16 Chapter 14 I got caught by the FBI
I am currently sitting inside a jail cell. It's a stone room barred off from the outside with iron bars. Well, [Great Sage] is picking up trace amounts of magisteel mixed in with them as well, but you get the idea.
A dwarven guard walks into the room where my cell is located, I presume to talk to me and question me about what happened. He opens his mouth, but I quickly jump in.
Rimuru- "Officer! I'm sorry! I didn't know she was 3!"
Guard- "… What?"
Rimuru- "I mean sure she looked a LITTLE young but cut me some slack!"
Guard- "No, what are you talking-"
Rimuru- "I barely even touched her! Come on!"
Guard- "Stop! What the hell are you talking about!?"
Rimuru- "… What are you here for, exactly?"
Guard- "I have to question you about what happened at the gates!"
… I knew that.
Right, what happened at the gates. I'll have to go back a bit to explain.
(A wee Flashback-no-Jutsu…)
So there was this whole thing with getting into line and getting "harassed" (gotta plead my case) by some thugs.
So I transformed into a Spatium Star Wolf (Not that I told him the wolf species I transformed into) and floored the Mob gang with [Lord's Ambition]. I didn't bother controlling it too much either, so it hit everyone else in the line as well. I mean, half the reason I did this was that it's taking so fucking long for the line to move. But if there's no line in the first place… do you get the idea?
Mob gang is now on the floor unconscious while everyone else in the line is scared shitless. Like, literally shitless. They no longer have any shit in their body because they expelled it all right then and there. How do I know? Well, it's times like these I curse skills like [Keen Smell].
Rimuru- "Ueugh…"
Anyway, that happened and the guards ran from the gates to where I am at the end of the line and find out what the hell is going on. And so they find a meat bun. I mean, they also found me, but they focused on the meat bun first.
…
After a while of staring at the meat bun, they then look at me who turned back into my slime form and took me in.
As a prisoner of course.
Honestly, this wouldn't have happened if I had my human form… but OG Rimuru only got his human form after eating Shizu… I mean, granted, she asked for it, but what should I do? I can save her with my skills, but SHOULD I is the question…
Wait, can't I just make a human body with [Limited Creation] and eat it…?
Meh, too much thinking. I'll leave that to the future me.
And yeah, after a few more minutes, I finally find myself in this cosy jail cell.
And then the world exploded.
(Chakra reserves depleted, Flashback-no-Jutsu end.)
Rimuru- "And that's basically what happened."
Guard Captain- "Hmm hmm, I see… The world exploded, eh…?"
During this talk, I learned he's in fact the guard captain, not just any guard. I remember this event in the original series but I don't remember WHO this guy is. He wasn't exactly relevant after all…
Sorry! (Not really)
Rimuru- "So you're the guard captain, right? I still don't know your name either."
Guard Captain- "Eh? Oh, I'm Kaido."
Rimuru- "Kaido, eh? I'm Rimuru."
Kaido- "You got a name? That's pretty rare."
Rimuru- "Yeap. You know, I bet this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship (not really), have a meat bun!"
I just want an excuse to give this guy a meat bun. If I do, he'll probably let me off sooner than later. And so I used [Limited Creation] to make a meat bun before handing it to him with my outstretched slime hand-thingy.
I mean, I don't have fingers, but for some reason, I can "grab" onto things. It's kinda weird, and I only just realised it now for some fucking reason holy shit I CAN DO THIS!?
*Ahem*
He didn't eat the meat bun. What a heretic.
He then asked me about my background. We both know this isn't really needed, so I just made up this crazy tale about this guy who ate meat buns so much he turned into a meat bun.
Over time, he grew curious about what this "meat bun" is. He looked at the meat bun I gave to him that he put to the side with curious eyes. I mean, I gave him food out of nowhere, it's pretty suspicious. But even he can't escape from the allure of the meat bun.
So he picked it up, took a bite, and now there's this light effect coming from above him making it seem like he's enlightened or perhaps descending from heaven or something.
The light is a bit lacklustre for something like this though…
*Slam!*
But suddenly, the door behind him slammed open and another guard rushed in.
Guard- "Sir! An armorsaurus appeared in the mines!"
Kaido- "Well? Did you take care of it!?"
Guard- "A suppression force has been sent, but some of our miners have been attacked. They're pretty roughed up!"
Oh! I know this! This is the part where I step in, right?
Rimuru- "Oi, Mister Kaido! I got some healing potions on me. You can have some!"
I take (or vomit) out some potions I made from the hipokute herbs into an empty barrel nearby.
Kaido- "Eh? Why does a slime like you have potions?"
Wow, what happened to me being a human male that turned into a meat bun guy story? I swear, some people…
Rimuru- "That doesn't matter now, does it? This is some of the good shit- I mean, this is some high-quality stuff. Either drink it or pour it directly onto the wound, anything's fine!"
Kaido looks at it, debating on what to do, before turning to the guard.
Kaido- "… Oi, you. Get that barrel and let's go."
Guard- "Eh!? You're trusting this slime!?"
Again, what happened to the meat bun guy story?
Kaido- "We don't exactly have a choice! Come on!"
Saying that, he opens the cell door, the guard rushes in and grabs the barrel, and they both walk away. But just before they disappear, I yell out one last time.
Rimuru- "Oh! And that's some pretty potent stuff! Make sure you use it sparingly!"
Man, I sound like a fully-fledged drug dealer! Good job me!
(A/N: Disclaimer, MC never did drugs. Neither did I. Drugs are bad, too much work. Procrastination is best.)
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Name: Rimuru
Race: Origin Slime (Highest Tier Spirit)
Protection: Crest of Space
Title: None
Ultimate Skills: [Illya, Heaven's Feel]
Intrinsic Skills: [Infinite Regeneration] [Universal Shapeshift] [Universal Sense]
Unique Skills: [Great Sage] [Predator] [Limited Creation] [Rune Master]
Extra Skills: [Control Water] [Lord's Ambition] [Thought Communication] [Shadow Motion]
Common Skills: [Poisonous Breath] [Paralysis Breath] [Sticky Thread] [Steel Thread] [Drain] [Ultrasonic Wave] [Body Armour] [Keen Smell]
Tolerances: [Resist Temperature] [Resist Melee Attack] [Cancel Pain] [Resist Electricity] [Resist Paralysis]
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A/N: A guy made a discord server. Join it or something, idk...
https://discord.gg/ephtQTTdxt
MC: Damn, a guy made a discord server? Why couldent you make one yourself?
AN: Can't be fucked doing it. I'll let someone else do it.
MC: Ah yes, procrastination.
AN: *Nods sagely* Procrastination indeed.
