4 Chapter 4- The Day He Passed Away (Edited)

-6 years ago- -hospital-

It's been a month since Zhuang Guo was diagnosed with the terminal stage pancreatic cancer. The cancerous cells spread rapidly and medication had failed to produce any effects on recovery. Shi Xue had suspected something weird because he recently had an operation where the removal of the cancerous cells in his body was a success.

Under her care, he was recovering healthily with the diet plans and sufficient exercises. There were some urgent matters that she had to attend to in her father's place and that lasted for approximately a week. When she came back, his condition suddenly worsened and the cancer relapsed.

Treatment was no longer effective, and doctors could only prescribe high doses of painkillers to minimize the amount of pain he would feel. Still, his face looked ghastly pale and his breathing was shallow. She rushed over immediately after her flight had landed.

When she got there, she walked in quietly with tears in her eyes that didn't fall out of her eyes. She knew her father doted on her the most and would feel more pain if he saw her cry. She sniffled and looked up to the ceiling a few times before settling down on the chair by his bed.

Her gaze gently observed the pale figure on the bed whose breathing seemed to grow thinner every second that ticks by. She noticed the gray portions of his hair along with some visible strands of white hair on parts of his head.

His body became so skinny that her two fingers could wrap around his wrist and still have some space left. She didn't dare hold his hands too tight as it would disrupt his sleep. The eye bags under his eyes were deep, and it seemed to take him a lot of strength to inhale as his chest rose slowly and sunk back down heavily.

Before she left him for the week, his palms were warm like regular days. Now, it felt lower than room temperature, and she had to rub them to maintain its warmth. She was deeply afraid that it would continue getting colder.

His arms showed visible signs of many needle holes, most likely from the blood extractions that they needed for labs. She remembered the night where she found him lying in cold sweat whimpering in pain in a fetus position on the floor. After admission, she witnessed the nurses bringing large, long needles that needed to be inserted into his body without painkillers.

She remembered holding onto these strong hands and crying in his place as he maintained a smile for her to see. The layers of sweat beads on his forehead were clear evidence of pain, yet he refused to shed a tear in front of her. When he couldn't take the pain anymore, he would squeeze her hands and let some tears flow out of his eyes. It was unbearable, and he could barely make a word out of his mouth because of the pain.

But now, this man no longer had his eyes opened to look at her nor had the strength to smile anymore. As she quietly held onto his hands, she sensed the decreasing temperature of his body. She panicked as these symptoms did not match what the doctors had told her. She pressed the emergency button multiple times and shouted for assistance.

She called out to him and cried, "Dad! Dad.. please wake up and look at me. You said you would be waiting for me to come back. I'm back now. I'm back. Your little Xue is back. Open your eyes. Don't sleep. Don't scare me anymore."

She sobbed with her forehead on his hand, "I already don't have a mom… I only have you.. Please don't leave me alone. You can't leave me too…You can't. I'll be a good girl, and I won't ask for anything else, but your health. So, please..."

She choked on her words as doctors rushed in to perform another round of body check up on him. Multiple doctors entered the room as she walked in circles mumbling comfort words to herself that everything would be alright. Approximately half an hour later, the doctors walked out of the room to tell her to expect the worst within the next hours to come.

They informed her that his condition had severely worsen and she should say whatever that she wants to say to him while she can. With the help of some medical liquid, they were able to wake him up for a little while so that it could buy her some time to say goodbye to him.

Upon hearing their words, she ran into the room and firmly held his hands. She watched his heavy eyelids open and once again, his gaze met hers. She forced a smile, but her tears were streaming down her face already. He said in a low voice, " Don't cry, daddy's little Xue is the bravest. Dad really wants to see your sweet smile that always cheered me up the most. My little Xue looks the most beautiful with a smile on her face. Can you smile for me?"

She quickly wiped the snot and tears using her sleeves and turned to him with a smile. She tried her best, but her smile immediately broke down as she placed his palms against her cheeks, "I..I'm sorry. I can't.. I can't smile. I don't want you to leave me..What can I do? What should I do?"

His thumb moved slightly and managed to wipe away a few drips of tears from her cheeks. He started humming in a rasped voice and sometimes mumbling some parts of the lyrics to the first song from when he met his late wife. Shi Xue understood his meaning and sang along. Though it was out of tune, she sang until his voice grew weaker and weaker.

He stopped, as his voice could sing no more. He smiled as he listened to Shi Xue sing the rest of the song as flashbacks played in his mind. He mouthed the words, "I love you," as he breathed his last breath.

That night, in that room, a teenage girl brokenheartedly sang by her dad's deathbed as he closed his eyes and fell into an endless slumber. When she finished the song, she knew that he was already gone. Yet, she continued to hold onto his hands and cried, "I'm willing to exchange my youth for his health. I'm willing to do anything for him. ..Anything… dad..as long as he's healthy again...please.."