1 Should have stopped myself!

I don't clearly remember the first time I saw u since I was small but all I do remember is I had fallen for u,And that to hard! I don't even know if u even liked me or not thou u were someone off limits I didn't care and wanted u close to me, even if we didn't talk the joy of you being around me in the same house was enough to make my heart beat fast. I clearly loved the feeling of even talking about u thinking of u and even dreaming of u i would try so much hard to imagine scenarios of us being together at night just so that I could see u in my dreams cause sometimes it felt so real! The first time I noticed u seeing me was when I was getting ready for some party in Grandma house in a room combing my hair and u walked by when I dropped my comb bend down to pick it and saw u staring at me and you walked off as soon as I saw you seeing me! I thought to myself that I did look ugly since the clothes I wore were not to good as I was only a teenager and brushed it off. We all went to the party u in another car and me in a cab with the other cousin i thought to myself that i wouldn't care to much about u and pretend to be non interested once we arrived at the party and that's exactly i did and didn't even click pictures when u asked everyone to pose for a pic just turned to the other sides, Me and my silly attitude! i thought u were so cool and like had so many girlfriends which u did have a girlfriend! But everyone do feel it in there gut when someone is attracted towards you and i did feel like u were attracted to me! But even knew that u had the same attitude as me may be even more and wouldn't even come talk to me! I knew i shouldn't have any feelings for u and far as I know it wouldn't lead me to any good but does anything we want go accordingly! I flipped and regret everything i did after this.