17 Scare of the night

After their call with Aurora's father ended, they were hopeful about getting some disguise but they still needed some supplies in town.

"Now we're in town but because of what we did earlier, everyone is going to be on high alert. We can't just run in and out with supplies can we? What should we do?" Asked Gilly.

They had all sat back down in a triangle after the call and the girls were petting their battle monsters while talking. Blaze would have done it too because Dawnshield's fur seemed really pleasant to touch but he wanted him to remain serious and focused. Rewards would happen only if he deserved them.

Still only lit by the lamp, he didn't seem as scary as earlier to Aurora as he talked.

"We can't even run out of town yet because we need to stay to be able to receive our things from Mr. Stardust."

(Should we just stay here and wait for father then?) Signed Aurora.

"We can't because it could take him a long while to send us some masks, we'll starve way before that."

"Then what should we do? Aren't we screwed?"

"No, we aren't because we got a new friend here to help." He said, shooting a meaningful look at Aurora.

"And how exactly is she supposed to help? You aren't planning on sending her in town alone to do our shopping for us are you?"

Aurora really hoped this wasn't the case.

"This is exactly what I was thinking. She is the only one here who won't get jumped by the police the moment she gets outside."

(But what if I encounter some more bad guys?) She worried.

"I don't think you'll see any. They must have been hit pretty badly by the police raid earlier, if there are still some left, they must be hiding like us. I can promise nothing will happen to you. Just in case though, I'll send Dawnshield with you."

If he was confident in his promise he wouldn't send his battle monster with her!

"It will be my honor to escort the second lady on her quest." The small knight expressed in a chittering fit.

"Blaze, you should let her rest, She had some traumatic experiences today."

"Look I swear I understand but we really need her to do it. I'm not asking for the moon, we just need her to walk to a mart and buy a bunch of food and straws."

Both girls felt a bit displeased about sending the small one alone but they knew they didn't have a choice.

(Alright then, I'll go.) Aurora said before standing back up.

"I trust you, you can do it." Blaze told her.

"Stay safe, look both ways before crossing the street." Worried Gilly.

"She'll be fine."

Aurora advanced all the way to the door with Magus and Dawnshield and turned around to look at the other two again.

"Bye, see you later." Called Blaze with a friendly smile and a wave of is hand.

"Quick before it gets dark!" Gilly urged her.

Aurora waved them goodbye too and gathered her courage with a deep breath before pushing the old door open. Peeking outside, there was no one in sight. She slipped through the doorway with her two small guardians and closed back the door behind her.

To find a mall, she only had to go towards the city center didn't she? She looked around a bit and found in which direction the city seemed to grow.

While she walked towards that way, she often shot nervous looks around, her afraid something or someone would jump at her. The further from the other two she went, the more stressed and scared she felt. She didn't want to be alone again. It felt so much safer in between those two. Now that she knew all of Blaze's abilities, he didn't seem that strong but she still felt much better with them than without.

"Do not worry second lady, I will watch out for any ambush. This brave knight will not let you down!" Reassured Dawnshield with its small voice.

"I won't let anything harm you again." Said Magus "Let us work together knight."

"Of course, with us two around, nothing will be able to leave a scratch on her."

Their talk felt soothing for her. It reminded her that she wasn't really alone. These two would protect her just fine for a bit and she would be back shortly. She thanked them both with a pat and a scratch behind the ears and continued her mission after stifling her anxiety with another deep breath.

Walking under the stretching shadows of the old dilapidated buildings, Aurora had some time to think about what had happened to herself. Now that she wasn't in immediate danger and that she had calmed down a bit, she was able to look back at what she had done more clearly.

She had been betrayed, attacked, kidnapped and in her panic had ended up linking her life to a guy she had never met before. Why did she do that? Did she really feel that lonely? She should have waited to know those two better before she waved the invitation before them. Now she was stuck with them, what if they turned out to be boring or worse, mean?

If her tastes weren't close to theirs, they would constantly be annoyed at each other. She missed the friends she had in her other life. Who knew if she would get along with Blaze and Gilly as well as she did with her best friend Cassia. Would she ever see her again?

If she was to be moved from world to world every ten years until she died, logic said she wouldn't. Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes again. What was the point of freezing the world she was from while she was gone if she was never coming back? Was the voice lying or hiding something from them? There must be a way to go back.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she reached a mart with its classic giant ball sign above the door. She had barely left the outskirts of the town and she already found one, these things really were everywhere.

