1 Prologue

Edited.

/E L I J H A/

*Past*

"Mama!" I yelled as I ran towards the door. I unlocked the door and ran out of the house to greet my mother who had gone shopping an hour before. "Mama!" I called again, this time she looked up and smiled at me.

"El!" She yelled and opened her arms so I could hug her. "Baby, you shouldn't run out of the house like that. You could get hurt."

"Sorry, but I missed you!" I yelled excitedly. "What did you get me?"

"I'll let you have your toy in the house. Now help Mama with the groceries, please." She smiled and grabbed bags, she handed me the lighter ones. We walked inside to see my Papa feeding little Ella. She was about three months old at the time, I thought. "Thank you, baby."

"You're welcome!" I yelled. That startled Ella a bit and she began to cry. My Papa looked at me and shook his head, he had a slight smile on his face and my mom burst out laughing.

"I'm going to go wash my hands and I'll be right back." She giggled at my Papa and then walked away. When she came back she took Ella from Papa and then proceeded to calm her down. "El, your toy is in the yellow bag, could you ask Papa to get it for you?"

"Okay," I whispered and then dragged Papa to open it for me. I smiled when I saw the new action figure that I was begging her to get. "Thank you, Papa and Mama." I hugged their legs and then ran to the living room where all my other toys were.

I remembered that was one of the best days of my life.

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*Present*

My worst day was when my Mama walked in on me masturbating to gay porn. She didn't say anything and walked out. We didn't speak much that day. Then there was a cute boy in my school and he liked me back. We began dating after three months of talking to each other. No one really knew about it except my best friend Elizabeth Goldsmith.

She was an amazing person and friend. She was the first person I came out to and she was so excited and told me that she already knew I was gay because of her gaydar. Whatever the fuck that was. She met my first boyfriend, Kevin Longwell, and was a bit annoyed because he was a "jerk". I didn't care, I had someone that liked me back.

We had our first kiss on my seventeenth birthday and I was so happy. I wanted to wait until I was sure that he was good enough before I moved to third base, and thank god for my thinking because about two months later, I found him kissing a twink. I was pissed and heartbroken. Elizabeth was beyond pissed and decided to get revenge by fucking up Kevin's car and then exposing his cheating ass to the whole school. Let's just say that Kevin moved away the month following. I kinda felt bad, but at the same time, I didn't.

Then when my Mama found out about me dating a boy and she started to ignore me. My Papa was understating because he had gay friends in college but Mama was religious and believe it was a sin. Well, my grandparents installed the idea that homosexuality was a sin. Mama didn't disown me or anything but she made it seem like I didn't exist, which hurt even more. I would see her playing with my little sister and when I walked to her she would get up and leave the room. I stopped trying to talk to her. We lived in the same house for another year and didn't speak to each other.

When I was eighteen, I saw college as a chance to escape and I took it. I asked Papa to send me some money for it and I would make up the rest on my own, I just didn't know how. I got by three years with my part-time jobs and my allowance from my Papa. Papa and I rarely talked but when we did, all I wanted to do was run back home but I couldn't, more like I didn't want to.

I guess I got my stubbornness from my mother. Yes, I didn't call my mother, Mama anymore. I felt like she didn't deserve it.

Now that I was in my fourth year of college, I needed quick money. All I had to do was find a job that paid more than the convenience store that I worked at. Hopefully, I won't have to drop out and go home.

Hopefully.