166 Plans #166

"Ok... now where the hell am I going to get those metals...?" I muttered, sighing as I scratched my head, staring at the list of all the bullshit comic book metals I recalled.

The first and most prominent was Nth metal, which Hawkman and Hawkwoman used. It's known for being super durable and having mystical properties capable of stopping gravity and allowing the user to fly.

It wasn't a bad first option to start my research, except for the tiny teeny detail of it being native to Thanagar, as in the alien planet full of bird people in deep outer space.

There were samples on earth, but they belonged to the Hawkman and Hawkwoman, and I don't think they would be in a sharing mood after I almost killed the latter.

The only other source I could think of is Intergang because they dabble in alien bullshitry, but It wasn't guaranteed. Still, it was worth looking into, especially since I might have to deal with Ugly Manheim eventually, not to mention all the other toys I could, ahem, commandeer.

Then there was Intertron, which is said to be the "ultimate material in the 30th century." Though supposedly indestructible, it's been, well, destroyed a shit ton of times. Another common trait of the so-called "indestructible" metals.

It's as inconsistent as you'd expect from a comic book bullshit metal as it would stop Kryptonian powerhouses in their tracks sometimes, only for a shmuck like Karate Kid to show up one day and break that shit in half at others.

I don't think it's available in the current timeline, and its inconsistency makes me think it's not all that it's cracked up to be, which is why I immediately scratched it off the list.

Moving on to three aptly but weirdly named metals, we have Marvelium, Supermanium, and Promethium, created by two superheroes I'm confident you could guess, and some guy whose name isn't even Prometheus, which was a little disappointing if you ask me.

Marvelium, created by Captain Marvel, is supposed to be one of the world's strongest metals, so strong that only Captain Marvel can mold and shape it. It's also supposed to be impenetrable, even to mystic beings.

As far as I remember, it was more of a plot device to counter an overly overpowered enemy, but it still seemed strong enough for me to include it in the list.

Besides, Billy Batson was one of the most friendly and easygoing human beings on the planet, and he might even share if I asked nicely and explained why I needed the metal.

Supermanium was another Superhero creation, and I'm sure you could guess its creator. That's right! It's Squirrel Girl! Just kidding, if Squirrel created a metal, she would call it Hyper Furrium or something along those furry lines.

All jokes aside, Superman forged the metal in the heart of the sun, whatever the fuck that means. Its most famous uses were for Superman's indestructible Supermobile (for when he loses his powers or when the toy companies need to sell toy cars) and the gigantic door and key that protected his Fortress of Solitude.

Superman also used it to create prisons to detain the likes of Lex Luthor and Brainiac, but it disappeared from the comics after a while, so I'm not even sure it exists. Still worth looking into, so I'll investigate it.

Once again, here's another strangely named metal that's really, really strong; Promethium. Steve Dayton, Beast Boy's stepfather, created the metal and named it after that one guy in Greek mythos who gifted fire to humans, only to get cursed for eternity for his valiant effort.

Promethium was one of the most durable and dangerous metals on my list of bullshit comic book metals, and it came in two shapes, depleted and volatile.

Depleted Promethium was durable enough to tank even hits from the big blue boy scout, and I don't need to tell you that shit is impressive, not to mention it was consistent in its performance, unlike its weirdly named cousins.

However, Volatile Promethium was just as durable, but with a little twist, weaved into it. You see, it contains enough energy to power entire galactic civilizations. And if you're up for a firework show, you can turn it into a bomb capable of destroying the universe.

Yes, the entire universe, and I refuse to elaborate.

Finally, here's a prime example of slapping a sci-fi word in front of a regular one and hoping it would mean something, which sums up DC writers' naming sense; Quantum Steel.

It's supposed to come from an alien who happens to be a native of the Quantum Realm, and it gives superpowers somehow. That's all I knew about it, unfortunately, so I had no idea how to get some to experiment.

There are other bullshit comic book metals in this world, but they were downright impossible to attain, like Amazonium, which Hephaestus used to create Wonder Woman's bracelets.

I'm definitely not going to go to Wonder Woman and ask her to share her god-given gift (literally) with me, and I'm not about to try stealing it either, for obvious reasons.

'I don't want to get pegged by a hot, angry amazonian goddess... or do I...?' I mused, pausing as I imagined the scene for a second, only to stop a second later as I got goosebumps.

Yeah, I'll have to pass.

So to put things into perspective, I'll need to take out Manheim and his Intergang to see if they'd have any of the good stuff, track down Billy Batson (Captain Marvel) to ask for Marvelium, and investigate a bunch of shit to find the rest of what I needed.

'Me and my big mouth...' I sighed, feeling a strong urge to bang my head against the closest flat surface, and only refrained because I didn't want to put a dent in my hideout's walls.

Either way, I'd have to take out Waller first and do it quickly before she does something funny again because I had no idea what the fuck she'd be up to next.

She already used a city-toppling alien to try and get me, and I didn't want to find out how she would go about outdoing her already impressive performance. Because let me tell you, I was 99% sure she could.

Luckily, she has Logan. I don't know why she thought I'd care about that piece of shit, but I could use him to buy some time. I guess I'll have to pretend I care about that sad waste of oxygen when she inevitably tries to extort me with his worthless life.

If Waller thinks she has leverage on me, she'd be less prone to do crazy shit, and I was more than willing to give her that illusion and humor it if that meant I wouldn't have to deal with another Brimstone or worse anytime soon.

I was getting good at this whole scheming and plotting thing; If I do say so, myself. I was honestly worried about how naturally it came to me, and it wasn't something I liked doing, but it was necessary, and beggars can't be choosers.

First of all, I had to know whether Harley and Lady Vic were still on board and convince them otherwise if that's not the case. Then there's the matter of keeping them and Deadshot alive.

In the latter's case, he didn't need any convincing, so I gave him something he could use to protect himself that conveniently acted as a bug in case he needed my help or had a change of heart. You never know with those kinds of people, after all.

I planned to do the same and give the two unladylike ladies something to protect themselves and keep an eye on them because I didn't want to get caught with my pants down.

Yeah, I have trust issues. How could you tell?

Then there's the matter of tugging on the strings that needed to be pulled to start the trial and end it as soon as possible, which I'd need to grease a couple of palms and spend a lot of money to accomplish.

I still had my dirt, and I could use that, but the people involved in the case weren't the type I wanted to screw over money, so I might as well take the path of least resistance, even if it pained my wallet and money-grubbing heart.

And finally, to get the trial over with as soon as possible, I needed more people to testify against Waller. Preferably two heroines who willingly worked for the Task Force X director.

'Yeah... I'm not looking forward to the last one...' I bitterly mused with a grimace as I scratched my head, recalling my last encounter with Nightshade and my less-than-kind way of saying no.

...

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