19 Chapter Fourteen

3 weeks later...

It was early spring.

3 weeks had passed since I ran into Yanan at McDonald's.

Yes, 3 weeks is a long time, considering how much happened within the first week. I was trying to focus on getting the guys to heal as quickly as possible, but sadly, it was a slow process. The only person really making progress was Yuto. His walking was getting better.

Jinho had also told me more about his stepfather, but nothing was really showing him as an unstable person.

I was taking Hui on a walk.

"Come on, get up," I joked, pushing him lightly. He was under the covers, turned away from me. I had grown much closer to Hui. He had barely told me anything about his past in terms of what actually happened to him, but he did tell me about his teenage years quite a bit. "Come on Huiii...."

He groaned and turned over, looking at me through his dark bangs. "What are you, my wife now?"

"You wish," I muttered, smiling. "Come on, let's go! We're going for a walk!"

I had taken them for walks almost every day. Thankfully, in three weeks, I had broken none of the HM's absurd 'rules', and he had been more... warm toward me. Or at least he seemed to be more trusting of me.

"Aish... baby I wanna sleeeeeeep..."

"Okay, fine." I stood. "I guess I'll leave you alone then-"

He grabbed my hand before I could walk away. "No. Join me."

"Hui." I gave him a warning look.

"Please?"

I pulled my hand away. "No, I can't. Come on, we're losing precious time!"

Hui threw the covers off of him and groaned as he sat up. "Alright, I guess I'll go. It'll be nice to spend some time with you anyway."

I watched him as he straightened his tank top so his chest wasn't as exposed, then reached for a short sleeved, black shirt. Their laundry had just come the night before, and he didn't feel like putting it away yet. He put the shirt on, then ran a hand through his hair.

He is so beautiful.

"Alright m'lady, will you do the honors?"

I smiled and knelt in front of him, in front of his legs. He held his hands out and I handcuffed them gently. He watched and I smiled up at him.

"Wow."

"What?"

"You're so beautiful. Is that dress new?"

My cheeks burned. "Um... no. It's just getting warmer, so I decided to wear it..."

I had on a black dress with sleeves that went down to my elbows. It was form fitting, but comfy. It went down to just above my knees. My legs were exposed.

"You're stunning."

I stared up at Hui, holding his hands. After a moment I snapped out of it and stood up. "Okay! Let's do this thing!"

Hui smirked and stood.

We made our way down the steps, side by side. "So. How have you been feeling, Hui?"

"I've been good, Jane. How have you been?"

"Good," I said, smiling. I opened the door for him. He nodded a thank you, then walked outside, me following close behind.

We decided to go around the building this time. We turned left.

"How are you feeling about me? Like, with opening up to me?" I asked him. He looked at me as he thought about it.

"It's been... surprisingly easy," he tells me. "I don't have as many panic attacks now. I think it really is helping me get better."

"Oh YAY!" I exclaimed happily. He chuckled.

"Cute."

I looked away in embarrassment, but hearing him say that he felt better was amazing. Could Hui possibly leave? If he healed completely, he could be the first to go!

I almost jumped up and down. Finally! They needed to get out of here!

We walked around to the back of the building.

"Jane?"

"Yes?" I looked back at him.

He glanced around, as if looking for something, then moved closer to me. I blinked.

"Hui, what are you doing?"

"There's a camera over there," he told me, cocking his head to the far side of the wall. "But not in this corner. We're in a blind spot."

I gulped and looked at the camera. "W-What does that matter?"

He looked at me eagerly. "I think you already know."

My heart pounded so fast and loud Hui could probably hear it. "Hui, I don't want to risk my job... I mean... come on. We have to stay strong, okay? We shouldn't give in to our... our wants."

Hui bit his lip. "Alright, come on, let's go."

We walked for a little while longer. We went for another lap, and, once we got to that corner, he stopped me again.

"I promise you, he won't find out," Hui told me. "Please... just kiss me."

I looked around, worried. "I don't know..."

Hui moved closer and, while he was still handcuffed, put his hands on my face. "Please...? I need it..."

So do I.

I took a deep breath and backed up against the wall. He took this as me saying yes and immediately ducked his head, pressing his lips to mine quickly.

I gasped and immediately kissed back, putting my hands on his hips. Oh god... this is wrong... it's so wrong... but I don't care. He moaned softly and pressed me to the wall, pushing his hips against mine hungrily. It had been years upon years since Hui had kissed someone--and it had been a hot minute for me--, but I couldn't tell. He was an amazing kisser. Our lips were locked and worked together perfectly. My hands travel along his back, feeling his muscles and shoulder blades. I was so eager to finally touch him.

