37 Guilt

Angela heaves long drawn out sobs, tears streaming down her face. What have I done, she thinks to herself, her face buried into Lenara's chest. Many sobs later Angela has finally recollected herself somewhat, at least enough to speak.

"I... I didn't mean for this, I didn't know..." Though she says this, even she doesnt believe it, she had meant to kill them, although she hadn't known about the innocents. She had wanted every last one of them gone for what they had tried to do. It might have been while her reasoning was blurred by anger but the base thought was still there.

Despite not believing her own words she still grasps at anything she could, trying to make herself believe that it was not her fault, anything to shove away the blame and responsibility, though she knows that it is unhealthy and unfair to do so. Things like "I didn't know that there were children" and "It was them who attacked me first" are repeated over and over as she tries to indoctrinate herself into that belief.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, her attempt fails; she cannot shake the feeling of guilt. One side effect of her babbling, however, is that her sobs have completely subsided; replaced with a heavily depressive aura.

And so they sit there, Angela attempting to come to terms with herself while Lenara softly strokes her hair, cooing gently. Time becomes irrelevant and it is only when her stomach begins to mumble that Angela even realises it's passing. It is at this moment that her thoughts clear, as if a fog has been lifted from her mind, leaving a crystal clear lake behind.

Only by living on can she repent for her acts, she must strive to become better, to not devolve into the monster from her nightmare, to carry on in spite of those that could not. This is the thought that echoes through her mind, almost as if it is not her own.

No matter the origin, it was a step forward. A path that she could take and at this point she is open to anything. With newfound purpose Angela finally manages to raise her head, wiping the tears off of her face. Seeing Lenara's delicate and caring expression, an unknown feeling starts to well up in her heart, something she hasn't felt in a long time; not since her parents passed away.

Of course she loves her siblings but they could never support her truly, she was the 'inheritor' the one that was meant to be supporting others, the one that was meant to shoulder the burdens. This is different, this sort of unconditional support despite her weakness was foreign to her.

Gazing deep into Lenara's eyes, Angela feels an overwhelming urge, a tidal wave of instinctive emotion that swirls around inside her. It is a feeling that is impossible to resist and so she doesn't even attempt to, instead she embraces it fully, her arms enveloping Lenara's neck as she goes in for a kiss.

At first Lenara is so shocked that she doesn't respond but she quickly comes to her senses, responding with an even greater passion. The two only seperate when they run out of breath, Angela sheepishly grinning with her entire face flushed scarlet.

A sort of unspoken connection has formed between the two of them, a bond that is unshakable. It is almost as if they can tell what each other is thinking, though there is no actual telepathic link. After a short pause the two agree to take it slow, they had plenty of time to explore each other and there is certainly more important things to see to, such as the teleporter and the mountain island core.

Angela pauses for a minute, confused slightly by her rapid change of emotions but dismisses it, turning her attention to the drone that has just arrived. In its hands are the scepter used by the leader of the goblins, the one topped with the liquid stone orb. Now that she is closer a popup appears, it is in fact what she was looking for this whole time.

[low grade earth core: Supposedly the blood of a planet, earth cores allow the user to gain the ability to condense anima into various special earthen materials. Consume to unlock low grade earthen materials.]

[consume? yes/no]

Angela selects yes and the orb is absorbed into her body just like the rest, leaving behind another popup.

[absorption complete, various materials added to the earth category of the creation menu, +1anima/h, total 12 anima/h.]

Perhaps these new materials would be of help to the creation of the teleporter, but even if they are not Angela is sure that she will find some sort of use for them.