She passed the sliding doors and once she was inside looking at the shelves, she suddenly realised that they didn't tell her what to buy. She was so preoccupied that she didn't even think about asking them. What kind of food did they want exactly? She couldn't exactly go back now to ask them, it would be such a waste of time. The guy at the counter started looking at her with a frown because of how long she stood in the doorway so she stepped further inside and moved her feet towards the food and snacks.

Walking down the alley, she looked at all the things presented, wondering what the others would like. Maybe chips, everyone liked chips. She picked up a bunch of snacks she liked, a bunch of fruit and chocolate bars. If she was to buy a bunch of food, might as well pick things she liked. She was about to go to the counter with those things before remembering she would need to eat it all through a straw.

She put everything back onto the shelves in disappointment except from the fruits. After walking up and down the rows a couple of time, she finally found herself in front of the counter and the guy working behind the cash register. She pushed all the food, straws and painkillers onto the counter, complaining in her head that it was way too high. She wasn't small! It was the counter that was way too tall for normal human beings, that's it.

"Hello flower girl, what happened to you?"

She wasn't little! Also, why did he call her flower girl? Was it because of the two grass type at her side, because of her hair or something else? Anyway, she pointed at her face and tried to mimic him that she couldn't talk.

"Wow that's terrible." The guy said as if he somehow understood what had happened to her through those few gestures.

His aura seemed to indicate he was a bit sad for her but the way he talked was so weird. he didn't mind the weird look she shot him as he scanned everything she was buying.

"Is it really okay for you to come here alone this late?"

She pointed at her two protectors, she wasn't alone.

"I see... you're not a talkative one are you?"

She paid up for everything and shoved it all into her backpack before leaving for the door.

"Be careful from now on little girl."

Wasn't that guy annoyingly nosy? And she wasn't little! She didn't turn around to wave him goodbye and just left stomping her feet. Outside it was dusk, a dark one where the sun is already beyond the horizon and the moon hasn't risen yet.

It was chilling, not in a cold way but more in a scary sense. She let the two grass types lead the way and hid herself behind them on her way back. The street lamps were lit everywhere at first but soon, reaching the abandoned part of the town, they faded and left her in the dark. She hurried back, she really didn't want to stay out any longer.

Meanwhile, back in their temporary hideout, Blaze was talking with Gilly.

"In the end, we really are getting saved by a rich person." Blaze casually told Gilly.

"What are we talking about here?"

"You said you weren't cursed and to prove it you said something like 'There's no way we're going to be rescued by an extremely rich person'"

"Oh shit, I forgot about that. Do you think I really am cursed?"

"No, I still don't think curses are a thing."

"But, that thing gave you two real curses before sending you in our world didn't it?"

Blaze had not thought about it that way.

"It's not really a curse is it? I'm pretty sure it's got nothing to do with magic."

"Aren't you just hiding behind words now? There's even one called 'damned' you said. How can you say they aren't curses?"

"Think whatever you want of those, we can't change them anyway. I don't think you are cursed either. It's just a coincidence. I don't think that you saying that could ever cause us to bump into Aurora who just happened to be another participant. Also, I doubt you could use a curse to your advantage so conveniently."

"Yeah, maybe, that wouldn't be very curse-like. But it's a really strange coincidence isn't it? What do you intend to do with her?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't mind bringing her around with us or even more, but isn't she too small? It'll be like raising a kid even though I couldn't have mine yet, that's disappointing. Even more precisely, what happen when we get married and I want some alone time with my other half? She's always going to be there."

Blaze didn't particularly want to know what she meant by 'or even more' but he did understand her overall point.

"Yeah, I get it but she won't be right between us all the time. She will probably understand if we want a bit of time alone together. I'm sure we can find a way to distract her for a while. As for raising her, we aren't, we're only training her and protecting her, it's different."

"Is it?"

She didn't seem convinced at all.

"You have to remember that she lived another life before this one, she might look small and young but in reality, she may have lived longer than you. From what I understand of the show she and I are stuck in, we will probably have to fight together for tens of years. I fully intend to make her into someone I can count on."

"But right now, she is just as big of a weakness as I am myself. You better train her good or you'll just have a dead weight stuck to you forever."

"I will, don't worry, I'll do my best. What about you though? Do you want me to train you as well?"

