11 Tale # 11: Imaginary

Whenever I'm somewhere crowdie, I always make sure of the things I see. I always make sure that the things I see were tangible, nevertheless I would conclude that's it's my imagination getting the better of me. I don't care if it's an object or people. As long as I can touch them, I'd say they're real.

However, this principle doesn't always work. So I have a plan b. Whenever I'm with someone and I see something that I believe is just my imagination, I'll ask them if they see it too. If they said yes, then it's true; but if they say no, I'll say that it's maybe just my imagination.

It's different when I'm alone. When I'm alone, none of those matters. I'll let my imagination go wild and do its thing. Sometimes I benefit to this, sometimes not. As a writer, I can say that imagination is one of the foundations of my stories. It's actually the biggest contributor to all of my writings, without it, I might not be able to write a story at all. My imagination brought me the things I have now: fame, money and a wonderful career. I was grateful for having this kind of imagination.

I often talk about my imagination during my interviews. Saying things like: my imagination brought me to where I am now, or my imagination is the one who creates my characters, or my imagination is the real one who creates the plot. They said that it's weird for me to talk excessively about my imagination but, I just told them that it's the truth. My imagination also attracted many psychologists and scientists. They studied my brain if I have a tumor or a disorder or anything alike but, they proved and found nothing.

It's just that, I really have a very huge and creative imagination.

As much as good things my imagination brought me, it brought me bad things equally. When I was little, I would always be bullied by everyone. I don't have real friends since they always said that I have an imaginary friend already so I don't need one. Also, once, when I'm alone in my house. I thought someone broke in because I can hear footsteps but concluded it as my imagination. But when I opened my eyes, I saw a man beside me holding a knife. Again, I concluded that it's my imagination. However, it struck me as reality when I felt a stab in my thigh. I screamed in pain and realized that someone really broke in my house.

Fortunately, he was caught and I installed a security system in my house. Nothing happened like that ever since.

Albeit, one incident clung to my mind so strong that I can remember it vividly. It was nighttime and I was writing a thriller novel in my laptop when I heard my phone ring. For me to know that it's real, I always make sure it vibrates before answering. I was pretty sure it vibrated on my hands before answering. I read the caller ID as 'unknown' and wrote the caller's number in a paper. When I answered, I heard a voice said that my father is going to be hanged next week. Of course, I suddenly let go of my phone which tumbled on the floor. I was so shocked from the news that all I could do was cry myself in sadness and agony. My neighbors heard it and went to my house to check me. They saw me in my room laying down, sobbing hysterically and couldn't say a single word.

After I've calmed down, they asked me on why am I crying like that. I told them that I received a news that my father will be hanged next week. They were all shocked about what I said, but I was more shocked on what they replied.

"But, your father died long ago right? He was involved in a car accident and died on the way to the hospital."

I was so shocked and thought 'Could it be my imagination again?' I rushed to my room and looked at my phone contacts. No recent unknown caller. I looked at the paper in my table and saw nothing, no cellphone number. It was my imagination again, it tricked me again. This time, more extreme than ever. One of my neighbors who's used to my imagination, explained the situation to the others and told them to go home. She stayed a little longer until she saw that I'm finally calm and okay.

I was sure it was real back then but now, I doubt myself. Even now, I'm doubting myself. I'm doubting whether you're real, or just another product of my imagination.