Wise words about moving forward

The workers and soldiers, now full of emotions, decided to cheer everyone up by holding a feast in the soldiers honor. For the fallen soldiers that died that day in the crystal hoarders cave as well as the two soldiers who had perished as Leo's hand just now. Leo however, wanted to just be alone with his thoughts and quietly excused himself from the feast and went to his room.

Leo wanted to cry some more, but he had been crying for almost an hour and had no more tears to give at this point, so he just sniffled now and then, unable to even shed another tear. Leo lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he wondered what he was even doing in this world.

Leo thought to himself,"I thought I was doing alright as a Lord, yet here I am losing people and having to watch as they die before my very eyes. I can do nothing but watch as the people I care about seem to just vanish in front of me."

Leo was truly sad at this moment, and at this moment Leo heard a knock at the door. Leo whimpered out,"Who.. who is it?"

The voice that came from the other side was the deacon, as he said through the door,"It is I, Lord Leo, may I come in?"

Leo didn't want to see anyone right now, but decided on letting the deacon in anyway. He replied with a choked expression," Ye- yes.. come in."

The deacon came in and quietly shut the door behind him, pulling up a chair in front of Leo that was at the desk across the room. Leo didn't look up at the deacon, even though he was sitting across from him and was within a few feet of him. Leo was still trying to process his sadness over the events of the last few hours.

The deacon suddenly said after a few minutes of silence,"Leo, this is not your fault."

Leo stiffened when he heard that. Those were the same words that the soldiers had used when they were on their deathbeds, begging for death as they lie there bleeding out in agony.

The deacon continued,"Those soldiers knew what they were getting into when they went with you to the crystal hoarders cave, they knew that most, if not all of them were going to die. It is just as they said, they were prepared to face death that day."

Leo frowned bitterly, and still staring at the ground, said,"But it was on my order that they do so. To new recruits like them, my order is the law, there is no way they could not follow it even if they wanted to. I killed those men, it was my orders and my decisions that got them killed."

The deacon sighed a little and asked,"Lord Leo, may I ask you a few questions?"

Leo shrugged nonchalantly and said,"Go ahead, this failure of a lord will try to answer them."

The deacon said,"Why did you initially give out the order after we expanded our borders that we must take on the crystal hoarders?"

Leo finally looked up, a little confused and said,"Because they would have invaded the city otherwise?"

The deacon nodded his head and said,"Now, why do you think a soldier willingly became a soldier in the first place, despite knowing that he may be facing his own death the very next day?"

Leo sighed and replied,"I do not know, I know nothing of a warrior's mind."

The deacon responded,"It is because they believe that their duty in this world is to protect those things that others take for granted. A life worth living for those who only wish to defend and protect. That is why soldiers become soldiers."

Leo scoffed slightly and said,"So? It still does not excuse my actions."

The deacon replied,"If you see it that way, know this, those soldiers died knowing that they did their duty to the bitter end. Those soldiers died with a smile on their faces because they had completed their one goal in life, to protect and defend those who reside with Fallen Star city. Those soldiers did exactly what they wished for their entire lives, protecting those less fortunate than themselves."

Leo was stunned as he stared at the deacon, processing the words coming from his mouth. The deacon always seemed to know exactly what Leo needed to hear.

The deacon continued as he stood up and went for the door,saying,"Lord Leo, please do not weep and mourn for the fallen. Your people need you to move forwards, to lead them to a better tomorrow. In my eyes, if you want to avenge those soldiers and redeem yourself, make it so no one can harm the things they died protecting. To continue their legacy of protecting the weak and helpless, that is what you must do to properly help them, as well as yourself."

With that the deacon quietly left, leaving Leo alone once more with only his thoughts. The talk with the deacon had truly helped clear some of the fog in Leo's heart and he felt like he was getting closer to feeling ok again after so much happened.

Leo decided that he wanted to speak to his mom so he went into the familial chat to see what they were talking about. Leo scrolled and saw they were talking about how Fred had become a subordinate to Gaston's territory so that they could pool their resources and innate skills together.

Leo pulled up the virtual keyboard and started to type into the chat.

[Leo: Mom? You there? I could really use you right now…]

[Mom: Leo, sweetheart, yes I'm here, what is it? What's wrong?]

Leo couldn't hear his mothers voice and this brought out more emotion within him, causing him to hallucinate that she was sitting in front of him, just like the deacon was just a few moments ago.

