2 Chapter 2

I hurriedly went down from the stairs of MRT station in quirino, manila.

"excuse me, i need to pass by." i saw a woman watching me intently as i politely excuse my self.

I don't even care if i am going to collide someone by my hurry actions. I don't also care if they came earlier than me, then!

The more important for me now is i need to get hurry so that i can attend the important event for this day.

I need to run fast because i only have twenty minutes left before i could get late to the appointment.

I won't miss the chance to be part of this event, really. This would be the first step of my career if i would be the one to be chosen later.

I wouldn't waste the chance to grab this opportunity for myself.

I was in a hurry to take my bath early in this morning when i woke up and then this things happened! Shit! this is really annoying! Oh god!

As i woke up this morning, i immediately went to the bath room to take shower and for my morning routine and after all, im still late? This is kinda pissing me off!

I cursed so many time this day. God! Pardon me.

My god! What kind of life do i have?

Well honestly, i don't really need to get hurry on taking my bath but i just want to hurry myself because i was thinking about the casting that i'm going to attend for today. But then,...

Aside from the weather was a little bit cold, i think i can bare to take my shower even if it seems like that.

All my body felt too much cold after i poured some water from the top of my head till down to the tip of my foot.

Actually, i don't stocked gasses on my boarding house because i don't have enough extra money to buy that thing though.

I sighed.

When i'm going to survive this kind of life? This life is kinda pathetic! It seems like someone cursed me. Until when i'm going to suffer from all of these?

I know someday, i can reach for what i'm dreaming of. And surely, i can have my own huge bathroom with heater on it, a bath tub and a walk in closet.

I made a daydream again for myself. It's not like i'm crazy and it's not bad afterall. It is even inevitible actually to think of some positive things for my future one of a time.

Like what mostly people said, having a dreams for yourself is not that bad. Giving encouragement for yourself is one way of pursueng your dreams either.

So for me, i would encourage myself, so that i have the confidence to pursue for my dream.

I won't stop dreaming.

Everyone one has a dream. We have our own dreams in life.

And for me, that is the simple dream i have for now, and hopefully one day i can reach for that.

I sigh heavily for the thought.

I have a note where i listed all the things that i wants to buy someday.

This dream is all i wanted for my future especially for myself.

I can surely reach for that if i can arrive earlier to that go-see event.

If i wold arrive on time before someone replace me there, the i could have the chance to be chosen and to be one of the role model.

Mostly of the woman who will attend the event are surely beautiful.

I'm sure this time they're already there inside the hotel where the casting held.

If i would be the one to be chosen and then after i can also be a part of some of their castings and photoshoots, for sure i would probably earn enough money and i can start my good life.

I let out a deep sigh that finally i can go out from the vanity of MRT.

I have so many thoughts about some negative things on my mind.

So many "why's " and "what if's".

So what if that so. I have already come a longer way in my life since from where i came from.

I've encountered some difficulties already but i have successfully overcome all of those.

Do i need to loose all my hopes this time? After of everything i've been through?

NO. Off course! I'm just starting to build a new life so why would i?

My life has changed a lot and from that changes, i learned to build my dreams.

I used to live in an orphanage and managed my own life there that sorrounded by

unknown people.

I didn't had the chance to meet my biological father and even my whole family as well.

What i remembered was one from the social worker in our town took me from our house because i've been crying so much because of hunger.

I didn't know exactly what really happened to my mother. But there were some informations about her that i only remembered. And it was just a few.

I was at the age of five when that social worker took me out from my mother.

I remember how they took me that time.

I had a lot of bruises from different parts of my body and got also some scars as well.

My mother kept on shouting the police officer together with the social worker who picked me up.

My mother didn't have the capability to raise me enough that's why they took me from her.

That's all i remembered. After that incident, i didn't get the news about her.

Meanwhile, i didn't stay longer in the orphanage. Especially after they forced me to study.

I escaped from there. I went away and lived in some streets anywhere else.

When i learned how to earn money, i used to work hard and accepted different kinds of job to have an income.

I once terminated also from my job due from being absent most of the time or even if i was late.

And sometimes, i leaved suddenly from my job without any prior notice mostly when i feel like they treated me like a robot. And i can't do something but to do my job very well.

As i reached the age og eighteen, there was something that i discovered for my self that changed me.

I got the chance to access the record of my identity including my family background.

Looking at the papers in front of me, is a short but officially stated written about the information of my family.

Father-no mentioned name.

Mother-well known as a prostitute and addicted to drugs. Didn't attemt herself for rehab. Dead due to the overdose of taken drugs. Died at the age of twenty three.

The short statement on that paper that stated the information about my family background has given me the reason to raise myself alone from fallen.

The woman who slapped me oftenly came accross my mind.

And that woman was my mother.

My mother who gave birth on me and gave me a chance to kive in this world.

It hurts me big time to think how i experienced some difficulties from her.

What should i do then?

There's nothing i can do about it but to accept.

My mother didn't stay usually inside of our house.

She left me inside and let me cried from hunger. Let me eat some left foods from the neighborhood that caused of my sickness.

My mother who only loved herself alone rather than her own child.

The child from blood and flesh.

I admit that growing up alone with so much hatred towards her wasn't that easy.

The only woman whom i can only remembered how she shouted those police officer.

"you son of a bitch don't take my child!"

"pardon madam but we need To take her. You can't raise or even take good care of her. We recieved some reports from you so you can't do anything for this." i heard as the police officer answer my mother

"no stop this! . Keep her with me!!"

That's the only thing i remembered. She didn't take good care of me literaly.

The only thing i can give her is hatred wherever she is right now.

I have long accepted that i don't have mother any longer.

This acceptance gave me the thought that having a good mother wasn't really meant for me. And that's true.

I put back my attention again on the paper where i was now holding.

It took me a while before it process everything on me bout the information of my mother's background.

It is also stated inside the paper her personality.

Shocked was very evident on my face as i read the papers.

My lips turned into grim line and much as my red face for the anger.

I closed my eyes intently for a while before i start reading.

Father-no mentioned name.

Mother-a street prostitute. Alcoholic. Dead by car accident at the age of twenty. And daughter taken into health care center

I crumpled the papers from my hand. I felt cold after reading the information which written on the papers.

Both mothers who neglected their child. The same ways of life.

My grandma who was prostitute and alcoholic. My mother who was prostitute and alcoholic as well.

The same personality. And got the same cause of deaths.

I raised my head from the documented papers lying in front of me.

I swear, i won't do such this kind of behaviour.

I won't be an alcoholic like them!

I won't let be a prostitute either like my mom and grandma.

I can decide for my own life and will take the right path for me.

Shit! I will not let myself to be like them.

After i made up myself, my thoughts cleared with so many things.

And that thing is i had to stay away from drugs and alcohols.

I know that those are the reasons why my grandma and mom became prostitutes.

They let any man used them so that they can provide their needs.

How pathetic the life i had.

They sell their bodies to buy drugs and alcohols.

Sex too. I also need to avoid that stupid thing.

That is one of the reason why i came out from this world.

If my mom controlled and stopped herself from doing it, this whole shitty things of my life wouldn't happen.

If she hadn't sex with any man, it is certain that i am nkt probably here to where i am right now.

I am also certain that i would never experience this kind of cruelty in life.