13 Chapter 13: To feel.

"Well you look like you have one foot in the grave Amos." I sighed heavily at the familiar voice of Jara. She was A fellow vampire although she was much lower than me in rank. She floated to the ground and sauntered about proudly behind me.

" I told you not to call me without title and without using my house name. Worst of all you see I'm in no mood to humor you; So do you have a death wish Jara?" I didn't necessarily hate this girl but she was always so uncomfortably informal and overly familiar with me. Only Eva, she was the only one I demanded informality from.

"But why; Have you forgotten our passionate nights together already?" I felt her hands worm their way over my shoulders until she hugged me at the neck. Did I always find this woman's touch so repulsive?

"How unpleasant. Just because I bedded you a few times doesn't mean We're close; let alone that I am or ever will be in love with you." I grabbed her hands by the wrist and as if throwing away garbage flung them off my shoulders.

I could hear her fangs clack together in irritation; She coed.

" So cruel; But that is what I love about you Amos. Your body must be lonely by now; Let me warm you this night." Her voice was surly meant to be seductive however there was nothing in it that called to me in the least. All I could think of and see was Eva turning away from me in rejection whilst I confessed. She didn't have to say it, I could see it in her eyes before she looked away. I clutched my chest as a crippling pain seemed to stab my heart and burn my lungs. Confusion, irritation and pain took absolute control.

" Amos.." I turned around reflexively and slapped Jara without restraint; Her head turned with a loud click and she fell to the ground still. I stared down a her petite frame coldly.

"You are so persistent; Jara I have a wife." With in seconds of that statement her head repaired its self with a snap. She sat up her short pink hair a disheveled mess; She pursed her pink lips as she eyed me with displeasure.

" You didn't even check to see if I was okay! " she huffed; I rolled my eyes carelessly. Why would I check if she was okay? It's not as if her life was in any danger.

"And who is this wife?! You didn't even invite me to the wedding?!" She said it with an edge of disbelief.

"she is my unofficial wife; and to be frank I would never invite you to my wedding Jara. You'd without fail ruin the whole occasion just by being there." I could hear Jara giggling as she shuffled to her feet.

" So she rejected you.." I could hear the mocking and teasing roll off her tongue as she spoke; She was certainly testing my patience tonight.

" How does it feel knowing you can't always have what you want Amos?" I felt another sharp pain in my chest and I could feel my eyebrow twitch in irritation.

"Beside what do you mean wife?" Her words suddenly reminded me of what Eva said in the ally when I called her wife. She was so needlessly angry..

" you don't have a wife." Jara words suddenly over lapped with the image of Eva's face, when she looked at me with so much anger.

"She isn't your W-" I impulsively grabbed Jara by the throat and impaled her with my hand through the stomach.

"I'm warning you for the final time. Say anymore and I will rip out your heart!" My breaths came out in pants, I wasn't even sure why I panicked. Why was it when it came to her I couldn't keep calm?!

"To late for that Amos you stole my heart long ago. " she cackled and spit up blood; she reached a weak hand up to touch my face and I released her in revulsion; She stood blooded and cocky. I went to pull out my handkerchief and frowned; The one I had pulled out was Eva's.

"Oh that's cute. It doesn't really suite you though. " Jara chose that moment to depart leaving me to stare at the cloth morose.

I laid my heart bare to her and was completely crushed. What was this feeling? I buried my face into the cloth and cried. How pathetic was I? I've had limbs broken, even a whole leg torn off and nothing; But this- this soul crushing feeling of having your existence denied by the one you desire most; Is what gets me?! I could feel the madness welling up deep within me. Oh Eva; my sweet elf. you leave me forlorn and in despair; It seem's it was not you but me who was punished this night.