9 Chapter Seven

I wanted to check on Shinwon, but I wasn't sure how he was doing. I would have to check with the nurses or the HM before I went to see him again.

I checked on Yeo One quickly. He said he didn't need anything, but he was happy to see my face. Wow, he was just the sweetest!

It was finally time for me to see Yuto. I was quite tired from everything today. I couldn't believe I had met with Hongseok, Kino, Wooseok, and had seen everyone else.

I unlocked Yuto's door and walked in slowly. "Yuto?" I called out.

"Come in."

I closed the door and made my way to Yuto. He was sitting in the wheelchair, facing away from me. "Hey, did you get any sleep?"

"I did," Yuto agreed. I noticed he had something across his lap.

A cane?

"What is that?" I asked. "You weren't walking with it before."

"It's always been here. I just haven't used it in front of you."

"What happened?"

"Peripheral artery disease," he replied. "It's painful, hard to walk because it hasn't really been treated. Basically it reduces blood flow to my limbs."

"Oh no... do they give you medicine?" I asked.

"Yes, but it doesn't really work. I can barely walk, let alone stand. It took everything in me to stand without my cane when you and the Headmaster came in."

So that's why he was leaning on the window sill.

Saddened, I look down at his legs. "Well, I'm going to help. I'll look into the disease and see what I can do, okay? I'm sure there's something we can do besides medicine that will start to take away your pain."

Yuto looked at me and smiled softly. "That's kind of you."

"Maybe there's some walking exercises or something!" I exclaimed. "I bet we could take a walk around the institution!"

"You really think I can make it downstairs?" He asked.

"Well, we can work up to that point," I assured him. "Believe me, you'll be better in no time!"

"I wish I had your enthusiasm," Yuto replied, removing the cane from his lap and using it to stand up. He grimaced from the pain and I put my hands out in case I need to steady him.

"You got it?"

"Yes, thank you," Yuto replied. He walked over to the couch and slowly sat down. He groaned as he finally hit the couch and sat back. "That's better."

I took my place in the chair. I didn't want to handcuff him. They said it was so they couldn't attack me, but seeing as Yuto could barely walk, I wasn't too concerned.

His hair fell into his eyes as he relaxed and looked up at me. "What can I do for you, Jane?"

I opened my notebook. "I just wanna talk, Yuto." I smiled. "I also have chocolate, if you want."

His eyes widened. "I haven't had chocolate in years."

I pulled out my remaining candy bar and threw it to Yuto. It hit him in the chest and he caught it as it fell to his lap. "Whoops! I'm sorry!"

He laughed softly. "It's okay."

Yuto opened the candy bar. "So you want to know about my past, so I can heal, right?"

"Basically," I admitted. "I want to know why you're so afraid of the dark."

He went silent as he studied the chocolate, then took a small bite. "Well, my parents died when I was young, so I got put into foster care."

I wrote that down, nodding as he spoke. "I'm so sorry, Yuto."

"It's okay, I was very young. All I knew was they were drug addicts," Yuto responded. He crossed his legs, which seemed to hurt him a little bit. "Um... well, I was chosen by a family..." he shook his head and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, it's hard to talk about."

"I understand," I told him. "You don't have to tell me anything right now if you don't want to. We can talk about something else."

He stared down at his hands. "It's just... it's horrible when you don't feel like you're in control. I can't... I can't stop when I freak out. And I can't stop myself from having panic attacks when it's dark..." He looked up at me. "It's so hard. I feel so abnormal."

I slid my notebook in between me and the arm of the chair, sitting forward. "Yuto, you are not abnormal. You have some baggage, but it's okay that you're not there yet. You have had some experiences, I'm guessing horrible experiences, and that all added up. You are not to blame for this, okay? I know you feel weak, but you're not, you're really not."

He looked like an innocent kid staring back at me. "Thank you..." He eventually replied. "But that doesn't matter when you feel so helpless, you know? You can say it all you want but in the end I'm still a 22 year old who cries and has panic attacks in the dark."

I sighed. "I know you feel that way... I'm here to help you Yuto. I know you feel helpless but I'm gonna try so hard to get you out of here. And I'm gonna fix your legs, I promise."

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep," Yuto told me.

"I know. It's a good thing I really mean it."

