Prologue

You're the Home for the homeless

...................

If only I could erase you with time.

I wish my sick heart look for another cure but you.

However, 

You're my only disease and the only cure.

My role is a vaudeville spectator.

I tell myself everyday and night I worship you.

I tell myself these words, memorizing for fear of oblivion.

I put my own convictions that no one believes but me, as a lunatic convincing herself of such unreal delusions.

Alone in the darkness, I didn't realize that the only one I wanted and needed to hold his hand tight is kind and understanding.

He makes me feel he will never get tired of me.

I can see in his eyes the reflection of my soul inhabiting him as well as his soul permeates every inch of me.

Actually, this fictional character is around me.

However, he only shows me the worst of him, while I see nothing but the best in him.

I pretend to be indifferent in order not to wear my heart on my sleeve. My heart attempts to jump out of my body into his arms.

Perhaps, 

Hopefully, my heart may understand he is not mine, though the whole world witness that I'm the only one he belongs to.

ONLY… 

Whenever I force myself to walk away, I find myself peeking like thieves to keep all his habits, features, and every move he makes in detail.

As if my eyes conspire with my heart, giving it many reasons not to give up on this love. 

Only by looking at him.

After all, I couldn’t tell him what I wanted, or what he actually represents. He was my world, the homeland for a stranger like me.

Without knowing, 

I feel all these emotions with him.

I'm sorry I'm gone.

I'm sorry for not telling you.

You may know… from my Ten Letters..