He pressed his tongue to my lips and I opened my mouth for him. He slid his tongue in and we both melted into it.

Wow... I didn't know I needed this so badly.

After another moment of our tongues meeting and swirling around each other, Hui pulls away. I almost followed, not wanting it to stop. He was undeniably eager for more. I breathed heavily, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Come on, let's hurry," Hui said, panting. He grabbed my arm and we speed walked up to where the camera was, then began walking like everything was normal.

I had no idea what to say. I felt so extremely guilty, but god... that was... I couldn't even think.

"You have no idea how hard it was for me to stop," Hui said softly.

"You have no idea how hard it was for me to LET you stop," I whispered back. I had been more handsy, but Hui was handcuffed. His hands remained on my face and neck. His touch still lingered. I could still feel his lips on mine.

"Okay... now that we got that energy out... we're good, right? We're... we're not gonna do it again," Hui said, but it came out more like a question.

"Nope, not again. Not until you're out, if you're still interested in me," I replied. I looked at him hopefully.

He smiled at me. "Of course I'm still interested."

"Really?" I asked. "Like, really?"

"Hey, I might have been a dumb kid before I came here, but I'm twenty six, and I want to start having an emotional connection with someone."

"I don't want you to think I'm like... preying on you," I told him. "I really do like you. I don't want you to think as your therapist I'm taking advantage of you."

"No, I know you're not," he said firmly. "But can I ask why you like me? I mean, I have PTSD. I'm no picnic. Is it just physical?"

I thought about it. "I think... yes. A big portion of it is." I wanted to tell him the truth. "However I'm very curious about you. And I want to get to know you. You're flirty, but I know that's not the you underneath. People act like having mental issues makes you a bad person, or they think it's your fault. You're a normal person Hui. You just have something that makes life a little harder."

He was smiling at the ground. "Ah... well, I'm glad to hear you say that. I... I know how it seems... but I'm genuinely... I'm genuinely interested in you. You're beautiful and smart and caring and so positive."

My heart melted. "Thank you Hui. And you're handsome and funny and refreshing. I always look forward to seeing you."

He beamed.

We made our way back to his room. I was extremely nervous. I didn't want to lose my job over this kiss... it was a mistake. It was really a mistake. But it was a mistake that felt amazing...

"Okay Hui, I'll check up on you later. I gotta go talk to Shinwon."

Hui nodded as I unlocked the handcuffs. I kept my eyes off him, but looked up once I stepped back. He was smiling.

"I'll see you later, Jane."

"Okay Hui. See you later."

I left Hui's room. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to feel happy or nervous, but I felt a little bit of both as I made my way to Shinwon.

*************

I'm in the cottage, writing down something to help organize my thoughts. I was putting them all on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being 'has not opened up at all" and 10 'ready to go'.

Jinho: 7- He never seemed too closed off in the first place...

Hui: 6- He hasn't told me about his actual incident that started everything, but he told me today he is feeling better.

Shinwon: 5- He's still scratching like crazy... but he has told me it started with his father.

Yeo One: 5- Seems very composed... but even talking about fire induces bad panic attacks...

Hongseok: 6- He told me he has some strong emotional issues... but he hasn't really told me or had a breakthrough yet.

Yuto: 7- His legs seem to be getting better, thank god... but he's still horribly afraid of the dark. He is beginning to talk about that more though.

Kino: 3- Sadly he's not there yet. He tried to touch my hand a few weeks ago, but he hasn't tried again. He even backs up when I walk into the room... it's almost like he's backtracking.

Wooseok: 6- He has not told me about his past, but he has not cut himself or done anything in 2 weeks...

Wooseok had another incident 2 weeks ago, where he cut his wrists once again. He's okay, and it hasn't happened again since then... but I wanted to make sure he could go out on his own and not hurt himself anymore.

As I'm writing things down, my phone goes off. I thought it might be one of my friends or my parents or something. I was not allowed to tell them anything about the patients, and I was always so busy so I didn't get to talk to people that often.

I look to see Yanan's name.

"Oh!" I gasped.

-Hey Jane, it's Yanan. I'm back in town. Would you like to go to dinner tomorrow night to discuss you-know-what?

I quickly responded.

-Hey! Yes, I'd love to! Where should we meet and what time?

I waited for a response, my heart racing.

-How about Capri at 7:00?

I recognized the name. That was a pizza place in town.

-Sounds great. I'll see you there!

- Great! :)

I set my phone down and smiled.

Despite my horrible nerves, today had been a pretty good day.