[Leo:I needed someone to talk to. Me and my soldiers recently raided an ant colony and we lost quite a few soldiers. I was able to bear the weight of those deaths because I didn't have enough time to think about them, but today 2 of the soldiers from that battle were going to die torturous deaths, so I had no choice but mercy kill them so that they would no longer suffer. I'm… I'm not ok right now.]

Leo read his mom's messages as the hallucinating of her sat in front of him and repeated the words back to him.

[Mom:Oh my god son, it seems like you have been through quite a lot since I last saw you. How are you personally?]

[Leo: I am doing fine physically, but the grief is overwhelming. My orders sent those men to die and my orders are what eventually got them killed. In the end, this is my fault. It's a mistake that someone like me could ever do something as grand as run a territory or manage people.]

[Mom: Sweetheart, you will make mistakes, everyone in this world will, however it is because of mistakes that you will grow. I'm sure others around you may have told you this, but I will tell you again as it is an important lesson, do not grieve for those that gave their lives to protect something they held dear. Those soldiers knew that they were going to die most likely but went and supported your raid nonetheless, because of one thing. Faith]

[Leo: Faith? I'm sorry but I don't know how religion applies to all of this]

[Mom: No son, not faith in a higher power such as a god, faith in you. Those soldiers put their faith in you, so that should they die you will live on and carry the legacy of them into a new day. That is what protecting something with all your heart and soul does to people.]

[Leo: How do you even know that?]

[Mom: Your father was a man I loved very deeply. I would give anything to have him in my arms again, but I no longer grieve for him like I used to, because he accomplished his goal of protecting you until his last breath. He died doing exactly what your soldiers died doing, protecting and defending something more precious and greater than themselves.]

Leo was crying a little again, trying to process the words coming from the hallucination in front of him.

[Leo: Dad died protecting something? I thought he died in a car crash?]

[Mom: I told you that so that you would not feel the burden of his death. No my dear Leo, your father died while protecting you.]

[Leo: Me? How? Why?]

[Mom: One night, while everyone else was out, your father and you were still at the house. You were only 4 at the time so you couldn't possibly remember it, but a burglar armed with a knife broke into the house. The burglar and your father eventually found each other and started a brawl, after the burglar attempted to kidnap you or use you as a hostage. During the scuffle, your father was impaled with the knife, but not before beating the burglar unconscious.]

[Leo: Dad died protecting me? Am I really such a death magnet?]

Leo then read a message from his uncle Gaston and a new hallucination appeared in front of him, and even though it was not real, Leo swore he could feel the hand on his shoulder when the hallucination touched him.

[Gaston: Your father was a great man. He died saving his son. That is all any parent wants for their children, to see them grow up in a world without any worries or problems. Leo, even though he is not here physically, I knew your dad for over a decade, and I am sure he would be proud of the man you have become.]

Leo was very emotional, squeezing out the last little bit of tears he had left in his body.

[Leo: Thank you uncle gaston, that helped me alot]

[Mom: Son, we are a family, we will always be here for you, but these challenges you will have to face on your own for now until we can meet again]

[Gaston: Yes, that is true. Just remember, when someone close to you dies, grieve only for a short while, and then continue moving forward. Only when you move forward and make progress can you complete your mission in life and make those deaths and sacrifices worth it. Everyone in this world is going through similar situations right now, death is everywhere and many are suffering, however it is what we choose to focus our attention on that will get us to where we need to be. Continue the mission that your soldiers wished for you to do, protect those they died defending, so that they may peacefully exist in the afterlife, knowing that their sacrifice wasn't in vain.]

[Leo: Thank you Mom, Gaston, I feel better now. I heading to bed, speak to you soon]

Leo was feeling better after the talk with his mom, uncle Gaston and the deacon had all come to give him their words of wisdom. It was at this point that Leo realized that maybe they were right, there was only one way to make sure that deaths like those never happen again.

As Leo lay staring at the ceiling in bed, he thought about all that had transpired today, and reflected on it seriously. It seemed like the easy road he thought he was riding was going to be laid in blood one way or another and he would need more than luck to get through. He would need a heart as cold as steel to be able to handle the burdens of those who die under his command and watch.

Leo slowly fell asleep under those thoughts, as he continued to think about how to properly protect the citizens and workers of his new territory.