1 Regrets

I open my eyes as I dread getting up and starting my day, I'm still hungover from last night. My mind is itching for something stronger this morning. I get out of bed and slowly walk to the corner of my room as I lift up the floor board, I grab my bag of pills I have full of MDMA, Xanax, LSD, and Marijuana. I grab two Xanax, I bring them to my end table and I start to crush them up, and I quickly snort the powder Xanax as I hear my foster hell-hound mother Lucy call for me. "ABIGAIL GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW." She screamed sounding furious.I sighed as I realize this is really my life now and I thought to myself, "I hate my life so much.."

I quickly make my way downstairs as I say "Yes ma'am?" Lucy replies "It's 6:30 am I expect these floors to be done before I get up at 6:30 am." I let out a sigh "I'm sorry ma'am I'll get started on that right away." I said frantically. I didn't realize how long I was sitting in my room, because my high was more important than anything else in the morning. "You have until I get back for my meeting, and if everything on this list isn't done, you know what happens when you don't listen." She said with a very demanding tone. She grabbed her bag and walked out the door, I sighed of relief she was going to be gone for a few hours.

Since my mother passed almost two years ago and my father is not in the picture, I've been in foster care. They call me the runaway child, most homes refuse me but the past half year I've been staying with the Henderson's. They have their own two kids Marcus and Lewis, I consider them brats, always getting whatever they want from mommy and daddy. Who are just as bad as their children. I thought to myself long and hard, I had been planning on just waiting out here until my 18th birthday and just going on my way in mid of the night. But the events that are about to happen changed my mind otherwise.

An hour into my cleaning I just finished the kitchen and I was moving onto the living room until I saw the demon child was awake. "Make me some food you bitch." Lewis said in a smart attitude. I looked into his eyes and said "Go make your own food bitch, I'm busy doing the list your mother left me." I said with a snarky attitude back. Lewis came up to me and grabbed me by my throat and said "You do what I tell you to do, you know I can make your life a living nightmare, your never escaping from here I won't allow you too." Tears are running down my face as I'm trying to breathe as he has me pinned against the wall and trying to get handsy with me. Then I hear the front door open and slam shut loudly. Lewis quickly released his grip from my throat as I collapsed on the floor crying.

Lacy came through the hallway and looked at me and Lewis. "Abigail Hill why isn't my god damn house cleaned yet?" She looked as if she was about to kill me, I knew what the punishment was about to be. She came stomping towards me as I kept scooting back towards the wall in fear. She grabbed me by my hair and yanked me off the floor making me stand shaking in fear. Less than a second I felt my cheek burning as she slapped me. "Go to your room, Eugene will deal with you when he gets home then." I quickly ran up to my room scared. I couldn't handle another beating. That was when I decided, I'm going to runaway far from here when it get dark. Eugene is my foster dad. I wish I could say he is nice but he far from it he was worse. He doesn't get home until midnight so I figured I had until then, everyone will be in there rooms by 10:00 pm I'll be able to make my escape then.

As it came to 10:00 pm everyone was already in bed, I spent the whole day in my room where I was told to be, but I was packing up my little clothes and items I had in a small backpack. I silently open up my bedroom door looking down the hallway to make sure the coast was clear, as I'm walking down this hallway of horrors every horrible memory is coming to my head wanting to just run out the houe. But I don't want to risk getting caught, I make my way to the door and it creaks as I open it. "SHE LEAVING." I heard a yell which sounded like Marcus's voice, I bolted out the door into the woods. There was no turning back for me, I'm leaving this life behind.

After running for 30 minutes I had no idea where I'm am I left my phone so they couldn't track me. I knew I was still in New York, I grabbed my water bottle out my bag and started chugging it. I sat on a tree stump in the woods, I'm right next to a road so I figure to just follow it until I get somewhere. After what felt like countless hours of walking, I noticed a small abandon park. I made my way towards it.

As I lay here looking up at the stars on a cold park bench in New York, I think of my mother wondering how heaven is. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her, I've been in New York my whole life, born and raised here. Currently on the run from the Foster Systems, I'm a little scared as what is about to come to my life now. But I'm prepared for what's about to happen to my life, all I can do at this point is ask for forgiveness and shine me towards the right way. I'm just thinking of some friends I'm leaving behind, like Ronnie. Who is probably still pissed at me, all the drugs I have I stole from him. I even managed to snatch some of the new stuff that is about to go on the market it's called "La La Land."

I'm by the border of New Jersey, I think about going over it to see if I can make a life for myself, I'll be 18 in a couple of weeks. But what do I do until then, do I just go or do I stay. Either way I choose I feel like I'm still doomed to never have a great life. All I know what to do is high on anything, I can't go a day without taking anything that will put me in a translation that will make me forget my own name. Isn't life so fucked up sometimes? I think to myself. I get off the park bench and I pick up my backpack and start walking towards the New York and New Jersey border, I already know it'll be an hour or two of walking. As I'm walking down this road my head is telling me to go back but I kept telling myself to keep going forward. I know what you're probably thinking I'm stupid, I'm under age going down a dark road with no streets lights at night in New York.

After 30 minutes into my walk, I came across an abandoned warehouse, it was all rusted but still put together to withhold another night under the roof. As I approached it further it just gave me these chilling creeps, but I told myself to keep going anyway. I walked up a few steps to the door, as I approached this rusty chipped door; I pushed on the door to see if it would open up, as it made loud creaks as it swung open slowly. I stepped into the doorway as I looked around for a cozy spot to rest my head for the evening. Every room of the abandoned warehouse was dusty and falling apart, as I approached the last door it struck me as odd when I looked at the doorknob it looked almost brand new; it was just something about the doorknob that stuck with me that evening, my head was telling me to go back to another office to sleep in for the night. I turned around and chose to listen to my head that time.

