10 Chapter Eight

I woke up around three in the morning. The witching hour. I never liked getting up at that time because I had always been a tad superstitious.

Nevertheless, I got up and decided on a witching hour snack. I had discovered some canned fruit and some popcorn. I decided on popcorn and figured I'd be up for a while, so maybe I could do some more research and eat while I worked.

I had fallen asleep at my desk, busy researching Yuto's leg disease. He gave me the longer name (Peripheral Artery Disease), but it could be shortened to PAD. Apparently, with some exercising, medicine, and a healthy diet, Yuto's symptoms could be lessened. There was no cure, sadly. It did make me quite nervous because with this disease, Yuto would be more susceptible to a heart attack or a stroke.

I was not about to let that happen.

One thing I thought was weird was that it's usually prevalent in people over 50, but Yuto was only 22! I looked into the causes of PAD and found that smoking, inactivity, obesity, and diabetes were the main causes. But it could also be hereditary.

Hmm.

Well, nevertheless, Yuto had it, and I would try my damnedest to make sure he recovered as much as he could.

I put the popcorn in the microwave and walked away after turning it on. I wanted to come up with a schedule because I felt as if yesterday was hectic. Before that however, I needed some fresh air. The cottage, while it was nice, could get quite stuffy.

I breathed in the cold, early spring air eagerly. Ah, that felt nice. This place was really so beautiful, even though the people here seemed a tad shady. I remembered what Hongseok said about quitting. I wanted to dig, and I mean... I could quit, but I already felt responsible for the guys, so I wouldn't leave without them leaving with me.

I was about to walk back inside, but just as I turned, I heard distant screaming.

It was definitely coming from the Institution.

Who the hell is that?! Why are they screaming?!

I hurried inside to grab my coat and throw some pants on, not wanting to walk in there in a t-shirt and underwear. I also grabbed my phone, just in case I had to make a call.

The person was clearly screaming 'NO!'. I rushed to the front doors of the institution and pushed them open. I had been quite nervous, feeling a bit like an intruder.

But one of the guys was in trouble!

I started running toward the stairs, but before I could reach the top, HM put his hands up.

"Miss Whittaker! What are you doing here?"

I stopped, eyes wide. "I heard someone screaming! I wanted to make sure they were okay!"

HM sighed and started down the stairs, holding my elbow and turning me so I could follow. "I'm so sorry to wake you. Kino is having one of his episodes. It's quite normal and hard to control because he gets worse when he is touched. We just have to wait it out."

I looked at him in confusion. "You didn't wake me, and what? Why is he having an episode? He's scared of being touched. Did someone touch him?!"

"He also has PTSD," the HM told me. "He has these episodes when he's sleeping sometimes. He relives his past... it's quite sad. I hope with your help, he can heal."

I mean... I guess that makes sense... but I felt so bad!

"Do you think if he saw me it might help?" I asked. "He seems to really like me. I'd like to see him."

"I'm sorry, it's just too dangerous. During his episodes he tends to lash out," the HM told me sadly. "It's only been a day or two. We should wait until he knows you a bit better."

I frowned, but nodded. "Alright."

"Again, I'm sorry. Sometimes you'll hear them screaming or having an episode."

"Hey, can I ask you something, sir?" I started as I wrapped the two sides of my coat around me and crossed my arms. "Hui seemed to be having an episode yesterday afternoon. Why didn't anyone come upstairs to treat him? I mean, I'm perfectly okay with comforting him, but if you're so on top of things, why didn't you help him?"

The HM did not like being questioned. "It is normal for Hoetaek to break down, he does it often. We do not treat him when he is only crying."

"Do you guys have cameras in the rooms?"

"Yes, we do."

I nodded. Why hadn't I asked--or known, for that matter--about that before?

"So you saw me comforting him today? And that's how you saw Shinwon go after me?"

"Yes, we saw both, and yes, that is how we knew. Plus you yelled for help."

Does that mean he saw Wooseok and I...? Oh boy.

I was silent. Well this was a development.

"Alright, why don't you get some rest, Miss Whittaker? Tomorrow you'll be meeting with the A Patients." The HM had walked me all the way to the door. I could still hear Kino's screaming and it broke my heart. I wanted to help him...

"Am I allowed to see Shinwon tomorrow?"

