15 Nuxturia

There were a lot of steps, and I could tell that Sophia was struggling. She was still recovering from the fight on the Dragon Train, so Briggo just picked her up and carried her up in his arms.

When we finally reached the top of the staircase, I was already beginning to sweat. I thought that I was in pretty good shape for a delivery truck driver, but in terms of being a magical adventurer, there was room for improvement.

The staircase led us into an enormous dome-shaped room that was just as magnificent as the rest of the palace. When Animak saw that Briggo was carrying Sophia, he asked if something was wrong.

"I'm fine, Your Highness," she replied. "Just a few bumps and bruises from the fight on the Dragon Train."

"I see," Animak said. "I am so grateful to all of you for protecting the people of Animakistan." Most of the voluptuous women had followed us back up the stairs, and Animak now turned to one of them.

"Aphrodesia, please summon the doctor. Have him examine this young lady before dinner."

Aphrodesia was the tall, blue-skinned woman. She smiled and bowed, and then she instructed a girl with elven ears to call the doctor. Briggo put Sophia down and Aphrodesia helped her into one of the adjacent side-rooms.

"I'll go with them," Blair said. Truck-chan wanted to stay with us, but since she couldn't take part in what we were about to do next, she reluctantly went along with the girls.

"That's right, my friends," Animak said. "It's time to drain our snakes. You, young man, what was your name again?"

"Birito," I answered. "Uhm, Your Highness, Sir. My name is Birito."

"Birito! That's a great name. Come, follows us. Since you're a friend of Briggo, I'd be happy to drain snakes with you."

I tried to think of a way to refuse politely, but it didn't feel like I had a choice. One of the men in purple robes ─ the only one who hadn't spoken yet ─ looked at me with bulging eyes. He had messy, unkept brown hair, but other than that he didn't have any features that stood out. He was the type of man who would easily blend into a crowd.

As Animak and Briggo walked towards another side-room, chatting casually as they went, I followed close behind. The man with messy hair walked alongside me, and then he whispered something in my ear.

"I can't believe this," he said. "You've only just met the Emperor, and you already have the honor of draining snakes with him?! I've been in his service for ten years, and I've never been granted such a toe-tingling privilege."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I hate you," the man whispered.

"What are you talking about?"

"Sir Hyde," Animak called out.

"Oh yes, Your Highness!" the man with messy hair replied in a high-pitched voice. "Sir Hyde Ing is at your service, as always! Shall I accompany you to the water closet?"

"No, that's all right. Please just guard the door. I want complete privacy as I drain snakes with my friends."

Sir Hyde's facial muscles began to twitch, but he tried to maintain his composure. "Yes… yes, of course, Your Highness. No problem… no problem… at… all."

As we entered the bathroom, I could hear relaxing music, and I could smell the scent of lavender. The entire room was lined with beautiful marble tiles, and the ceiling featured a massive mural of Animak riding on the back of a dragon.

"You like it?" Animak asked when he saw me looking up. "It's symbolic."

"Really?"

"Yes, it symbolizes the size of my snake."

I didn't know how to react to that, so I just nodded and smiled nervously. Thankfully, in that very moment we heard something.

"Welcome!" someone said. I turned and saw a man standing in the corner. He had a long pointy hat, colorful robes, and a wooden wand.

"Who's that?!" I asked.

"I am the Great Jordanio from the Magical Land of Oklahoma!"

"That's our toilet wizard," Animak said. He approached one of a dozen pristine urinals and unbuttoned his royal robes.

"A what?!" I asked again as Briggo took up his position to the right of Animak. I chose the urinal to the right of Briggo.

Animak chuckled. "Ah, it's always refreshing to meet a new isekaii. Everything is so new to them, isn't that right, Briggo?"

"That's right," Briggo replied, and I could already hear his powerful stream flowing down the urinal.

"You see, Birito," Animak explained, "we don't have modern technology in this isekai world, although here in Animakistan we are definitely working on it." Animak's stream began to flow as well, and it was just as vigorous as Briggo's. "But what we do have is magic, so instead of a complex plumbing system, our friend Jordanio takes care of the waste."

