This Little Piggy
It took a few days to get the milk and wool factory going. By now, the constant sounds of mooing and bleating were driving him insane. Yet, the noise pollution did nothing to interfere with his supreme quality of sleep, another miracle thanks to the system in Aftercraft.
The wheat farm was growing steadily, Technoblade could now eat egg sandwiches daily, and things were looking up. However, one thing continued to bother him.
"It's not complete without pigs. I mean, eggs are nice, but where's the bacon?"
With only a wheat farm going, Technoblade wondered how he would get pigs without carrots. There was the boat technique, but he wasn't sure it was worth the effort. However, zombies did not drop any loot, so there was hardly any chance of Tecnoblade finding carrots. Or is there?
"Do they have villagers in Aftercraft?"
Thinking about meeting his people in this new dimension made Technoblade anxious. Although he made a lot of videos, talked to people over the internet and met some of them, it wasn't always easy for him to get out of his comfort zone to meet new folks. Not all of them vibed with him, and most humans were unpleasant to associate with.
Then again, maybe villagers in Aftercraft were different from humans. That's right, he was Technoblade, the God of Blood! If they refused, he'd probably take them all under his wing in a dungeon he hadn't made as prisoners. That's right, orphan production!
Life was getting better. Now that he wasn't on the verge of dying at any moment, Technoblade wondered if it was worth the risk to explore and bring a pig back to his base. He did have one farm level modified just for living pork chops. It was slightly different from the cows and sheep as pigs were relatively shorter, but slabs did the trick.
"Better now than never," he reasoned and deposited all his tools.
No tools, no armour, a portable bed and some wood were everything Technoblade needed. Checking that he left everything that would cause mobs to spawn at night in his chests, Technoblade stocked up on food. Who knew how far he would have to travel to find a pig?
"Oh, right. I need to make something to leave a trail."
After making that mistake in his first exploration, Technoblade learned that there were no bookmarks for waypoints of coordinates in F3 for Aftercraft. He wasn't in the boy scouts, but the idea was similar. He had no compass but could leave breadcrumb trails like in Hansel and Gretel, hoping that blocks and torches would not mysteriously disappear in Aftercraft. Anything man-made would make a good trail. However, the problem was how he needed many of these things if he was exploring further.
He had plenty of cobblestone in his inventory, and wood was a good renewable source. Planks and cobblestone were common materials he could use to mark his exploration path. Grabbing all the cobblestone in his chests, Technoblade placed an order with the crafting workshop for two boats.
Feeling prepared, Technoblade picked a direction he'd never explored before and left his camp behind. He came from beneath the mountain from the Juicy Berries trail and was lost momentarily in the meadows behind the river. Even after travelling that far out, Technoblade did not find any pigs. He saw several horses galloping around on the huge plains but had no saddles to bring them back.
The sheep, cows and chickens were near the base of the mountain in the meadow in the spruce forest. However, Technoblade had not encountered any pigs. Sadly, pigs were not as highly appreciated in Minecraft as they only dropped pork chops that could be easily substituted with other food sources.
Going around the large mountain, Technoblade picked a direction to explore directly behind his base. As far as the eye could see, it was still all spruce forest, even behind the mountain.
"Let's see. If I were a pig, where would I be?"
Sun Tzu's number one rule is to know thyself and the enemy. Technoblade was half a pig. If he was a full-blooded pig, he would likely hang out in a glade within the forest. Then again, back in Minecraft, the spawning mechanics decided that.
Plopping down his first cobblestone, the Potato Lord slowly scaled his way down the massive mountainside. He did not want to break any ankles from jumping at this terrifying height. He might have a water bucket, a bed, and two boats in his inventory. However, the extreme first-person perspective, similar to his VR gameplay experience, made everything a hundred times more anxiety-inducing.
After making his way down successfully, Technoblade casually destroyed parts of the spruce forest where the trees were blocking his path of exploration. It was possible to make a detour going around where the leaves were overgrown, but why do that when he could punch those leaves out of his face and litter cobblestone all over the forest floor?
Before he knew it, Technoblade had gone quite far. The sun was starting to turn orange and all he managed to find were some friendly wolves. However, there were no pink creatures, and it was disappointing. Yet, Technoblade did not lose faith. Pigs had to exist in Aftercraft. They had to.
After a good night's sleep, Technoblade continued on his quest to find pigs. He checked the quests available and noticed there was one about making a wheat farm and an animal farm. The rewards were tempting, but more importantly, the quest logs helped Technoblade confirm the existence of pigs in this world.
[Quest: Matchmaker
Requirements: Breed the following animals.
4/2 chickens
3/2 Cows
5/2 Sheep
0/2 Pigs
Reward: Saddle
Note: This reward can only be claimed once.]
Although he had no carrots to breed pigs, seeing them on this quest list gave Technoblade some hope. Also, the reward was rather nice. With a saddle, he could tame a horse and never have to use his feet for exploration ever again.
Munching on a sandwich, Technoblade scrolled through the quest list in search of a clue to obtaining carrots.
Under the agriculture quest section, Technoblade finally found the quest that might give him some new options!
[Quest: Bread and Barter
Requirements: Feed some hungry orphans!
0/6 Loaf of Bread
Reward: 1 carrot, 1 potato, 1 beetroot seed, 1 pumpkin, 1 melon and 1 cocoa bean
Note: This reward can only be claimed once a day.]
Oh.
Oh!
Although Technoblade did not want to feed orphans, he needed the reward. It was probably the only way for him to obtain all these rarer items in Aftercraft without leaving the convenience of his base.