"Yes. We will monitor your session closely."

I nodded, not wanting to leave but knowing HM wouldn't have it any other way. I turned to go, and, just when I thought I was in the clear, I heard him say: "And next time, let someone know when one of the patients hurts themselves. Another incident like that and you're out of here."

I turned and gulped. His beady eyes were squinted and he seemed to be a bit amused. I nodded once, then hurried from the Institution and back to the cottage.

My heart raced. Oh my god! He knew! And they have cameras?! Isn't that violating their privacy?! And aren't our sessions supposed to be confidential?! Could they HEAR us?!

I sat down on the couch, feeling guilty, upset, angry, and sick to my stomach. I... I couldn't leave. I couldn't leave them here to fend for themselves.

I was trapped.

*************

The first thing I did the following day, even before I went to meet Jinho, was I checked on Kino. I wasn't even sure if I was supposed to, but I was feeling extremely guilty for not putting up a fight. I mean, if I did, I might have lost my job, then I wouldn't even get the chance to help them.

I unlocked his door and walked in, calling out his name.

"Come in Jane."

I did, walking in. He noticed the concern on my face. "Jane! What's wrong?!"

"Are you okay?" I gasped.

"Yes, I'm okay." Kino's hair had been messy and sticking up in every direction. His white shirt was big on him, so it hung off his shoulder, exposing his prominent collarbone. He blinked at me innocently. "Did I worry you? I'm so sorry!"

I was amazed how he had made this about me. "Oh no no, it's okay honey. You're completely okay. I just heard you had something last night and I felt guilty for not being here to help."

"You called me honey," he said.

I blinked. "Oh, did I? Sometimes that just slips out."

Kino smiled at me. "You're so sweet. Do I get to meet with you today?"

I felt my heart melt a little. Wow, he had a smile that would light up ten rooms, not just one. "Well, your session is tomorrow. Would you like me to stop by after I'm finished with the other sessions?"

"I-I would like that."

He was a tad red. I laughed softly. There was this twinkle in his eyes... he's really genuine. "Okay Kino, I'll make time for you."

"Awesome," he replied, grinning. "Also, I'm sorry if I'm acting childish... I'll try to stop. I-I'm just not used to... to people being nice to me."

His words broke my heart. "How could anyone not be nice to you?"

"Well..." he cleared his throat and shifted nervously. "I just... when I was a kid... things happened to me. And I know it's weird that I don't like being touched... but really, there is a reason. It's just... any way I was touched in the past was negative...and I never really knew what it was like to be treated well..." He pressed his palms to his eyes to stop himself from crying.

I felt no need to write this down. For one I would remember, and this was a heartfelt moment. I didn't want to be rude.

"Well, I'm gonna treat you well, and I'm sure the others will too, okay?"

He nodded, the tears running down his face.

"If I could I'd hug you right now," I said, smiling at him. I was touched. He laughed softly.

"I'm sorry I'm so emotional, I don't know what's gotten into me!" His tears flowed like waterfalls. I wanted to comfort him but I wasn't sure how.

"It's okay to be emotional," I told him.

"I-I feel so weak!"

"You're not weak," I said, frowning slightly. "Just because you have emotions doesn't mean you're weak. Just let it out."

Kino rocked back and forth and cried. You have no idea how much I wanted to hold him like I did with Hui, but that was the last thing I could do with Kino.

I stayed the whole time he cried. "It's okay Kino, this is a good thing. It means you're feeling the emotions and after you confront them, you can move past them."

"I'm not good at moving past emotions," he said. "I've always cried and I'm very sensitive."

"Me too," I agreed.

He looked up at me then. "Really?"

"Yes," I said, laughing softly. "I am a very emotional person. I cry at everything!"

Kino smiled. "We have something in common."

I smiled back. "Yep. So don't insult yourself, because that means you're insulting me too." I was being lighthearted. Kino chuckled and wiped his eyes.

"Oh no, I guess you're right."

I stood. "Alright Kino, I have to go meet with Jinho. I will see you in a few hours."

Kino nodded happily. "Okay Jane. I can't wait."

I smiled and he blew me a kiss.

My eyes widened, but I pretend to catch it. He grinned. "Bye Jane."

"Bye Kino."

I left Kino's room with a smile on my face.