"Nah, I don't have all your fancy powers, I'll just stick to training monsters, that at least I can understand." She said with a pout.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, why?"

"You seem mad, tell me the truth."

"I'm just annoyed that I finally got you for myself but then I didn't. I'm not mad. I'm not angry at her either, I think it's great that she is here, it's a good thing for us, I just wanted more time alone with you."

"We will have plenty of time, believe me. We are getting some right now."

"Yeah, you're right..." She said in a long sigh. "It's not really related but, having found a second one like you suddenly made all this talk about other worlds much more real."

"Gilly... I-"

"I know, you said you would definitely find a way to bring me but I'm still scarred."

Blaze had no idea on how to reassure her. He took her in his arms and stayed silent for a while. There were too many things he didn't know, anything could happen and the simple truth was that, if the void entity decided he couldn't bring her with him, there was nothing he could do, he was powerless against it. Still, he needed to tell her something no matter what.

"Look, honestly, I don't know yet but it would only be logical to have a way to bring someone else."

"How is anything about this logical? We are talking about being thrown into other worlds here, with almighty beings of light, weird powers and curses."

"I get that the situation itself is far from logical but its actions aren't that chaotic. It's just a thing that was bored and created a show to entertain itself. I believe it even said it was broadcasting it somewhere meaning he isn't the only one watching. My point is that no one likes a show where an important character disappears for no reason. In that case, there must be a way."

"I guess it does make sense." She said unwillingly.

"Right? Just believe me on this like you so readily believe I will somehow get us out of the mess my father made."

"Ho, but I have no doubt that you will." She said with a half smile.

At this point, the mood was much better, she was just trying to act sad to get spoiled some more. Blaze indulged her for a bit and afterward, they talked about trivial things while waiting for Aurora to come back.

When Aurora opened the door with her bit of supplies, the other two were setting up their things for the night inside the abandoned building. She ran inside the dark building to flee the outside that was just as dark. Her heart was beating fast but her stress instantly vanished when she got closer to the light and her two new partners.

She felt extremely proud of herself because she went to a store by herself for the first time, in the dark no less, and came back just fine. She was thrilled about what she had accomplished and the proof was in the strong pain she felt in her jaws because of the smile she couldn't suppress.

The other thing she felt was relief, she was so glad nothing happened and so relieved that everything went like it was supposed to and everyone was here and fine.

"Aurora, you're back! Good job." Gilly told her with a hug.

The hug felt really warm compared to the cold outside and very reassuring. It was a hug telling her everything would be fine. She had no reason to worry about if she would get along with them or not. Of course they would never replace Cassie but who said she could only have one best friend? (1)

While she was receiving her congratulatory hug, Dawnshield was praised by his master for his good work. Unlike Gilly, Blaze waited to see what she had brought back before he told her she did a good job. He didn't want to reward her for a failed job.

"Great, well done. That should be enough while we wait for your father."

(Thanks)

Aurora had a mental smile. She hadn't done it to be praised, praises coming from him weren't that rewarding, she just wanted him to do his best to train and help her. For that, she needed to do her best as well. Her father had said it the other day, you do all you can for your friends because you know they will do the same. If she made no efforts at all, he probably wouldn't feel inclined to help her. It wasn't that she disliked him, or at least she didn't think so. It was more because it felt like being praised by a total stranger, it was very close to be the actual truth too.

After that, they went back to setting up their camp. It didn't take them that long since it was impossible to pitch their tent on concrete. They had to settle for floor mats and sheets which didn't take as long to set up.

Once everything was in place, they threw Blaze out of the building so that the girls could change into their pajamas. If only Gilly had been there, he would have just turned around, even though she would have probably said it was fine to not look away. But, Aurora was here too so he was forced to leave. While outside, Blaze made sure that nothing seemed out of the ordinary and that no one was walking around nearby until he was called back.

Once back inside, he first saw that they both wore a pajama of the pear brand and he found it really funny. Just the name alone was hilarious, it was a pear pajama but everyone just called them P-jamas. Aside from that, they were really ordinary clothes. He went to his own sleeping bag without laughing and made sure his equipment was close by in case something happened. They had separated their sleeping bags with the two girls on one side and Blaze on the other, with the lamp in the center of the three meter wide space in between them.

"Are you sure that's all right? I'd rather sleep on your side." Gilly said, mischievous and disappointed in equal part.

"It's better that way." He answered with a goodnight kiss.