As Animak spoke, my own stream finally began to flow, although it wasn't as boisterous as the streams of the other two men.

Suddenly, the toilet wizard began to chant. "Poopity, peepity, poopity, peepity, poopity, peepity," he repeated over and over again, waving his wand through the air. And then something strange happened. As my pee trickled down to bottom of the urinal, it began to disappear, as if a hole had been ripped in the fabric of the universe.

"Whoa," I said. "My pee… it's vanishing."

"That's our Jordanio," Animak said. "Efficient and dependable."

"It's incredible," I whispered as I continued to drain my snake into a magical hole in the time-space continuum.

"Hey, Animak," Briggo exclaimed. "Where is Prince Gozen? I'd love to see him again."

"Oh, you know my brother. He can't stay in one place for long. Right now he's off on an expedition, searching for the mythical Island of Jaspa."

"Jaspa? Isn't that just a legend?"

"I know, it sounds crazy. A floating island with untold riches and magical secrets that no one can ever seem to locate. But Gozen found an important clue in the Library of Barrixandria, and now he's out there somewhere, in the vast Setting Seas."

Briggo and Animak chitchatted for a while as I stood next to them and did my business. They talked about old times and brought up references that I didn't recognize, so I just nodded along and rolled with it. When we were done, we caged our snakes and turned around.

"Thank you, Jordanio," Animak said. We proceeded to wash our hands in pre-prepared ceramic bowls filled with water.

"My pleasure, Your Highness."

"Don't worry, my wizard friend. The engineers of Animakistan will learn to recreate modern plumbing soon, I'm sure of it. Then we'll put your magical abilities to better use."

"Oh, no problem at all," Jordanio said and smiled. "In my native land of Oklahoma, hardly anyone has running water. I feel right at home here, Your Highness."

"Wait," I said. "Isn't Oklahoma a state…."

"Pardon me for interrupting," Sir Hyde called out from the doorway, "but dinner is served in the Royal Dining Room."

"Excellent!" Animak exclaimed. "My friends, let us feast!"

Sir Hyde escorted us into a large and beautiful dining room. As soon as we entered, the strong scent of food assaulted our senses and my mouth began to water. Animak sat at the head of a long table filled with copious amounts of food, and Briggo and I sat in the chairs closest to Animak. The girls joined us shortly thereafter, and so did the Springle Elf named Lubo.

Truck-chan sat right next to me, and Sophia and Blair took their seats across from us. Lubo sat quietly at the edge of the table. The cat-women were no longer wearing their warrior outfits from before. They were now dressed in comfortable tracksuits with three white lines running along the sides just like Truck-chan's, only the color of their tracksuits was green while Truck-chan's was pink.

We were all starving so we began eating right away, and the four Men of Culture that we met earlier joined us for the meal. All of them seemed like perfectly nice people except for Sir Hyde, who kept giving me weird shifty looks throughout the entire meal.

Truck-chan and Blair ate a ton of meat as usual, and they were happy to try anything and everything on the table. Since I was less adventurous, I satisfied myself with purple fish meat that tasted like salmon, some leafy green vegetables, and what I hoped were mashed potatoes. Overall, the food was excellent, and once we were finished Animak told us that dessert was on its way.

Unfortunately, Briggo insisted that we didn't have time for such trifles, so instead of serving us dessert the royal servants took us into an adjacent room, which was Animak's Imperial Study.

This room was full of books and bookshelves, charts and maps, and ancient-looking scrolls and parchments. There was a circular table in the middle of the room, and we all gathered around it.

"Young ladies, you hail from Nekonia, don't you?" Animak asked the cat-women.

"Yes, Your Highness," Blair answered. "We were soldiers in the rebellion. The entire nation is grateful to you and the soldiers of Animakistan for helping us defeat the Veganists."

"Yes, thank you very much," Sophia said and bowed.

