A New Beginning
The morning sun gently kisses my eyelids, coaxing me awake to the soft hum of a new day. With a contented sigh, I stretch beneath the warmth of my covers, relishing the quiet stillness that enveloped our home in the early hours.
As I stir from my slumber, my thoughts naturally drift to my children - Madison, the early riser daughter, and Avery, my sweet boy who often lingered in the embrace of sleep. It was a pattern we had grown accustomed to, Madison's lively energy filling the house long before Avery's gentle presence graced us with his waking hours.
Yet, as I rouse myself from bed and make my way to the kitchen, a subtle shift in the morning routine catches me off guard. There, in the soft glow of dawn filtering through the windows, stood Avery. His silhouette, usually a fixture of tranquility in the depths of sleep, now illuminated by the early light, seemed oddly out of place.
Surprise mingled with curiosity as I watched my son, a faint smile playing at his lips as he busied himself at his desk. It's a sight I had not anticipated, Avery taking the lead in greeting the morning while Madison remained nestled in the comfort of her dreams.
As I observe him, a wave of maternal pride washes over me, mingled with a touch of uncertainty. What had stirred Avery from his slumber so early? Was it merely a fleeting anomaly, or the beginning of a new chapter in our morning routines?
With a fond smile, I approach him, the gentle rhythm of his breathing a comforting melody in the quiet of the morning. As he turns to greet me, his eyes bright with newfound energy, I couldn't help but marvel at the mysteries of parenthood, and the ever-changing dynamics of family life.
"Mom."
Avery's voice breaks the morning silence, his presence a surprise before his sister Madison's usual awakening. His eyes held a glimmer of excitement, I'm still shocked at the fact that he's the one awake.
"I had the most amazing dream last night."
He begins, his words tumbling out eagerly.
"It was my birthday, Mom! Everyone was there, and we had a big party with balloons and cake."
I'm intrigued by the excitement on his face.
"But Avery, y'all birthday isn't for a few months. Why are you thinking about it now?"
Undeterred, he's pressing on, his curiosity piqued.
"I know, but it got me wondering. When is our birthday, Mom? Madison and mine, I mean."
My heart swelled with affection at his innocence.
"The birthday is on May 15th, Avery,"
"It's still a little while away." He nods eagerly, seemingly committing the date to memory.
"May 15th... Got it! Thanks, Mom," he chirps, already envisioning the festivities to come I guess. I'm always happy to see these kinds of excitement from my kids, these joyful smiles , they make all my problems go away.
As Kattie Johnson, I can still feel the weight of that night pressing against my chest, even now, six years later. Back then, I was still Kattie Smith, trapped in a marriage with Bradley, a man who shattered my trust with his serial infidelities. The final blow came when I walked in on him and our house help, their betrayal staining the very fabric of our home.
I remember the raw anguish that consumed me, the desperate need to escape the suffocating confines of our shattered marriage. That night, I made a choice – a reckless, impulsive choice born out of pain and desperation. I stumbled into a bar, seeking refuge in the numbing embrace of alcohol.
And there, amidst the dimly lit haze of the bar, I met him – a stranger whose name I can barely recall. In a moment of vulnerability, I sought solace in his arms, seeking to drown out the agony of my shattered dreams with the fleeting promise of intimacy.
In the aftermath of that night, guilt and regret gnawed at my soul. I had succumbed to the lure of temporary oblivion, heedless of the consequences that would ripple through my life in the years to come. But amidst the wreckage of my past, there emerged a glimmer of light – my twin blessings, Madison and Avery, the precious souls born from the ashes of my broken marriage.
As I reflect on that turbulent chapter of my life, I am reminded that even in our darkest moments, there is hope. And though the scars of the past may linger, they serve as a reminder of the strength and resilience that lie within me, guiding me forward on the path to healing and redemption.
Looking back on those tumultuous months, I know that I was saved by Grace. I suffered a lot of emotional trauma , more than anything. My financial situation went from bad to worse, I had to work very hard without any support.
