2 Cold again
Even though the king was thrilled about his wife's news and notwithstanding that he truly wished to smash them on his pressuring advisers's faces, he knew he couldn't.
The law was so strict that even the king himself would be hanged for being the perpetrator.
Three people new the secret. The physician that confirmed the pregnancy after it's queen's delayed period. The queen herself and the king.
It means that the physician must not leave the queen's room and that the king must behave, to not stress his wife further and be the cause of a miscarriage. That's also punishable by death.
Oh, what did you say? "What about the queen leaving her room?"
She had never left before so, what would be the real difference?
Her sole purpose was to get pregnant. Until then, she has to stay on her room waiting patiently for her husband's holy "seeds". That's on the law. Her only maid was the physician.
Since she's technically "still trying" to be with a child, it's completely normal for her to be locked up and no one will double think about it.
And yes, that means that the subjects have seen her once, at the royal wedding. That's it. She never left her quarters again.
...
For Arina the 30 years without getting pregnant were a sample of hell.
First the man she had fallen for wasn't real. She fell for the idea she had of him on her head. The high expectations made the fall 10x more painful.
Pyotr was dead drunk at their wedding night and slept before her. The morning, after he took away her maidenhood while she was still asleep, he then left.
That's how their married life began.
She caught him cheating on the second week. And then she discovered that he had been doing it all along. It wasn't the first and it wouldn't be the last. She had no right to complain, she didn't. She had to apologize for interrupting the king.
Arina thought she would never feel so much humiliation ever again.
Yet it got worse. So many years without a child...
The counselors, advisers, the royal court, the subjects and the king blamed her. Every single one individually pointed fingers at her.
They even discussed with her family about the possibility of her being barren. If so, the king demanded the money back.
Yes, men bought women. You had to pay or else you could never marry a wife. After your first wife has her first child you're allowed to buy a new ones. That's for the rich though, most people had difficulties with saving money for one...
The queen felt broken. She came to the conclusion that nothing would ever give her innocence back, she knew that unfortunately she couldn't afford to be alienated, she was alone and she had to strengthen herself for she knew it would only get worse.
When she finally got pregnant Arina had a fright.
After the wedding she stoped praying, yet, at night she felt she had to.
"Is there someone listening to me? Anyone? Please, please don't let it be a girl. Please don't let it be a girl, to be sold as piece of meat to a rapist pig. Please don't let it be a girl and see this cold, dark and frightening world. Please don't let it be a girl just to traumatize her someday. Please don't be a girl"
Arina cried the intere night until her throat was sore. She begged for the entire night. And she kept that practice for the 7 months of her pregnancy.
Seven...
It is a girl. The gods played her.
It was Arina's deepest fear yet she couldn't be sad. She's not alone anymore. She has a little girl. A beautiful little girl.
Arabella Petrova was the name Arina choose, it means yielding to prayer (don't you dare laughing).
Yet no one shared her happiness. The physician had a pitiful expression when she saw the newborn. It only got worse when she looked at Arina and shook her head.
That had Arina thinking that her baby was born dead but to the physician it meant something even more unfortunate. It was born a girl.
Arina was thrilled that her baby was alive and well but the happiness was short lived.
The physician came back with the king and he was livid.
That was the first time he beat her. He spanked her through and through. It wasn't the last time though.
Pyotr couldn't afford to allow the world to know about his most recent failure, his daughter.
He knew he couldn't actually kill the kid. If he did he would have to kill off the queen and that would be to much of a headache to deal with. He was angry, he felt betrayed and he felt he waisted his time.
He decided that he would punish Arina to appease his anger. And he also killed the physician, she should've known better and strangled that breathing disappointment once she had the chance.
Pyotr realized that it was quite hard to punish someone that had nothing and that never left her room. Still, he noticed that the new mother seemed happier...
The kid.
That's how the king had the idea to punish Arina by taking away her child. He knew Arina wouldn't dare to leave the room so he stole the baby and locked the her alone on an empty room. He never checked with the window was opened.. He actually never went to check the baby again...
That lasted a week and 4 days. And not because Pyotr had grown some conscience, no.
Arina lost it. The amount of accumulated trauma, stress, mental breakdowns and sadness that she had to swallow down made her choke and almost die.
But she couldn't. Her baby is girl. She's a girl on this stupid cold world. She couldn't.
Pyotr was wrong. Arina left her room.
The reason this "punishment" lasted only for a week and a half is that this was when the queen broke the wooden door with an axe, used to decorate the palace's walls, and found the corpse.
She found her child's cold corpse.
A week and four days without water, milk or at least appropriate clothing for the harsh weather. Arabella was a newborn.
What killed her first? Thirst? Hunger? Cold? Arina would never know...
Yet the entire palace discovered something. The queen had had a child. The child died.
Arina blamed Pyotr. For the first time she actually fought back. She yelled at him. Called him a murderer. Asked how could he not pay his daughter a visit, not even once.
She threw a vase at him... then a book... then a plate and finally a chair.
Now you think this is that moment when the toxic male lead falls in love with our female lead's power?
Like, "oh my god no one has ever dared to talk back at me I'm so turned on right now, I love you, forgive me"???
Hell no!!!
He's a misogynistic pig. He got mad and beat the crap out of her. End of story.
The real romance is the story of how much Pyotr loves himself and no one else. Pei!
The council, advisors, the court and subjects started to loathe her. They blamed Arina for the child's death.
The pitiful queen that couldn't get pregnant was now the hateful b*tch that neglected her own kid.
When you lose your parents, you become an orphan. When you lose your husband, you become a widower. But when you lose your child...
There are no words for it. Probably because no word could ever measure the pain felt. No word could ever be enough. No word would tell you for how long is it going to hurt or if it will ever stop. It's cold again. She's alone.
Alone with him...
And since the king still lacks an heir... he's still forcing Arina to have relations.
Even though people hate Arina, they realized she wasn't barren. That putted the king on a fragile position. People started to question if the problem was within himself... if the dead baby was really his... maybe he killed it to hide the truth and frame the cheating woman... well, who told her to cheat!
Arina would never come out as the good one, especially against the king.
Arina married Pyotr at the age of 15. Pyotr married Arina at the age of 32.
Don't try and judge, the king would never buy an old girl. Why would he? If you actually had to pay, would you?
Either way, remember how long it took for him to impregnate his wife? 30 years. He was 62 now.
There are no condoms and he had never knocked up any of his flings... that's odd to say the least but let's pretend we didn't notice for a bit.
It took him 3 more years to re-impregnate Arina. He was a 65 year old man and she was 48.
Very very dangerous age to be pregnant and Pyotr needed a son. This time 5 people were present at the discovery moment. The queen, the king, the new physician, an adviser and a passing by kid. Needless to say their sole presence, even if by accident or coincidence, determined that they would be constricted with the queen for the next months.
Let us just say that Arina wasn't happy about it. Pyotr was thrilled though.
He was worried about his unstable wife taking matters with her hands and ab*rting. With more company it gets harder, right?
Arina had no privacy what so ever. She never had. What bothered her were the looks. Full of malice, full of scorn. They're blaming her again. She's stuck with them. And once again the fear... She won't bear to lose another child.
It can't be a girl...
Remember I said I would always disappoint you??