Seeing how this was a renewable quest, Technoblade quickly placed an order for his crafting workshop to craft six loaves of bread while he continued exploring. He only hoped to turn the quest in on time before finding pigs.
Walking around and dropping cobblestones periodically, Technoblade saw how the spruce forest thinned out and blended into a birch and oak forest. It wasn't the best type of biome to be in, but it was nice to see a change in scenery.
As he walked, he sniffed the air. Something smelled burnt.
Looking around, Technoblade sneezed at the smell of smoke getting stronger. He left cobblestones behind and deviated from his original path, regretting that his exploration was no longer in a single straight line. However, this burning smell told him something interesting was just around the corner.
From a distance, Technoblade saw the column of smoke. Even without seeing the disaster, he knew it was a forest fire.
In Minecraft, there was only one reason for a forest fire. If Technoblade ever needed to find enough lava to make a convenient nether portal without making a diamond pickaxe as speedrunners do, he knew just the place to come to.
Hastening his pace, Technoblade sprinted towards the smoky site and did his best to inhale less smoke. Even if he did not take any damage to his health by breathing in polluted air, coughing was a natural instinct.
The forest fire was worse than he thought it was. Unsure if he could physically punch the fire out, Technoblade stood at the side and observed how trees burned, and grass lit up. The lava pool was still bubbling like a thick soup. Occasionally, it would toss little rocks out that sparked new fires around it. Even with a water bucket, saving this forest might be a lost cost.
"Well, there's nothing more I can do. It should die down in a while," he reasoned.
Technoblade heard a squealing sound unique to only one creature in Minecraft when he was about to leave. He spun around on his heel and saw the poor pig squealing as it caught on fire.
"No!" he screamed and tried to save the panicking creature. There was no water nearby, and Technoblade regretted not bringing a bucket of water or any tools.
The swine ran and squealed as Technoblade hastily turned in his quest for the carrot he wanted. Maybe if he lured it out of the hazard zone fast enough, the pig would find water and somehow survive.
[Quest: Bread and Barter
Requirements: Feed some hungry orphans!
6/6 Loaf of Bread
Reward: 1 carrot, 1 potato, 1 beetroot seed, 1 pumpkin, 1 melon and 1 cocoa bean
Note: This reward can only be claimed once a day.]
Ping!
After receiving the six loaves of bread, Technoblade watched his inventory filling up quickly. He found the single carrot and switched it into his hand just in time to witness the final moments of junior pork turn into juicy pork chop.
"No…" he moaned at the unfortunate fate. However, Technoblade still picked the cooked meat from the ground and added it to his inventory.
"Your sacrifice shall not be in vain," he told the deceased pig. "Lead me to your brethren, and I shall save them in your place."
As if the spirit of the newly passed on pig believed Technoblade, more pigs appeared in the distance, walking towards the fire from the other side of the disaster zone.
Equipped with a carrot, Technoblade dashed across the fire-filled forest and easily dodged spreading flames. He might not have a water bucket but he did not need one. Those pigs were in danger, and it was up to him to lead them all to the safety of his slaughterhouse.
Crossing the fire zone in record time that would put any firefighter to shame, Technoblade waved his carrot in front of the curly-tailed animals.
"Follow the carrot!" he yelled and evacuated the drove of pigs into literal greener pastures and paled when he realised that he was now completely lost.
The fire was far behind him, but Technoblade lost sight of his cobblestone trail. With five helpless pigs, the gamer thought fast. What was his best option? He could bring them with him holding the carrot but will he make it back to his base on time?
The answer was no.
"Alright, boys," he looked at his possible ancestors and sighed. "Some of you might have to remain behind. Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it."
Wise men once said to never place all the eggs in one basket. Technoblade believed in their wisdom. Hence, he decided to save some pigs for a second trip if he failed with his first trip.
With a carrot in his hand, Technoblade held it in his other hand while digging a pit to shove some pigs in. He wasn't going to shove all of them, but at least two must remain in that pit if something happened to the three he intended to take back.
"This little piggy died in a fire. This little piggy, fell in a hole. This little piggy got lured by a carrot all the way home," he recited and nudged two pigs in with his legs. They didn't take any damage from the fall, and Technoblade quickly sealed the top with cobblestone after climbing up.
Pillaring a few blocks upwards, Technoblade looked at his landmark and nodded. The forest fire behind him seemed to die as the smoke became less thick. The fire must have run out of new fuel to burn. It was expected.
"Listen up," he told the three little pigs sternly. "I expect everyone to follow this carrot in a single file. If I catch anyone trying to sneak in a different direction, there will be a price to pay."
The pigs only stared at the carrot in Technoblade's hand intently. They did not seem to understand, but he took it as a good sign. The sun would set in a few hours, and Technoblade did not want to risk anything. The easiest way to find his cobblestone trail was probably to run through the fire zone, but he hated risking the lives of his pigs.
Technoblade went around the fire with no better options and complained about the extra distance while keeping both eyes peeled for the cobblestone he placed earlier. Eventually, he found that single piece of cobblestone at the edge of the burnt trees.
Unfortunately, the sun was about to set, and Technoblade looked at the pigs. They'd have to camp in a safer area for the night.
Following the cobblestone trail, Technoblade glanced back every few meters to do a headcount. These swine were obedient, and he wanted to pat them for being good pigs.
Although animals could not sleep in beds, Technoblade set up two boats for the pigs to climb into. After ensuring that they could not voluntarily leave the boats, he slapped his bed onto the ground just as the moon started to rise and went to sleep.