Most people would judge me , saying I was supposed to be patient with my husband and forgive like a good wife and let things be but that wasn't me. I've always been the woman who chooses peace. And that marriage had started not to provide that for me.
I chose my mental health. I doubted my decisions though , I won't lie. I used to get tempted to try and work things out with him but all that subsided completely when I found out I was pregnant!
It would have been a different case if the baby was my husband's but the timing was against that thought. A stranger had knocked me up. It took me three long months to realize I was pregnant, each passing day fraught with a sense of disbelief and overwhelming solitude.
But even if I had known from the first week, it wouldn't have changed the reality of my situation. I was adrift in a sea of anonymity, the nameless stranger who had left his mark on my life forever beyond my reach. I didn't have a name, a number, or even a face to cling to – just the weight of a growing life within me, a silent testament to the choices I had made.
The very next day after the reckless night, fueled by a newfound determination, I returned to the house – the scene of so much heartache and betrayal – and packed my belongings with a steely resolve. Unknowingly with Madison and Avery nestled safely within me, I sought refuge in the promise of a fresh start.
I rented a one bedroom for myself. I wasn't used to living in a small house anymore but I didn't have much choice , so I had to learn again. My mother didn't approve of me moving out of my marital home , leaving my husband but she eventually gave in and tolerated my "not so convincing" reasoning in her eyes.
Divorcing Bradley was a painful ordeal, a bitter testament to the wreckage of our once-promising marriage. He fought tooth and nail to hold onto what little remained of our shared life, unwilling to relinquish his grip on the empire we had built together.
In the end, I walked away with nothing – no material possessions, no financial security – but I carried with me the most precious gift of all: the freedom to chart my own path, unencumbered by the weight of his betrayal.
It wasn't an easy journey, navigating the treacherous waters of single motherhood while rebuilding my life from the ground up. But with Madison and Avery by my side, I discovered a strength within myself that I never knew existed.
I may not have had much, but I had everything I needed to create a future filled with love, resilience, and boundless possibility. And as I look into the eyes of my precious children, I am reminded that no matter how dark the night may seem, the dawn of a new day is always within reach.
Four months pregnant , my savings were drying up ,my expenses kept piling up. I had crazy cravings to pay attention to. My clothes were getting smaller for my drastically growing belly , I needed to change my whole wardrobe. I had stopped being a classy wife who wore heels almost everyday because my feet were swollen most of the time.
Two weeks later , I got a call from one of the places I had dropped my CV at. It was a coffee shop , they needed a waiter for the daytime crew. I couldn't be more grateful for the day's working hours because my "morning sickness" unusually, used to occur at night. I might as well say it was night sickness.
Working at the coffee shop marked a turning point in my journey as Kattie Johnson. Despite the challenges I faced as a single mother-to-be, my boss's kindness became a beacon of hope in the midst of chaotic life. I remember the warmth of his smile, the genuine concern he showed for my well-being, even in the most trying times.
On my birthday, my very first birthday as a divorced woman, my boss surprised me with a gift that touched my heart in ways I never thought possible. He insisted I take the day off, urging me to prioritize my health and the well-being of my unborn child.
But it was his gesture of generosity that truly moved me – he handed me an envelope containing enough money to cover the cost of an ultrasound for my pregnancy.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I accepted his gift, overwhelmed by the depth of his compassion. In that moment, I realized that kindness knows no bounds, transcending the barriers of circumstance and hardship.
My boss's unwavering support became a lifeline, a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there are people who are willing to stand by you, offering a helping hand when you need it most.
It was literally the first testimony that I experienced first hand that people you don't know can hold you down.
As I left the coffee shop that day, clutching the envelope tightly to my chest, I felt a renewed sense of hope blossoming within me. With each step I took towards the clinic, I was filled with gratitude for the kindness of strangers, and the promise of new beginnings that awaited me just beyond the horizon.