One: The man in my dreams

I felt cold. My body shivered as if I was having a fever. The blankets did little to ease my discomfort, nor did the heater which stood only several feet away from me. I curled myself into a ball, helplessly trying to warm my body. I can hear my teeth chattering and when I breathe it felt like ice had been shoved down my throat.

I was dreaming, that I know. The same dream I had ever since I was 9. It comes once a month or a year if I'm lucky. But no matter how many times have passed, I always knew when it came back.

I suddenly felt a warm hand on my back as it touched me gently. Never straying too high or too low down my body. The hand caressed me in a relaxing rhythm that I felt the coldness drifting slowly.

"Krista.." A voice whispered.

I did not respond. I knew who it was. Even before he called my name, even before his hand touched me. I knew it was him. My Lucian.

"Krista.." He called again. This time right down my neck. His breath sent bolts of excitement thru my limbs. I was no longer cold, I was so warm I could burn the whole bed. I started to stretch and open myself to him.

I felt his weight shifting, he was now in bed with me. His arms slid across my chest and twisted my body so he can pull me against him. He never did that before. Yet I did not object. I felt my body relaxed in his embraced.

"Have you missed me love?" He whispered still. As if we were meeting secretly and we didn't want my parents to find out. "Speak to me Krista.."

I wanted to. God knows how I wanted to talk to him. To return his embrace and meet his eyes. Alas, I cannot. This I know after dreaming of him again and again. The moment I speak or open my eyes, he would disappear.

I lifted my hand and touched his shoulders, he liked that. I moved my hand higher till I reached his cheeks, he liked that too. Under my hands I traced his face, feeling his warm skin and fresh grown stubble. I felt him smile, I couldn't see but I knew he did.

He let me touch his nose, his eyes and his thick brows. I imagined he was dark haired and his eyes were blue. With his stubble and chiseled jaw he looked like an exotic lord with a heavy dark hair that reached his nape. He'd be handsome. And I have no way of ever knowing if it were true.

"Krista.. look at me. Look at me as I looked at you." God , even his voice was sexy. If I'd never see the man and only hear his voice I'd totally fall for him still.

My silence must've flustered him. His hands soon returned the caress and boy, it turned me nuts. Fist he traced my back with his left hand. It traveled up and down as if he was measuring me. He finally stopped and found my stomach. It was flat and well-toned, because I was an athlete.

"You've grown Krista. Your body has become a woman." He said this with a small laugh.

I wanted to take his hands and bring it elsewhere just to prove how woman my body has become. But I couldn't move anymore, he'd cast a spell on me. A spell far more painful than death. He'd let me feel his touch but won't let me do anything about it.

But despite the inability to move, I found pleasure. He was slowly bringing his hand up towards the swell of breasts. I gasped. I wasn't wearing anything under my shirt. And his hand managed to go underneath. He never did that before as well. What's the difference now? I wouldn't know and at this moment, I don't really care. Pretty soon I felt my nipples react to his touch and they ached for more.

"Do you want me to stop...Krista?" He teased and touched. That's very much like him alright.

I wanted to shake my head but I still couldn't move. He began stroking my ear with his mouth.

"Come to me love. Let me show you how I can make you happy. Just say the word... go on.. say it.."

His hand was travelling downward this time. Way, way down. I wanted to stop him, I wasn't prepared for this. Even in my wildest dreams I hadn't thought he'd be so bold. What drove him this mad? Or perhaps, I am going mad.

I felt him undo the zipper on my shorts. That's odd. He wasn't supposed to be able to do that in a dream, this is all an illusion after all. Did he have some kind of power over dream now? Instead of worrying, I began to feel excited. He's getting bolder and bolder each time. Do I care? Deep inside I knew it was wrong, but I had waited for him for so long. And he had too, right? This is why he's now touching me the way a lover touches his woman.

But I wasn't his lover. I stiffened at the thought. He loved someone else before. He must've mistaken me for her. That's why he'd been so bold now, after feeling my body had grown to a woman's and perhaps similar to his lover's body, he thought he can have his way with me. But he won't.

I tried so hard to lift my hands, thankfully I was not under the spell anymore. I pushed his hand away from my thighs before he could do more damage. I felt him resist, his eyes stared down at me. If looks could kill, I'd be drowning in my own blood now.

"Do you deny me now Krista? After all these years we've been together?" He said this with obvious irritation.

Hell, I should be the one angry here. How could he take advantage of me this way? After I have cherished and cared for him, this is how he repays me? By forcing himself to me?

"I will not take you by force Krista." Was he reading my mind? "Just let go.. you will enjoy it." He'd placed his hand again on my thighs.

If that wasn't enough to seduce me, I don't know what else could. I began to relax again, with his warmth I wouldn't care what happened anymore. He must've felt it too, because he started kissing my neck. Oh sweet lord! How can this man be so good that it felt sinful just to feel him. I wanted to turn my head and meet his lips, but the voice inside my head wound its way up, gathering enough consciousness. With all my might, I slapped him.

The connection was shocking. His body swayed off me, completely taken by surprise. I heard him curse in a language I couldn't understand. For a moment silence enveloped us. Neither one of us moved, I thought he was fading and I was waking up. I almost opened my eyes to see.

"You may deny me now Krista.." His voice sounded firmer this time. Unlike the voice he used to seduce me. "But next time, you won't. I know this and you know it too. I will take what is mine!"

"No!" I screamed. And I was awake.