1 Before the storm

They don't undestand us. I don't think they ever intended to either. We're assumed to be the dumbest, technological obsessed, and suicial generation in existence. The truth is we've given up on our own lives because we know we don't matter, we love hard but love from a distance becuase of the lonelyness we felt in our childhood. We seek adventure to feel a rush of excitement, to feel something because our lives have us to consumed in our own head. We're with our parents, and yet we feel a country in the space between us. We simply cannot tell them how we feel, we get the same answers. In their minds we have nothing wrong, we're just too sensitive, but that's not the case. We're too fucked up to even try to explain it to them too. That is until we changed it with the help of Aadrik, Gino, and Aiko the day this all started.

We were each in our houses. Aside from Jose and Manny, they were with a group of tacuaches at the track racing their trucks and cars.

I was getting bitched at for not leaving my room for days. In my defense it's not like we do anything as a family and when we do my sexuality comes up and then comes the arguments and screams. Let's not forget about the slaps either. Next thing I know I'm locking myself in my room on the brink of an anxiety attack. I paced back and forth until I sat on the floor with my back agaisnt the wall. I began to rock myself back and forth trying to calm down but it was useless. I already felt the tears flowing down my cheeks, just like I felt like I was getting sucked into the Earth with no escape. I stood up, knowing what would calm me down. I got the black and gold vape in my desk drawer and inhaled the vaporized thc holding it in for a few seconds before exhaling it out the window. I went into the bathroom and locked the door before sitting in the bathtub. No water, just me in the tub alone with my thoughts.

That same night Jose had finished a race against a truck called the red devil. He had gone to the track with Manny, his gay best friend since elemantery. Manny hated himself for being gay, Jose knew that. Manny was okay with other people being gay, just not himself. That was the result of his father placing him in a trash can after he saw Manny wearing his older sister's high heels when he was six. Jose always knew Manny was gay, but never judged him for it. He didn't think anything of it other than it was normal. Jose had won the race against the red devil, and was dabbed up by Manny. The pair we content until Manny was called a fag by one of the guys at the track. Jose was quick to defend Manny and stood up for him which led to him being called the boyfriend. That disgusted Manny and provoked Manny into punching the guy repeatedly until he passed out. Jose pulled him off and took him out to eat and let him calm down. ¨You know it's okay to be like men right, I know it bothers you that you like not girls, and that's okay, I don't see you any different, it doesn't make you any less of a man. Unless you know, you feel like a woman inside then that's okay too¨ ¨Jose shut up¨ Manny had cut Jose off. Not because he didn't want to hear it, but because he knew his best friend would always reassure him that it was okay and wanted him to accept himself. Although he was annoyed, he was grateful but he still didn't want to fully acknwledge his sexuality.

Ryan. Ryan was making sure his siblings weren't in sight to see what would happen when their father arrived home. His father was an abusive drunk towards him and his mother never did anything to stop him, not out of fear, but because she just didn't care as long as it wasn't towards her which by now bitch deserves it if you ask me. The brown oak door opened and then entered his father. "I see you're ready for me" his father said as he got closer. Ryan noticeably clenched his jaw. "Aw are you mad son" his father stated as he punched Ryan's left side repeatedly. "You know I have to release this stress somehow" he continued. Ryan decided he's had enough and got up to punch his father. "Look who grew some balls, you think you're the man now" his father slurred out. Ryan didn't stop punching him until he knocked him out. But even then he didn't feel any relief, he felt sad. Sad that his own father never loved him, sad that he never stopped to realize that his own son doesn't love him anymore but pities him.

Charlie was in a fight with her mother hence the scar on her cheek. It always got violent between them two. Her mother was a drunk, because of the divorce, and Charlie would tell her to try to cut back on the drinking and that caused a fight between them. Sam never wanted to stop drinking, she told Charlie it was calming her and made her have fun, which explained the men leaving in the morning. Sam broke the empty beer bottle in her hand and sliced charlie's left cheek the last time. Charlie had stopped speaking to her mother after the incident.

Orion was in his living room getting yelled at by his father for not paying attention, but truthfully you couldn't blame him, his ADHD rarely ever let him fully focus on anything, His father didn't understand that though, and that pissed Orion because it was something out of his control and although he had his meds for it, he skipped a day due to his attention being elsewhere.

Gigi was getting beat. Her father had punched her stomach, her back, and her left cheek. Her mother didn't stand up for her, not out of fear, no, she just didn't feel like dealing with the situation just as Ryan's mother didn't feel like it either. Gigi began to go into an anxiety attack as he kept beatingt the shit out of her, not wanting to stop even though he knew what he was doing and what he'd caused.

They're all fucked up aren't they. Every kid dealing with that shit and every parent for not realizing what their kid goes through. But luckily for us that's where Gino, Aiko, and Aadrik come in. You see the one thing that brought us all together was our connection to one another. I was friends with Gino, Orion, Ryan and Manny were all friends with Aiko, and every single one of us were unknowingly friends with Aadrik. Gino was from Japan and so was Aiko, Gino and Aiko weren't related at all. Gino was from a rich family which granted him access to a lot of the latest technology. Aiko didn't have Gino's access to technology but she was as smart as they come with it. Aadrik was fixing a phone at the time, he was smart as fuck too, they all were.

While I was in the bathtub higher than a God damn satellite, I looked at my phone ready to text Gino back after seeing his name pop up on my phone. Gino and I always spoke about our parents and how we felt that parent's needed to understand us better or at least see how we were in pain because of our minds.

Gino: Hey, remember when we had that conversation about older generations understanding us?

Me: Yeah, why?

Gino: What if I told I can make that happen with some software?

Me: I'd tell you...

Me: Let's use it. Let's help them understand us or at least make them.

Gino: Give me a few days to mail you something alright, I'll make a group chat and from then on we talk on there got it?

Me: No yeah, got it.

Gino: Okay, cool. I gotta go. Don't let your parents see what I send. The others will follow the same protocol.

Yessir  I thought to myself as I nodded.

I let the phone drop to the floor and stared at the ceiling, it had stars but it's been a while since I've seen them glow bright in the dark. The blue lights around the room illuminated the room, and let it be dark enough for me to enjoy my own company without getting paranoid of a demon whore being in the room with me. 

There it was. The feeling of crying inside and drowning in my own tears. It was a younger version of me trapped in the darkness of my own body. Younger me was screaming for air, to be able to breathe, but she was brought down by her own ocean and silenced.