"What if my legs... and my brain... can't be fixed?"

I looked at him and sighed. "I'll do everything I can to make sure you get back on the right path."

Yuto smiled at me. "You're a glass half full kind of girl, aren't you?"

I smiled back. "I guess so."

We decided after his session was over that I would be helping him walk on Saturday. My to do list was getting quite extensive, so I went out to eat at a nearby restaurant and started making a list.

To Do

1. Ask about the beepers

2. Ask about taking walks with Yuto

3. Ask about getting them all to meet up

4. Check up on Hui before the day is over

5. Research Peripheral Artery Disease and find some things to help

6. Buy Jinho a book

I sighed and waited for my food. I glanced up and saw someone staring at me. He was tall, lanky, young. I blinked, gave him a small smile, then turned away.

I figured once I was done eating, I would stop by a local used book store, then head back to ask all of those questions and check on Hui.

The man stayed there and watched me, but every time I looked up, he looked away. I wanted to eat as quickly as possible and get the hell out of there.

After I ate, I went to the used bookstore. Each book was roughly three dollars, so I pick up five books for Jinho. A romance, a mystery, a sci-fi, a nonfiction book about music, and a poetry book. I hoped he liked them, he said he enjoyed reading.

I hurried back to the Institution, nervous to ask the HM for the beepers and the possible meet ups. Nevertheless, I swallow my fear and knock on his office door.

"Come in!"

I did, trying to be as polite as possible. "Good evening sir. Can I ask you a few questions?"

He was looking over some paperwork, but when I ask about the questions, he set the paper down. "Sure, have a seat."

I sat down in one of the chairs and took a deep breath. "Okay... well, I have three questions. I was trying to think of a way for the patients to contact me if they need anything, and we thought maybe I could get everyone a beeper, so they can beep me if they need something."

I waited for him to say something.

"Alright... well, if you want to do that, you have to pay for it. So you'll need to figure it out. I don't want you guys using them at night though. I don't want to find out you're fooling around with any of them."

My heart skipped a beat. "Oh no no, it's just for if they need something. It'll be strictly professional."

"Okay. Then I guess the beepers are fine."

Jinho was gonna be pleased!

"Thank you!" I said excitedly.

"Mhmm. And the other two questions?"

I blinked. "Oh, yes! I was wondering about Yuto. I just learned he has a leg disease! You know his file said nothing about it, right?"

"That's odd." The HM seemed irritated. "What are you inferring?"

"Oh, nothing," I said. "But I was wondering if I could take him for walks. Like if that will help his legs, I would like to take him for walks upstairs or around the institution."

HM frowned. "Yuto has not left his room in a very long time. He cannot get down the stairs."

"But the walking could help. And I can push him in the wheelchair down the stairs. I really don't mind. Maybe him getting some fresh air will help with his mental state. I mean, them being locked up for so long without seeing the outside world-"

"I'll think about it," the HM cut me off. "I don't know if he's mentally prepared to leave his room."

I went silent, then nodded. "Alright."

"And your last question?"

"Um..." I was extremely nervous then. "Well... I was gonna ask if um... if maybe at some point I could have all of the patients meet? I mean-"

"No. It's too dangerous."

I frowned.

"I mean, we could have more people there to make sure nothing happens. And they need to talk to people." The HM shifted in his seat.

"They have you to talk to."

"It's going to harm them if they have barely any human interaction."

"I said no, Miss Whittaker. We are talking about eight mentally unstable patients. You want to get them all together?"

"They're still human-"

"I said no!" He shouted.

I stopped talking and said nothing. He breathed heavily for a moment, then sighed. "I'm sorry, I've had a long day. Let me think about it. Is that all?"

I stood. "Yes, that is all."

I left his office quickly.

I... was not expecting him to shout.

To finish out the night, I stopped by Jinho's room to drop off the books and tell him about the beeper. He was extremely happy and shocked that the HM told me we could get them. On top of that, he was giddy over some new reading material.

That type of stuff just warned my heart.

I also stopped by Hui's room, looking in on him to see how he was doing.

He was asleep.

Not wanting to seem creepy, I quickly left, locking the door behind me.

Time to go home and research Yuto's leg disease.

It had been a VERY long day.