Of course it was better that way! Thought Aurora. She didn't want to sleep alone in this dark and creepy place and she wasn't about to sleep with a boy so close, especially Blaze.

They all said goodnight to each other and after she took some of the painkillers, she laid down in her sleeping bag like the other two. Houndy came to sleep against Gilly while the other two monster took their jobs much more seriously and prepared to keep a semblance of watch on the sleeping group.

She signalled Magus to come closer and petted his head to reward his diligence before hiding herself within her bag. Her green friend seemed to really appreciate it and made one of its large lazy smiles. With Gilly just at her side and Magus watching over her, she fell asleep almost immediately.

***

Through the haze of her sleeping mind and the darkness of her closed eyes, Aurora started hearing noises. Unsure if she was still sleeping or not, she could barely register the rustles, the grunts and the whispering voice. She tried to make out what those things were and after a long time of foggy confusion, she guessed that the voice was probably Gilly. That was right, she was currently camping with the two known terrorist. Her heart skipped a beat and then calmed down again remembering all that had happened already, she was safe. But what was going on?

"Blaze, stop." Gilly was saying.

Aurora felt that her voice didn't come from where it was supposed to so she opened one of her eyes and discovered that Gilly wasn't asleep at her side anymore.

"It's just a nightmare, calm down, everything's fine."

Searching through the weakly lit area around the lamp, she found her kneeling close to Blaze. She was gently holding his head on her lap and whispering more calming words to him. Even in the dark she could tell, he wasn't looking good. He seemed to be in a lot of pain, he tossed and turned and was slick with sweat. What was going on with him? What sort of nightmare did he have?

Aurora too had some nightmares from time to time but she could hardly believe she looked like that when she made those bad dreams. The three monsters were also looking confusedly at the scene, Dawnshield seemed especially nervous for his lord.

Gilly shook him a bit in an attempt to wake him up.

"Come on, you're gonna wake up Aurora. Blaze!" She was saying in her ushered voice.

Suddenly, he turned on himself and hit Gilly in the knee with a half closed fist. Aurora would have gasped of surprise but the bandage around her head stopped her.

"Ow! Every time!" She hissed quietly. "Wake up Blaze!" Her voice was annoyed but her aura was just a worried shaking mess.

Aurora sat up to have a better look and ask what was going on. She didn't even have to because Gilly saw she had woken up and tried to sort this all out while Houndy was barking.

"He hit mistress! He hit mistress! Unforgivable!"

"Blaze is just having a nightmare, everything will be fine once he wakes up."

(Is it really fine?) Aurora asked, he didn't seem fine to her at all. In fact, neither of their aura seemed to be fine.

"Yes, don't worry, it happens all the time, nothing to be scared about, hold on a second."

Since aurora was already awake, Gilly didn't hold her voice back and truly woke up Blaze by calling his name loudly. He yelled in surprise, jumped and almost hit Gilly again before slumping back down in a huge relieved sigh.

"You had a nightmare again."

"Yeah, I know..."

"You woke up Aurora."

He had not really reacted when told he had a nightmare but at the mention of Aurora, he moved his head a bit and saw her looking his way, sat in her sleeping bag.

"Sorry, it wasn't on purpose..." He apologized. " What time is it?"

Why would it be on purpose! Who made nightmares on purpose!

"It's just 3 AM." Answered Gilly.

"Damn it, I had hoped it wasn't this early." Blaze grumbled, he really didn't want to go back to sleep.

"It's okay, I'll help you fall back asleep. You should go back to sleep too Aurora."

(Are you sure?)

"Yeah, it's just a stupid nightmare, I'll talk to you in the morning. I'll go back too once Blaze has calmed down."

"I'm fine, you don't need to."

"But I want to."

Since their auras had greatly improved, she listened to her and hid herself back in her sleeping bag. It took her a while to fall back asleep, she couldn't help but wonder what this was all about. The way they reacted, it seemed to happen often. It took her so long to sleep again that she was still awake when Gilly came back to bed.

In the morning, they started the day by kicking Blaze outside again to change and it was only then that Aurora really saw the bruises on Gilly. None of them seemed as bad as her own wound but there were a lot of them.

(How did you get all those bruises?) She asked after putting on her clothes.

"All of them are because of Blaze, but he's not a bad guy!" She added in a hurry to her statement. "He just has a lot of nightmares. Speaking of Blaze, Dawnshield, could you go get him?"