"Our pleasure," Animak said. "The Cult of Vegina is a dangerous group that had to be defeated. I'm so sorry for everything that your people have been through."

Blair nodded. "Thank you, Your Highness." Blair was giving Animak her best sad-and-yet-somehow-still-sexy kitten look. "While the Veganists were in power, they forced us to eat a plant-based diet and made us drink nothing but soy milk. We would have died if not for your help."

"It was terrible," Sophia agreed.

"But that's why we're here now," Blair said and smiled. "To express our gratitude to the Slavic Adonis, and to be at his service from this day forward."

Animak's face lit up when he heard this. "Oh, well, it was my pleasure to help. I shouldn't tell you this because it won't be made public until next week, but the nation of Nekonia and the small island of Tsun are going to formally join the Animakistani Empire. The negotiations were finalized just a few days ago."

"Oh, that's wonderful," Blair said. "With your protection, the Veganists will never rise to power again."

"Precisely."

"You really convinced Tsun to accept this?" Briggo asked. "They're always so standoffish."

Animak nodded. "They acted like they hated the idea at first, but they came around eventually."

"Your Highness," Blair said, "if you'll have us, Sophia and I would love to stay here in the capital and make ourselves useful to the Empire."

"Really? That would be wonderful! You can both join my Mentorship Institute for Lady Friends. We have an entire wing of the palace dedicated to it."

"It would be an honor," Blair said and bowed, and Sophia looked like she was about to say something, but in that very moment Sir Mudan rushed through the door. He had left us after dinner and had only just returned.

"Your Highness," Mudan called out, "we received important information from the criminal we caught on the Dragon Train."

"And?"

"It seems that the Agents of Chaos are just hired guns. They were paid off by someone else to conduct today's attack, and more attacks are likely."

"Who hired them?"

Mudan shook his head. "This Davie guy has no idea. That info is above his paygrade."

Animak nodded. "Thank you, Mudan. Is the army mobilizing?"

"Yes, Your Highness. But if I may speak freely…."

Animak signaled with his hand for Mudan to continue.

"I am a bit concerned about our finances. With all the large building projects under way throughout the nation, and with our recent expansion into Tsun and Nekonia, I don't know if we can afford a large-scale mobilization."

Animak rubbed his chin. "I see. What do you suggest?"

"Perhaps we should pause some of the larger building projects for the time being?"

"No, the people need jobs, and important public works will boost morale. We'll raise funds from the Imperial Benefactors. Start with Lord Langert, Lady Jenn Marie, Lord Youbee, Baron Luisillo, and Lu D. Crisfunds. They're always happy to help."

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Crisfunds," Briggo said, "that's the hostage from the Dragon Train."

Animak's face suddenly tensed up. "What?!"

"Lu D. Crisfunds. That's the name of the hostage."

The Emperor seemed concerned. "Briggo, what did this hostage look like?"

"Elderly gentleman, well dressed, well groomed. Very polite."

"Oh, thank God," Animak said, and he seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. "I mean, thank God that he's safe! Sir Mudan, thank you for all your hard work."

"My pleasure," Mudan replied. "I'll reach out to the benefactors immediately." He bowed and took his leave again.

Briggo proceeded to recount the entire story of the hostage situation to Animak. As they spoke, Truck-chan and I walked around the room and studied some of the more eye-catching objects. I was especially interested in what appeared to be a map of this isekai world, complete with a legend that identified key locations and landmarks, including the Ancient Tower, Nekonia, and Slavograd. In fact, there was another major landmark right next to Slavograd, but I didn't have time to look it up because Animak called an end to the assembly and escorted us out of the study. We were taken to another wing of the palace, where our rooms had been prepared.

We were given some time to wash up and rest before our journey continued. I was hoping to have the night to recuperate, but Briggo insisted that we needed to locate Nuxanor as soon as possible, so just an hour is all we got. I enjoyed the large, luxurious bedroom as long as I could, and then we were all summoned again.

We met up in the antechamber of the throne room. It was me, Briggo, Truck-chan, and the cat-women, along with Animak, and two of his Men of Culture. Finally, that competent Springle Elf was there as well.

