God?

[TRIGGER WARNING SUICIDE STUFF AND LOW KEY BLASPHEMY LOL]

I like to think of myself as a relatively reasonable person but no matter how hard I think about it I can not find a reason to keep on living in this shit world. You may ask why and the reason I'd give you would be simple I Hate this world and thus I see no reason to keep on living in this world.

As I walk up the stairs in my apartment complex I think to myself 'will this hurt? of course it will hurt if I survive but hopefully I die instantly so I have no reason to worry' of course this doesn't actually help me with the anxiety I'm experiencing right now but I've always been a extremely quiet person so I compensate for that lack of conversation by thinking to myself alot

As I stand on the edge of the roof and look over the edge I wonder if this is actually the right choice but ultimately my hate for this world pushes me forward and then nothing

CRACK

'huh where am I?did I survive? why can't I open my eyes? am I blind? am I alive? am I dead?'

"No little one you are not dead nor are you alive you merely exist at the moment" A voice in this void speaks out answering my questions even though I did not speak them

'I see and who are you' I think in my mind mainly to test if he can actually read my mind

"I am god and yes I can read your mind" Replies the self proclaimed god

"hah surely you don't think I will believe your actually god do you? and logically speaking god can't exist as who would allow things to go so wrong? surely not an inscrutable being and even if you are such a being would that not be even more reason to hate you?"I replied even though I am annoyed that someone would take me for such a fool

"Have you so little faith in God that you would denie my existence to my face?" The god replied back even though I did not wish for a response

"Why would anyone have faith when there so much information about our pitiful universe? when there is such confort that one can simply live out ther life in peace without needing to so much as work?I simply do not understand how one proclaiming himself a god would not understand even that much" I say genuinely confused and angry that such a fool is taking up my time

"Would you have faith if I take away your comforts and your peace?Would that restore your faith?" The being replies back worrying me greatly however I hold firm in my beliefs

"Huh naturally a fool would seek help when there is no help. Naturally a fool would pray to escape strife when they cannot do so. Naturally one who doesn't understand would believe in a being such as god in order to understand." I respond to this imbecile who does not so much as understand common sense

"Alright then I shall take your peace I shall take your comfort. Will you then have faith?"

"Huh what do you mean? What are you doing?"

"#%&#&#^£&#&#^#^@**@&@!&#^£^&@"

'huh what gibberish is this? is he taking me for a foooo....'Are my last thoughts before I lose my consciousness

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'my head hurts where am I? who is that? why can't I move?'My thoughts go in to over drive trying to figure out what's going on as a weird birdman looks at me