her trio upset and with Horribly dyed Uniforms on. I almost let out a laugh when I feel it. He chuckles softly and all I can feel was it softly reverberating on my back, His hand wrapped around my waist. It felt so natural to be so close to him. To be this close to his entire existence in a moment that should be filled with worry all I feel is peace. I stare up at him, his smile wide soft white teeth only seeming brighter against his warm caramelized skin. He was beautiful but it was always his eyes that got me. I let out a soft breath when his eyes met mine. Pure silence. I couldn't hear or speak, and all I could do was watch. From the soft fluttering of his eyelashes to what peeked beneath them. The beautiful oasis of bright oranges and soft browns. I could never explain the hold it had on me. The way it combined into a color too pure to explain." Ria" he whispered, pulling me away from my thoughts. " Sorry about that, " he chuckled, pulling his hand from my mouth." it's cool I muttered attempting to separate my body from his. When we heard a shrill scream. "Find the bitch before I break you like I'll break her" irritation shot through me as she called my name. I knew exposing her secret would make her upset but I didn't think she would be this mad. " Come on, " Jackson whispered before grabbing my hand and pulling me behind him as he ducked off behind the shelves. We almost ran straight into one of Alice's goons. We finally made it inside the hideout. I finally sat down on the carpet. Unable to quaint myself anymore I laugh. "I can't believe her, " He chuckled softly. : I can, I mean when is she not being an ass.". Finally, I replied before looking down at our hands still connected. He chuckled lightly when his eye found where mine had stopped gripping my hand tighter causing me to stare up at him, my heart beating out of my chest at the small action. "You can't do that,'' I say, attempting to pull my hand away . " do what" he looked down at me. I sucked in some air " Be overly friendly with the skin ship. I know you're used to having a guy friend but im-'' He cut me off "You're a girl, yes I know it's pretty obvious" He let go of my hand. " I - I just don't want to get too comfortable" I looked away as he sat up next to me. " Comfortable- " He stated plainly. "What does this have to do with being comfortable? You act as if we haven't slept together in this very room . .."

"That has to stop too" I cut in... " What" he exclaimed " What are you so afraid of ' he said turning my face to him. Irritation ran through me as I pushed his hand away. " Nothing," I said, attempting to stand up. I had been too close and he pulled me back down only this time I was on him, sitting directly on his lap panic shot through me. " What the hell "I growled at him. " Can you stop doing that?" He said turning me to face him " How about you stop being an ass I pushed against his chest. " Damn it, Ria. I'm not gonna know unless you tell me " pain laced his eyes as he spoke. What was I supposed to say... " Hey I'm falling for you but I know you don't feel the same." Then what? I'm just supposed to watch him leave me because he doesn't know what to do. Then I'd be all alone once again. I couldn't do that, I wouldn't do that. Yet, I couldn't help but wonder what if... what if I just told him how I feel, what if he had feelings for me and wanted to be with me but what were the chances of it. On the off chance that he did have feelings for me what then?. Would we be together? How could we do that when everyone is pinning after him? That would just put a bigger mark on my back. I bit my lip in frustration.

That's when his hand cupped my chin as he softly parted my lips. My eyes meet his seemingly similar frustration running through him. "Damn it" He whispered before leaning forward, his soft plush lips meeting mine. I Moaned out a soft release as our lips melted against each other. He was gentle and relentless as his lips claimed mine. My hand found his shirt gripping it as his right hand stabilized the kiss. I softly adjust to straddle him, allowing us both more access to each other. My hands finally took the chance to touch the chest I had felt in so many other ways. A soft moan escaped his lips at my teasing. My lips were still on his as he cupped my hips pulling me flush against him. My lips softly traced over his neck. I gently nipped at it as My name softly escaped his mouth. His eyes fluttered shut as his grip tightens around my waist. His other hand rubbed under my thighs before trailing under my skirt. A Delicious shiver ran through my body before I met his lips again and his hands gently wrapped around my neck. I released a soft whimper as he tightens his grip and tilts my head back with ease. He softly kisses my neck before nibbling at it. His pretty lips and soft tongue lapped at my neck causing my hips to rock against him. His hand is on my hips as he guides me. His eyes darken instantly as they meet mine. His gaze piercing and controlled. My breathing paused I was mesmerized " Jackson ~" I gently parted his lips as I leaned in for another kiss his eyes only met mine for a brief second before he pulled back. His eyes scanned me before he frowned and spoke" We shouldn't be doing this-I- we can't do this he said gently pushing me aside as he stood up and started pacing the room back and forth. He was talking but I couldn't focus as all I could hear was my heartbeat. What did I do wrong... Was it a bad kiss? I was confused as He went on about What friends should and shouldn't do and how he was acting like every horny teenage boy. I could barely understand as my eyes began to water. I attempted to whip it away but he got to it first as he quickly kneeled in front of me wiping my eyes and softly cupping my cheek as he spoke." Damn it... I'm sorry Asteria, I didn't mean to take it this far" I could only stare up at him as he handed me a tissue. His pretty brown eyes were somehow filled with hurt and panic. I may have been feeling things but it was obvious he didn't feel what I was and if anything at least I knew he found me attractive that had to be worth something right... " It's okay-" he interrupted

"No, it's not, I'm an asshole and this shouldn't have happened, it was an accident... You know..." "I know?" I questioned him " Yeah, I mean I haven't been active with Alice recently that's probably why..." he chuckled sourly. Irritation shot through me but I only chuckled back "Yeah ... I get it " I was lying but what else could I do. His phone alarm loudly went off "I'm gonna head to practice but... I'll see you tomorrow right.. Same place?" I smiled up at him as he grabbed his back. " Yeah... It's cool " He only smiled back before leaving me alone.

Where loneliness and confusion were my biggest bullies.