1 Prologue: Ballad of the Heart
There was once a man who loved a woman more than himself.
She was the sun of his world, the light in his eyes, and the warmth radiating through his heart. No one else was more important than her. For her, he could do anything.
And he did. He wagered his life to prove he was worthy of taking her hand in marriage.
At age twenty, he entered the military. The next three years of his youth were spent in the hell of wars. From a farmer's son with no wealth, strong background, or prior training, he created an impressive name for himself.
Ou Junsan became one of the six commanders of Shou.
For her, his persistence and determination burned like a roaring fire. All the blood, sweat, and tears he shed were the fuel to keep him going.
Nothing could be compared to her smile that awaited his return.
On the day of his victorious return, he raced through the capital in a hurry. The emperor offered generous rewards for his accomplishments, but none of it mattered. The first person he looked for was his beloved.
Over the hill, under the jasmine tree, he stood waiting. His heartbeat drummed against his chest as her footsteps came closer with each second.
He wondered, he imagined, and he dreamed of this day the very moment he left three years ago. To think this day finally came true, it felt more unreal than his own imagination.
Her hand rested on his shoulder when she reached him. He couldn't help but breathed out her name at their first touch, "Yu'er."
Only he knew the thousand of times he called out her name. Not a day passed by without thinking of her. Before, he called out her name to himself.
Today, she was here to hear it.
His strong arms craved to wrap around her waist, trapping her in his embrace and sharing the same warmth. He wished to hold onto her and never let go.
"Ou Junsan."
He could smell her sweet fragrance, although it was an unfamiliar scent. She no longer smelled of jasmine flowers. He started to turn around, but her hand stopped him.
If it was anyone else, he would've done as he wished. However, this was none other than his beloved. Ou Junsan obediently complied and didn't force it. Instead, his voice pleaded for her permission, "Yu'er..."
Her body trembled slightly and she hesitated. "Jun, I..."
"I held myself back a thousand times. Each morning when I opened my eyes and each night before I closed my eyes, you were the first and last thought on my mind." His words were rushed as he tried to get all his feelings out at once in the quickest way.
At this moment, he wanted nothing more than to pull her for a kiss. He wanted to shower her with his brimming love. He wished for her to welcome him in joy. "I told myself, I had to keep living no matter how hard it was because you were waiting for me."
She took a step back.
He frowed, "Yu'er, don't back away from me."
"Junsan, I..." She took a deep breath before finally revealing, "I'm married."
Ou Junsan's heart fell into the deep sea, the merciless angry waves squeezed his heart until it bled and the water turned into a deep red.
His ears were lying, he refused to hear it... If he could, he would choose to close off his ears. Her words stabbed his heart like none other.
His beloved Yu'er... she was married?
Unable to accept it, he whirled around in a hurry despite her previous objection. "Song Qiuyue, don't play with me. It's cruel..."
"I... I am no longer the Yu'er you loved." Those words were the last words she said before running away.
This wasn't how things were supposed to go. Nothing was as the loving reunion that haunted his daydreams. He stood there frozen in shock, unable to process what she just said. He couldn't follow her as she left.
Hell, he couldn't even call out her name.
Even if he shouted, he knew she wouldn't come back. His Yu'er was long gone.
'Song Qiuyue,' His voice whispered her name in silence. 'Don't walk away, I'm falling down. Don't walk away, I'm shattered... Come back and tell me it's not true. It's all lies. It has to be.'
He wanted to chase after her, to grab her hand and lock her into his embrace so she couldn't escape. He wanted her to be his, just as it was before.
There were a hundred things he wanted to do, a thousand things he planned, but none of it mattered.
She was no longer his woman. Song Qiuyue was no longer his to cherish or treasure. He was not the man in her heart like before...
Yu'er, she belonged to another man now.
Ou Junsan fell onto his knees, drowning in the depths of his sorrow and tears. The pain he overcame in that pit of hell hit his body once again like a thousand arrows shot with murderous intentions.
His body fell onto the hard and cold ground. Motionlessly, he laid there.
The sun rose to its highest point in the sky and the moon came up. Even when his heart was broken and his soul became empty, he couldn't bring himself to say one bad word of her.
He still wished for her to walk upon a path of flowers. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to bear seeing her in tears. Song Qiuyue should only live happily. If he couldn't take care of her, at least she shouldn't make him worried.
That was the least she could do for him.
Every year, when the last day of spring ended and the first day of summer began, on that same day in June, he would think of her again.
Under the jasmine tree with a bottle of wine, he mourned their lost love.
The yearning in his heart during three years of separation was for him to remember alone. The suffering he went through, she would never know.
The words of love he desperately wanted to whisper, she would never know.
The way he longed for her, the way he deeply loved her, the way he sacrificed his all for her, she would know none of it.
Each and every vow he made was only for him to know and remember. He would alone shoulder the weight remains of the love they once shared.
The ballad of his broken heart was to be untold until the end of time.
