5 Chapter 5

The hours of the weekend had dragged. Each had seemed like a day. Even the usual enjoyable Saturday afternoon of college football hadn’t been able to distract him from thoughts about Jake.

There had been church on Sunday. That had been the one moment when his determination to seek out Jake had faltered. The priest had given a sermon on how holy discipline could counter ones base instincts. He'd made the analogy of how a well-disciplined dog would resist his instinctive urge to chase a rabbit or squirrel and not run off from his master or drag him down the street. At that point Kevin had felt a surge of guilt. He’d rationalized it away as he always did. He wouldn't be tempted if he was straight and had his needs met by his wife. Being gay was not his fault. This need to seek out a man was not his doing. Therefore these high ideals didn't apply to him.