I found an office with a torn up couch that would do for the night, it looked all dusty and dirty. I made myself at home in that little office for a while, I laid on that couch for about an hour just waiting to pass out, I was shaking my legs itching to get high, I opened my backpack to pull out my baggy of pills. As I'm holding them in my hand I think to myself how did I get myself here, the day I ran away I went Ronnie's usually he'll just give to me since we grew up together even though he gives me shit about my addiction, he still enables it by giving me more and not cutting me off.

Before I left Ronnie's place he had a bag of new stuff shit sitting on the table with all this Xanax, MDMA, LSD, and Marijuana. It was what his dealer just gave him to sell for him, La La Land was an oval purple pill that screamed take me, it suppose to give you that high rush that has you feeling great about yourself for just a couple of seconds then you feel like you can't control your mind, or your body; you feel yourself moving with the walls, and when the wind blows on you it makes you feel like your flying away. "La La Land." As the words escaped from my mouth while looking into the palm of my hand with the pill in it. I looked up and quickly ran to the desk and wiped away the dust off it as I crush the pill with an older stampler I found sitting on the desk, I quickly inhale it through my nose feeling it rush to my brain, I'm staring off to the distance as I'm feeling that high rush just like my first time, I sit there and smile for a few moments feeling happiness.

I get up and start to stumble out the door into the hallway as I'm walking down the hallway bumping from wall to wall, I see shadows but I'm thinking it just from my high so I ignore it and make my way to the rusty metal stairs. I'm holding onto the railing where I keep missing steps and almost slipping. I make my way to the bottom on the stairs, where I see an office I had missed earlier, I go into the office, as I look around I see a desk, coat closet and a small desk chair. Go through it and find a bottle of bourbon; it was aged about 10 years.

I quickly open the bottle and I take a big swig of it, only feeling the liquor travel down my throat feeling the burning yet satisfying sension it leaves. As I'm sitting at the desk and I hear loud noises coming from outside the warehouse; it was the sound of many vehicles. I feel my heart sinking, I'm thinking it's the police coming to get me to put me back into my foster home. I feel my chest closing up as I'm feeling a panic attack coming on, I peep out the window and let out a sigh of relief when I see it wasn't the police.

That was when I realized they let off bad, and dangerous vibes. There were about at least 10 people all gathered around someone. I noticed they all had weapons, and I saw a few of them reach into the trunk of one of the vehicles. What I saw wasn't expected, I saw them pull a man who I saw hands bound behind his back, and what had appeared to be a brown sack over his head. I saw them making their way towards the door of the building, I quickly grabbed my backpack and hid underneath the old desk.

Trying to calm my breathing as I hear the men coming through the door, it's slowly swinging open and creaking. Next I hear a man saying "Someone.. Please help me." His tone of voice sounded so defeated. There was a small little hole I could barely see through the desk. The men were tall, and masculine with scruffy beards. One of the men that was holding him chuckled as he said "You betrayed the boss and you know what happens when you betray him, you betray all of us." His voice sounded scary, it was deep and raspy. It sent chills through me scaring me even more.

I sat there and thought to myself, how much I regret leaving my foster home, am I going to sit here and listen to someone get murdered? I thought to myself. Then I heard one of them men running downstairs saying "someone has been here, secure and check the area and building, inform Mr.Knight."

As I heard them all ran back outside I quickly got up and tears were rolling down my face. I'm scared I don't know what to do, I thought to myself "Is this going to be where my story ends? I never even got to do anything with my life yet." I'm peeking out the window and I see the men rummaging through their vehicles and see them putting out more weapons.

I see them making their way back into the building. I quickly crawl back under the desk as I put my hands over my mouth to keep them hearing me breathing heavily as I'm terrified for my life. I look over towards the window and notice I left my backpack by the window. But it's already too late, I hear one of the men in the room I'm in saying "I have a backpack over here, it doesn't have a single speck of dust on it." As he shines a flashlight on it.

As the man gets further into the room he pulls out a flashlight, I hear him opening up the coat closet door in the office as it creaks loudly echoing throughout the room. I'm trying so hard to hold back a heavy cry, then someone else enters the room saying "Lucas, Mr.Knight requested his right hand man." He sighs and says "Alright I'm coming this room is cleared but I found a bag, either someone is still here or left and forgot it."

As I hear them both exit the room, I peep out the little desk hole and they are in a blind spot, I hear one of them say "Hey Mr. Knight I found this bag in this room but I just cleared it." I presume it must be this Mr.Knight voice I heard next, "The building is empty there are only a few offices you can only hide in so many places in this factory, no one is here; We have things to tend to please everyone follow me upstairs." His voice was deep, yet had a chilling tone to it that sent chills up my back. I hear voices making their way upstairs.

I let out a big sigh as I heard them all go upstairs, wiping away the tears on my face. I quietly climb out from underneath the desk, I take a look out the doorway to make sure the hallway was clear for me to sneak out the building. I need to be extremely silent, I don't want anyone to hear me. As I'm quietly walking out the office down the hallway I see the door and I run straight to it, when I went to push it open it wouldn't budge and I looked down to only see they locked it from the inside, and I have no key to unlock it. I started crying saying "No.. No, please no." As I'm feeling the tears falling from my face I heard a loud creak behind me, when I went to turn around before I could move a couple inches, everything went black.