I recognised the Men of Culture as Sir Johnny and Sir Hyde. By this time we were dressed in colorful tracksuits that were provided by the palace staff. Briggo wore a huge golden one that was barely big enough to accommodate his massive frame, mine was blue and much smaller, and Truck-chan still had her pink one (and she was still using it to show off her cleavage).

The Men of Culture wore purple tracksuits, Blair and Sophia were still in identical green ones, and even Animak ditched his crown and royal robes for a more unassuming look. Animak's tracksuit was white, and the vertical stripes on his tracksuit were black, as was the double-headed dragon emblem on his chest. Lubo was the only one who was still wearing his normal clothing, the green Springle Elf uniform.

"Godspeed, everyone," Blair said. "I'll miss you." She looked at me and gave me a suggestive smile. Blair and Sophia were only there to say goodbye. Sophia was still injured, so her and Blair were staying at the palace until Sophia could fully recover.

"They're making me take Hyde and Johnny," Animak said to Briggo, almost apologetically. "I told them I didn't need any help in dealing with Nuxturians, but the Imperial Council insists."

"Yes, Your Highness," Hyde said. "Those Nuxturians are wild and unpredictable. We can't risk any harm coming to you. In fact, I think we should bring even more men, just in case."

Animak waved this off. "Nonsense, Hyde. Oh, and we're also bringing the Springle Elf ─ Lube ─ since he has important information about the Tek invasion."

"That's Lubo, Your Highness," the elf said. "With an 'o'."

Animak ignored this. "Let's get this over with."

"Please be careful, Your Highness," Blair said to Animak. "I'll be awaiting your safe return." As she spoke, her voice seemed to transform into a gentle purr.

"And I will be waiting for you," Sophia said, but as she spoke it was clear that she was looking at Briggo, not Animak.

Animak grinned. "Don't worry, beautiful ladies. We'll be back before you know it. Now, Briggo, shall we take the normal route? It's two days to get around the wall, and another two to reach Flexington."

Briggo shook his head. "We don't have time for that. We have to take the other way."

"Yes, yes," Animak said and sighed. "I knew you'd say that. All right men, let's go."

Blair and Sophia waved to us as we entered the throne room and left them behind in the antechamber. The throne room was a vast space with high ceilings and towering stained-glass windows. As it was nighttime, the only source of light were tiny magic orbs that floated around us as we walked over a long red carpet and up a set of steps.

The throne stood at the top of the steps, and it was tall and imposing, but the throne wasn't our destination. We followed Animak and the Men of Culture beyond the throne and across the room until we reached the back wall.

"Make it happen, Johnny," Animak said.

"Yes, Your Highness." Johnny rolled his hands into fists, and then a bright teal aura began to rise from his body. As Johnny squeezed his fists tighter, the aura billowed and took the form of a woman.

"Artasia," Johnny said. "We need to get to the other side of that wall."

The woman nodded. She was a tall redhead with bright teal eyes. She wore black stockings, short shorts, and a teal lowcut top. She also carried a large wooden staff in her hands, although on closer inspection, I realized that the staff was actually an oversized paintbrush.

In fact, much of Artasia's body was covered in paint stains of various shapes and colors. She even had multiple blotches of paint scattered across her sizable cleavage. She took the giant paintbrush, spun it around in her arms, and then she ran the brush over a spot in the wall. After a few quick swings, a large wooden doorway appeared in the wall.

"No way," I muttered as Truck-chan gasped.

"Thanks, Johnny," Animak said. He reached for the wooden door and opened it. Johnny bowed and Artasia dissolved into the same bright aura from before, and then the aura retreated back inside Johnny.

"Brace yourselves, everyone," Animak warned. "We are about to enter Nuxturia, a den of perversion and madness. Stay together and stay alert."

Animak walked through the newly created doorway, followed by Johnny and Hyde. Briggo went in next, and the rest of us walked in after him.

And then we heard the noise.