The knight complied while Aurora asked for further details.

(But why does he get so many nightmares?)

"I don't know, he's been having them for a long long time. We haven't found out what it was yet, a curse, a ghost, or-"

"Or guilt."

The door had opened and Blaze joined up with them, adding on to the list of possibility.

(Guilt about what?)

"I don't know, it's like in that song. If you can't sleep, it must mean you've done something bad, the question is, what that bad thing was in the first place."

"What, you think one of our dumb pranks could have cursed you?"

"Probably not, I just really love that song. It's-" Interrupting him, his P-gear started ringing. "Hold on, I wonder who it could be so early in the morning." (2)

He picked up the device and looked at the number on the screen.

"Well, who is it?"

(Is it my dad already?)

"I don't know, I don't recognize the number. Hello?" He asked after accepting the call.

The voice that answered was very unexpected. It was a rough but seemingly jovial voice. He instantly became angry when he heard and recognized that voice.

"Blaze... What do you think you are doing?"

Aurora witnessed his aura darken and surge upward as if it was burning. She took a step back from fright.

"Dad!" He yelled. "How the fuck did you get my number?!"

Gilly had told her that he was angry at his father but she had not expected his aura to be so ugly when talking to him. Would her own be so scary if she came across Hergis?

"You're my son, isn't it normal for me to have your number?"

"Normal my ass! You never called me before."

"Well, I had nothing to tell you. Also, I'm a busy guy."

"Busy blowing up bombs! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Technically, I did no such thing. I wasn't the one who pressed the button and I wasn't the one who wrote the codes either."

This was just infuriating to Blaze. How could he say he was innocent so calmly when he was clearly behind it all.

"Bullshit! We all know the idea came from you!"

"If people could be arrested over ideas, the world would be an empty place, everyone would end up in jail."

He gnashed his teeth in anger while the girls tried to calm him down.

(Stop arguing with him, we need information. What does he want? Ask him why he tried to kidnap me.)

"Aurora is right, calm down. It's the perfect moment to get some answers out of him. Focus. Screaming now is pointless."

"In any case." His father continued. "Why are you so annoying suddenly? I was the one calling to scold you and I'm the one who's getting yelled at instead."

"Why would I be the one who's annoying? You are clearly in the wrong here." Blaze insisted. "What were you even intending to scold me on?"

His father had messed up his entire life and he hadn't had the chance to do anything yet since then, what did he even want with him? He was still angry but he did his best to regain his calm, the grils were right. While he talked, he thought about turning up the volume of his father to let the other two hear the conversation correctly.

"Many things, you already screwed many times and the plan was just set in motion."

"What are you talking about?" He asked vexed. He had done nothing wrong, and he had nothing to do with whatever his plan was.

"First of all, it would have been easier on everyone if you hadn't signed your computer trick."

He would have told him that he just had to erase it if he found it so bothersome but then again, if he had been able to do that, he wouldn't have needed him in the first place.

He kept his complaints about how this clearly brought him more trouble than his father to himself and let Craze continue.

"Then, you didn't listen to me and you brought the girl with you."

"Why do you care? It's got nothing to do with you."

"It does, it's messing with my plan, she shouldn't be there, she is a nuisance. Same for the other one, why did you steal her from me? You aren't supposed to see her yet."

He wondered how going around with Gilly was messing up his plan but ignored his own questions in favor of the much more important questions there. Disregarding how he already found out about his interference, he had a chance of finding out what he intended to do.

"Steal her from you? You were kidnapping a small girl, of course I'm going to rescue her. Why did you even do that, what are you trying to accomplish?"

"I believe telling you is against the rules. Well, I'm still quite angry about it because you are jumping steps but fine, I can live with it. You can keep her around, just don't lose her, she's gonna come in handy latter."

"What the fuck are you saying?"

He really wanted to know what he wanted to do with her but of course, his father ignored him.

"Listen, I have things to ask of you and you better do what I say." His tone wasn't amicable but he was more speaking like a dad that caught his kid doing something wrong than a bad guy threatening someone.

"First of all, whatever you do, don't lose the Stardust girl, don't give her back to him and don't let her out of your sight, we need her. Next, just stop hurting our own guys, you'll regret it later when the time comes. Last thing, I'm sure I don't have to tell you but train like hell and don't get caught."

"What do you mean our guys, they are yours, I don't care about them at all."

"They aren't though, I gave you the commanding badge. What did you think I did that for? I'm not one of the other two, I don't go for complicated things, I went straight to the point."

Blaze had a hard time processing what he meant.

"What?"

"Isn't it clear! By the creator, you have the commanding badge you are the leader, isn't that easy to understand? As long as no one takes it from you, you are the boss, I'm just the second in command."

Everyone in the room had a confused and shocked face.

"But... What?"

Blaze took a while to process what he had heard before he started yelling at his father again.

"I never asked to be the leader of a bunch of anarchist morons! Why would you ever think it was a good idea to give me that! Take that damn thing back!"

"No, I can't, I need you to have it."

"Then stop every stupid plan you are following, call it all off!"

"I can't either, that's the whole point!"

"Why are you so frustrating! What the point of having that thing if I can't make you stop this insanity."

"The point is to win of course, and before you ask, I won't tell you were the other bases are because obviously I don't want you to screw everything up."

Blaze snorted and blasted air from his nose in frustration.

"What the fuck do you think I'm gonna do to escape the cops!"

"Don't worry too much about that. Soon, they will have more pressing matters to attend to than just go running after you. You aren't the center of the world yet you know."

What was going on in his head? What did that even mean?

"What are you planning on doing now? What did you want Aurora for?"

"Why are you so nosy, you sound like your mother. Just be patient, think of those answers as a surprise, although I'm not sure you will like either of them... You sure have some weird tastes, you really picked up the girl of the maniac next door?"

"How is that weird? What do you even have against Gilly?"

"Well, just watch your back, you have no idea how many people her mother killed, it's making even me shiver."

"What!" Gilly exclaimed, really disturbed.

"You expect me to just believe that?" Blaze told him frankly.

With the amount of nonsense his father was spewing, there was no way he would just believe that the mother of his girlfriend was a serial killer.

"You may not believe me but she's a psycho, I kept that rifle to protect myself against her more than anything else. Even just the look in her eyes creeps me out."

"Alright, stop it, you don't have any proof at all."

"None I can show you but I'm sure you have noticed it as well, the only one who doesn't see it is her husband."

Indeed, Blaze always thought she was kinda creepy but it isn't a reason to accuse her of serial murder.

"Anyway, all I'm saying is that the girl is a lot like her mother and you have weird tastes. I don't mind you keeping her as a side dish but I'd rather you picked someone more normal for main girl."

"Dad I will punch you." Blaze said in a very serious, cold, anger.

"Okay, alright, try it, get good and fight me, bye then." And he hung up.

The beep of the lost signal was the only sound heard for a while in the building.

***

(1) Something just hit me while I was writing this. It's got nothing to do with the story so you can skip if you want, you are not losing anything. My best friend died a couple of years ago. Since then, I've grown more and more distant with my other friends. What I just understood is that maybe I felt like I was replacing him by someone else every time I met with the others. I do have a lot of fun with them but even now, the first thing that crosses my mind when anything happens is: I need to tell him. Even though he is not there, he has been dead for years now, I feel the need to share things with him and since I can't, I turn myself towards my other friends. It's not the same though, of course it's not the same, they are different people, it feels like I am betraying him. My heart feels warm when I do things with my friends but at the same time, I guess I was really scared of overwriting what I had before with new things. It is incredibly dumb! I just felt it, creating newer stronger bonds doesn't have anything to do with replacing him or not. Of course nothing will ever replace him but the memories I have of him shouldn't stop me from creating new ones with other people. It has nothing to do with him at all. Wanting to share something with him doesn't mean I shouldn't feel like I want to share with other people as well. It took me the longest time to realise this. I just clicked now writing this small random bit that's not even that important to the story. I feel so dumb, why am I so caught up on this? I just broke myself, I'm crying now. I don't even know why I'm sharing this here, let us all forget it ever happened all right? Do I save this ramble? I guess I should, at least for myself. You go back to the story now, I need a break, I'll write what follows latter. (I did keep this bit apparently. I should at least remove the bit where I say I'm crying, someone reminds me of this before I hit publish.)

(2) There are two songs I know of speaking about this exact subject. One is literally, no rest for the wicked. (I hate that one.) The other one I really like but I was never able to memorize the name, I just catch it sometimes on the radio when they go through rock from the 80e. It goes something like: there is no rest for the wicked ones so please god tell us what we must have done. It may be far from it though since I never saw the lyrics and last time I heard it was two years ago inside a car.

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